Homeschool Coffee Break

Peter denied Jesus three times, rebuked the Son of God, and walked away weeping bitterly. Yet God used him to start the New Testament Church and lead 3,000 people to salvation. If you've ever felt disqualified by your failures, shame, or mistakes, this powerful message will transform how you see yourself and your calling as a leader.
In this episode, you'll discover:
✅ Why Peter's biggest failures uniquely qualified him to lead the early church with compassion and understanding
✅ The common lies Christian moms believe (I'm not doing enough, my kids won't turn out okay, I'm all alone) and the biblical truths that replace them
✅ How to identify the enemy's attacks in your own thought life and respond with God's truth instead
✅ Why accepting God's forgiveness—and forgiving yourself—is essential to stepping into your leadership calling
✅ The surprising truth about rest, busyness, and why filling every moment doesn't make you enough for God
Ready to replace lies with truth? Leaders aren't born perfect—they're made through failure, forgiveness, and faith. Discover your calling today.
Resources Mentioned:
Get your FREE Basic Pass to Life Skills Leadership Summit 2026 to give you confidence that your kids will be ready for adult life
Living Fearless by Jamie Winship - Finding your identity and calling in God, identifying lies you believe, and replacing them with truth
Unbound - Fighting Human Trafficking - Learn more about this important ministry and how to keep your students safe
Show Notes:
Hey everyone, Kerry Beck here with Life Skills Leadership Summit. Oh my goodness, it is finally here. It is Sunday night, five o'clock. We are going to have an awesome week.
We get such great response from the Life Skills Leadership Summit. And I think one reason we have many homeschoolers here, but this is not just homeschooling, how to homeschool or homeschool curriculum. This has something that has some purpose and intention and that is to raise our kids to be ready for adult life, to raise our kids to walk in Jesus and lead and influence for Jesus.
We have some people that homeschool, some people that don't. I would say most people do. But tonight, what I want to do is do a few things.
Before I tell you this, I want to introduce my friend Meredith Curtis. She is our prayer coordinator. Let me tell you, we need a lot of prayer for this. I just got home from Dallas. My granddaughter, who's not even two months old, was dedicated. So I drove in and I just bounced right into this.
I was praying on the way over here from Dallas. It's a three-hour drive just that y'all would be blessed. I really hope that God speaks through you. It may not be tonight, but I pray that he speaks to you sometime during the week, gives you encouragement, gives you motivation, helps you to finish strong, gives you wisdom in what you're doing, whether you're homeschooling or whether you're just raising your kids to follow God.
What Is Leadership?
Tonight is our Sunday kickoff. I am going to begin a series on Peter—Peter's leadership journey from failure to faith. And we're going to talk about the failures tonight. And we will expand it through the week.
Let me tell you, sometimes I think Peter a leader. And we'll talk about that because you're like he denied Jesus. How could you be a leader? And yet God works so many things through him. So I'm super excited about that series.
Before we get started, I would love for you to put something in the chat and tell me what is a leader. Let me just talk to you a little bit about a man named John Maxwell. He is a guru in leadership. And here's what he says: Leadership is influence. Nothing more, nothing less.
Think about that. Leadership is influence. If you are being salt and light as Jesus commanded, then you have begun to obey God's call to leadership. It is influence.
Too often we think my kid's not going to be president of the United States or CEO. But almost all of our kids will lead their families. They will be husbands and wives. They will have sons and daughters that they will need to lead. And so that is what leadership is.
Another quote from John Maxwell is this: Leadership is influence. Nothing more, nothing less. How do you gain influence from people? You invest in them. How do you invest in them? It starts with giving them time.
Peter: From Bold Declaration to Immediate Failure
We are going to look at Peter today. Yes, we're going to look more at his failures, but then we're going to move forward and look at the way that he influenced people. Again, I said 3,000 people trusted Jesus as their savior when he gave his first sermon.
When we look at Peter and we look at Mark 8, Jesus and his disciples left Galilee and went up to the villages near Caesarea Philippi. As they were walking along, he asked, "Who do people say that I am?" Well, they replied, "Some say John the Baptist, some say Elijah, and others say you are one of the other prophets."
Then he asked them, "Who do you say I am?" Peter replied, "You are the Messiah. You are the son of God." He gives this great answer. He tells them truth. Peter grasps and he boldly declares exactly who Jesus is. Jesus commends them for that.
But then immediately after that, Jesus starts talking. Jesus began to tell them that the son of man must suffer many terrible things and be rejected by the elders, the leading priests and the teachers of religious law, that he would be killed. But three days later he would rise from the dead.
As he talked about this openly with his disciples, Peter took him aside and began to reprimand him for saying such things. He just said he's the son of God. And then he's like, "Oh, let me reprimand you. Let me tell God what's going on."
Jesus turned around and looked at his disciples and he reprimanded Peter, "Get behind me, Satan. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God's."
The Lies We Believe
In the same conversation, Peter is praising him. And then the enemy is saying, "Oh, go tell Jesus this, that you need to rebuke him." Those are lies from the enemy. Peter makes a serious error in judgment. And Jesus corrects him.
Can you relate? I can. I will tell you my personal story. For years, I've been doing this. I will be praying in the morning. I love to prayer walk. And I am praying for our family. And I'm praying to cling to Jesus, to walk in righteousness.
And by the afternoon, I'm sinning and doing something that I shouldn't. I pray every morning that we will abide in Christ and cling to the vine and Jesus' fruit will pour out of us. That we will put on the armor of God, that we will love. And I go through all 1 Corinthians 13, and the other one is that we will forgive because God forgave us.
And then something happens in the middle of my day and then all of a sudden I'm sinning again and I am not trusting God. And that's sort of what Peter did. God exposes that I have wrong thoughts that need to be replaced with truth.
What are some of the lies that you believe? Peter believed a lie. He believed that he needed to tell Jesus that is wrong. Don't say you're going to die and raise up in three days.
One of the things I heard several years ago is that I need to yield my right to be right. I need to be humble. I need to yield my right to be right. I have begun praying that for my family mostly and then all of a sudden I was like Kerry, you're not praying this for yourself very much. You are not always the right person.
I lead the leaders at our Bible study at church. I had one leader say, "Hey, before you divide into groups, could you just give me a call?" So I did. And she gave me some concerns, but she goes, "But Kerry, if you need to do this the way y'all have it planned, that's fine. Maybe God's teaching me."
That was humility. She was admitting that maybe I don't have the right idea about this. I'm just going to share it with you.
Some of you might be thinking, I'm not doing enough. And yet, God says, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And he has made you exactly like you are because you are who you need to be for your kids.
I'm not a good mom. Oh, but our identity is in Jesus, not in being a good mom. And again, he has given you everything for life and righteousness.
All other moms are homeschooling better than me. That's not true.
I don't have time to spend with God. Oh, but if you have time for an hour of social media, maybe you do have time to be with God.
I need to fill every moment of my day so I can be enough for God. I want to make sure when I get to heaven, I've done enough. No, that's a works mentality. We need to rely on our faith and grace from Jesus.
I don't have what it takes for my kids to grow up and follow God well or to homeschool. Actually, that's not true. God has given you everything you need for your children. He may not have given you everything you need to homeschool the people down the street. But he made you like you are and your kids like you are. And he supplies all your needs in Christ Jesus.
God calls us to a time of quiet. He calls us to rest in him. And we don't need to fill every second of the day with activity. I personally believe we need rest. We need sleep, but we need to rest in God to trust, but we also need to rest. We need to be quiet.
I'm all alone. That may be the lie that you're listening. You know what? First of all, you're not alone. You can get support. You can get support in our community group.
Speaking Truth Over Ourselves
Several years ago, I was driving home from Dallas and that week I actually sat down and wrote out some truths for me to recite to myself to pour into my soul. So I'm going to read these to you.
Like Jesus, I am chosen by God to be holy. I am chosen by God for great honor. I trust in Jesus. Therefore, I am not put to shame. God loves me and always takes care of me.
I am precious to God because he bought me with his son's blood. I am a daughter of the king, a princess. I live in the light, shining for Jesus all day long.
I control my thoughts, my words, my food, my drink. I receive God's mercy and grace. So I give grace, mercy, and forgiveness to others.
I leave my case in the hands of God who always judges fairly. I speak with pure and reverent behavior and a quiet and gentle spirit.
I wait quietly on God. I am patient. I am kind. I always forgive. I forget offenses against me.
The Holy Spirit renews my mind, my attitudes every day. God never leaves me, abandons me, or fails me. I listen well. I trust in God to fight my battles. He wins my battles.
The one about I listen well, I realized I was interrupting my son on a regular basis. I was like, I changed that. That's a lie to interrupt people. And so I added that.
Those are just some truths and most of them are very biblically based that I have to say to myself. Peter needed truth to replace the lies that he was believing.
Peter's Greatest Failure: Denying Jesus
Let's talk about the biggest thing, the most obvious thing Peter did. He denied Jesus three times.
They arrested him and led him to the high priest's home. And Peter followed from a distance. The guards lit a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat around it. And Peter joined them there.
A servant girl noticed him in the firelight and began staring at him. "This man was one of Jesus's followers." But Peter denied it. "Woman, I don't even know him."
After a while, someone else looked at him and said, "He must be one of them." Peter says, "No, man. I'm not."
About an hour later, someone else insisted, "This must be one of them because he is a Galilean." But Peter said, "Man, I don't know what you're talking about."
And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. At that moment, the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Suddenly, the Lord's words flashed through Peter's mind. "Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny me three times."
And Peter left the courtyard weeping bitterly.
There was a time he was like, "Deny you? I would never deny you." And yet he didn't think he would, just like we don't think we're going to deny him, but he did. Can you imagine the shame and the guilt that he was walking with? He walks away weeping bitterly.
I did not do this in my younger years or when my kids were home, but I actually truly feel badly about my sins. And I have wept over them. Some of the things that I will say, some of the things that I will do, and even some of the things that I think.
If I were Peter and I denied Jesus three times, I would feel shame and guilt. Shame is a powerful thing. It can just bury us. And we don't want that to happen. And we need to get over that.
God's Bigger Plans for Peter
We do that by accepting God's forgiveness. Most people that live in shame cannot truly believe that God will forgive them. There are times I have walked in shame. And yet if I pray in the morning and I'm sinning in the afternoon, I have to realize God forgives me and I just need to move on and say, "Okay, God, you are faithful. You are forgiving. I'm going to accept that and I'm going to move on because you have greater things for me. You want me to live a life of influence and a life of leadership."
God had bigger plans for Peter. He used his sin to actually grow him, eventually to lead the New Testament church.
Don't you think that as Peter was leading all these people, he could relate to man's shortcomings? He was dealing with people that were maybe walking in shame themselves. And he could understand that.
Just like Paul, Paul persecuted the church. I mean like kill people because they trusted Jesus. And God uses those experiences for us to relate. In second Corinthians 1, God talks about our sufferings and our trials and he takes us through those things so one, we can grow closer to him, but also so we can encourage others that are walking through something similar as well.
Leaders will make mistakes. Peter did. I do. You will, and your kids will. And we need to all accept God's forgiveness. We need to forgive ourselves or teach our kids to accept God's forgiveness and forgive ourselves and forgive those around us, but also learn from our mistakes.
Finding Your Calling
The biggest thing I really want you to think about is we make mistakes. God forgives. Are we going to learn from that? But God has a calling for Peter. He has a calling for Peter to lead the New Testament church. He has a calling for you and he has a calling for your children.
More than likely if you're here, God's calling is to homeschool your kids, to raise them to influence and to follow Jesus. But your children may have a different calling than you.
Maybe your child is called to go be a missionary in Africa. We had some friends. I could not imagine now as a parent letting your kids go off to Africa or South America or wherever to be a missionary. And yet God calls us to do things like that.
We need to look at our kids as they are growing up and pray for them and help them discern what God's calling for their life is. And we want to raise them to be a leader.
What's a leader? It's an influencer. Peter did influence others. He started as a fisherman, but he turned into a fisher of men. 3,000 people were saved on the day of Pentecost.
That is a great calling. God took his failures, put them into faith, and then continues to use them.
Ready to dive deeper into raising leaders who influence for Jesus? Join us at the Life Skills Leadership Summit where we equip parents to raise kids with purpose, intention, and eternal impact. Visit lifeskillsleadershipsummit.com to learn more!

What do you do when you're walking with God but your spouse isn't? Erin Cox shares her powerful testimony of marriage restoration that started in a living room encounter with Jesus and led to a complete transformation of her family.
✅ Why "Christianese" was actually pushing her atheist husband further away
✅The 1 book that changed how she loved her unbelieving spouse
✅ How 1 Peter 3 became her daily prayer strategy
✅The moment the Holy Spirit told her exactly what to say after years of silence
✅ Why God can save anyone—even in a living room with no one else around
Ready to discover hope for your marriage?
Grab the resources mentioned in this episode below!
Resources Mentioned
Get your FREE Basic Pass to Life Skills Leadership Summit 2026 to give you confidence that your kids will be ready for adult life: https://HowToHomeschoolMyChild.com/lsls26
I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist, by Norman Geisler
Sacred Influence, by Gary Thomas
Erin Cox is a seasoned homeschooling mom of four, ranging from elementary age to young adult. Alongside her husband Danny, she serves over 100,000 homeschool families through publishing Charlotte Mason and Classical education curricula, all from their homestead in central Alabama. When Erin isn’t wrangling sheep, Australian shepherds, two rambunctious boys, or her energetic grandbaby, she enjoys audiobooks, podcasts, and the occasional quiet moment with embroidery.
Connect with her at ShopGentleClassical.com and LifeAbundantlyBlog.com. You can find her on Instagram and Facebook.

Is your child's screen time affecting their developing brain more than you realize? Join Kerry Beck as she sits down with Mandee Hamann, from Screen Strong, to uncover the surprising brain science behind screens and why even educational apps might be causing harm.
✅Why the frontal cortex doesn't develop until age 25 and what that means for smartphone use
✅The shocking truth about dopamine levels in gaming vs. nature play
✅ How to tell the difference between passive and interactive screens
✅The 30-day detox that's reversing ADHD-like symptoms in kids
✅ Practical ways to replace screens with activities that build strong brain pathways
Ready to protect your child's developing brain?
Grab the resources mentioned in this episode below!
Resources Mentioned:
Get your FREE Basic Pass to Life Skills Leadership Summit 2026 to give you confidence that your kids will be ready for adult life
Screen Strong Chart for Families
Mandee Hamann, businesswoman and former earlychildhood/children’s pastor is mom to 2 young adults and 1 teenager. After her own family struggled with toxic screen issues, she was introduced to ScreenStrong. The ScreenStrong lifestyle changed everything for her family. Mandee became a ScreenStrong Ambassador and is committed to spreading this powerful message. She occasionally guest hosts on the ScreenStrong Families Podcast and is a member of the ScreenStrong team as the Ambassador Liaison. She enjoys training & equipping Ambassadors from all over the globe to spread the ScreenStrong Solution to screen conflicts in the home.
Follow ScreenStrong on Facebook and Instagram

Thirty years ago, we never imagined we'd be navigating conversations about gender identity and sexuality with our children, but here we are. In this powerful conversation, Dannah Gresh from Pure Freedom Ministries shares biblical wisdom and practical tools to help you confidently guide your kids through today's confusing culture.
In this episode, you'll discover:
✅Three key Bible passages every child needs to understand about their body and identity before the world tells them lies
✅How to have age-appropriate conversations about gender and sexuality without robbing your children of their innocence
✅The critical difference between accepting and affirming when someone you love is walking through gender confusion
✅Why your child's maleness or femaleness is directly connected to reflecting God's image in the world
✅Practical strategies for responding with both truth and compassion when your kids encounter gender ideology at school or online
Ready to equip yourself with biblical truth? Grab the resources Dannah mentions in this episode to start these important conversations with confidence.
Get your FREE Basic Pass to Life Skills Leadership Summit 2026 to give you confidence that your kids will be ready for adult life: https://HowToHomeschoolMyChild.com/lsls26
Resources Mentioned:
It’s Great to Be a Girl
Lies Girls Believe
Lies Girls Believe Mom’s Guide
Lies Young Women Believe
Lies Women Believe
It’s Great to Be a Boy
Lies Boys Believe
Lies Men Believe
Dannah Gresh is the founder of True Girl, a ministry dedicated to providing tools to help moms and grandmas disciple their 7–12-year-old girls. She is the co-host of Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth’s Revive Our Hearts podcast and Revive Our Hearts Weekend. She has authored over twenty-eight books, including a Bible study for adult women based on the book of Habakkuk. Dannah and her husband, Bob, have just released a new book and limited-series podcast called Happily Even After which tells their marriage redemption story. They live on a hobby farm in central Pennsylvania.
Show Notes:
Introduction: A Topic We Never Imagined Facing
Kerry: Well hey everyone, Kerry back here with Life Skills Leadership Summit. Today I'm excited—not because of the topic, because it's a really difficult topic on sexuality and gender—but Dannah Gresh, I've just gotten to know her from a distance through podcasts and Revive Our Hearts and reading one of her books as well. But I do know that she has got a lot to say on this issue. So Dannah, thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate it.
Dannah: Oh, I am so honored and delighted. Thank you for having me.
Kerry: So before we get started, let me just pray for us and we'll let God guide this conversation.
Father in Heaven, thank you. Thank you for today. Thank you for Zoom. Thank you that we can have a conversation and we can share it with many, many people. We thank you that you are sovereign, that you're the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and we can rest in that no matter what's going on around us. And there's a lot of mess going on around us, but we can have our hope in Jesus.
We just thank you for Jesus and the bond that we have in Him through the blood that He shed for us. I thank you for Dannah being here. I pray that the things that you want said will be spoken through this conversation, that you will be glorified, and that the ones that are listening, you will just really touch their hearts and show them what types of practical steps or spending more time in the Word—whatever you want them to do—and just to be led by the Holy Spirit. We pray all these things in Jesus' powerful name, amen.
Dannah: Amen.
About Pure Freedom Ministries and Partnership
Kerry: Okay, for those of you that don't know, Dannah has Pure Freedom Ministries and this has two parts: True Girl and Born to Be Brave. By the time y'all listen to this, you probably already heard one of my kickoffs because we do one on Sunday night before the whole week and I'll explain it.
But they are our organization that we are supporting through this Summit. So we'll take the profits that we make on anyone that upgrades from free to VIP. If you upgrade to VIP, 5% of our profits will go to this organization. And then some of our speakers—you've probably heard about the ones that have chosen to—if they decide to donate 5% of their commissions, then I will match that 5% as well.
So hopefully, you know, that will be just a little way that y'all can support what Dannah and her team are doing. So I just want to make sure everyone understands that before we get going.
Dannah: What a blessing. Thank you so much.
Dannah's Story: From Teenager to Ministry Leader
Kerry: Well, let's before we start this topic, can you just tell people a little bit about yourself?
Dannah: Sure. Well, I love Jesus first and foremost, and He is the best part of everything about my life. I came to know Him when I was a really little girl through Child Evangelism Fellowship five-day clubs. I just love Child Evangelism Fellowship to this day because I remember that moment when I surrendered my heart and my life to Jesus. So precious.
But fast forward—at the age of 15, I was a teacher for Child Evangelism Fellowship. I was teaching Sunday school in my church to three-year-olds, and I loved the Lord like crazy. But I was in a Christian dating relationship and was blindsided by sexual temptation.
I just thought that was not possible in my life because I loved the Lord so much. And it became this great shame and this great heartache of my life until I was about 26. I just really understood that even though it had been so long since I'd experienced that sin and chosen that sin, I hadn't really received the redemption and the freedom that Christ died to give me.
When I did, my life changed. And I had to get out my megaphone—my proverbial megaphone—and tell teenage girls. And then as I was doing that, ministry just kind of exploded.
I was praying, "Lord, let me graduate to college girls and adult women." And the Lord said, "What about my little women? What about my 10-year-olds and what about my 9-year-olds and what about my 8-year-olds?"
I was like, "Lord, that's really great. Somebody needs to do children's ministry, but what about me graduating from high school girls to the older women?" And He was persistent. The Lord just kept opening doors.
Before we knew it, we really are one of the largest ministries that takes biblical truth to 8 to 12-year-old girls. And now we have boys—we just added them in the last few years—through live events, box subscriptions, Bible studies, online Bible studies, at-home Bible studies with mom. We want to put mom in the driver's seat. We believe that's what God's Word says—that mom and dad belong in the driver's seat of a child's moral development.
Now we fast forward to this year. We live in a time and a day and age when the government and a lot of different political entities believe that parents aren't equipped to make moral decisions about their children. Well, we still believe they are.
And now I understand why the Lord has put us in this critical position. One of the things we've done really well through the years is take whatever the difficult issues of the day are—when we started, that was AIDS—and we look at it through a biblical lens.
Today, that biblical lens that we look through, we're looking at the issue mostly of gender and identity. And when you think about how do we talk to an 8-year-old about that biblically without robbing them of their innocence, and also just the depression and anxiety these kids are at the tip of the spear...
Teens have long been at the tip of the spear, but the enemy has moved the line backward. And now it's those 8 to 12-year-olds that really are having to grapple with things that their little hearts and minds aren't ready for. But we know how to do that in a way that's safe and biblical and most importantly keeps mom and dad in the driver's seat.
The Trends We're Seeing in Gender Identity
Kerry: That is so good. And I know I'm on y'all's True Girl mailing list, and so they have things and I have downloaded a few things just to find out exactly what they are. I'm giving my daughter some of y'all's books as well. I think it's the Lies Young Girls Believe, something like that. I'm not quite sure what it was.
But I do have to tell you, all of a sudden I have one more connection with you because I grew up with Child Evangelism Fellowship and I became a believer at a Good News Club. I started, went to their CEF training as a teenager, and then we did the five-day clubs in Houston. So I was like, oh wow, that's so interesting. Small world.
Dannah: They are a fruitful ministry. Look at us—we're passing, we're the fruit, we're passing on fruit. We're the fruit of their fruit.
Kerry: My parents, they're in their 70s and 80s, and a while back they would lead Good News Clubs in the public school for like five years. They're still going on with it and all. So I love it. It does work.
So okay, so we are in a just a strange time. And if you had asked us 30 years ago, we'd be going, "No way, we wouldn't be dealing with these issues." So what kind of trends are you seeing right now when it comes to gender identity and sexuality?
Dannah: Well, you know, I would say heterosexual is definitely not in style. And what we see is a lot of teens claiming to be pansexual, where they're just willing to erase anything that has a baseline of truth to it and embrace everything. Basically, is what pansexuality is.
A lot of teens in terms of gender are saying they're non-binary. That's just what's in style right now. And you might say, "Well, but there really is a problem. There are some kids that definitely struggle with gender dysphoria."
Absolutely, that's true. Historically, we've known for decades that children—a very, very small percentage of them—are born with things like Klinefelter syndrome, fragile X syndrome. These are syndromes like Down syndrome where there are chromosomal abnormalities in that child's body.
And the parents and the physicians have to work together to decide, how are we going to raise this child? Most cases, they can take a blood test and they can determine this child is clearly male or clearly female. But we have some issues that we're going to have to deal with because of these syndromes.
But in most cases, they can really figure out what's happening there. And so that's the good news. But I think it's an important thing for us that we have to be compassionate because for some people that you meet on the street that you're not quite sure—are they male or female?—that's not a choice. It was something that they were born with. That's very difficult and painful. So we have to be careful.
But on the other end of the spectrum, what we're seeing right now is—well, let me explain it this way. In about the year 2011, there was a shift from transgenderism being predominantly a male problem to now, it is today predominantly female. You see more teenage females transitioning than males.
So the intellectually honest sociologists will say, "What happened to make that really dramatic shift happen?"
And I think probably the person that's been bravest about it is a woman named Abigail Shrier. She's a journalist, not a believer as far as I know, conservative though, and yet very intellectually honest. Some parents kept writing to her and saying, "We need somebody to research this."
And she brought together some of the bravest sociologists, some of the bravest intellectually honest ones. And what they found was clusters of girls transitioning. So in other words, a school district or a school or a city was seeing a lot of girls transitioning, and there were pops of this all over the United States.
Now if this were a more intellectually honest occurrence, you would have seen it happening more evenly over the culture. But that's not the case. What's happening is cluster contagion. And that's what we're calling it now, which basically is peer pressure causing girls to say, "I don't feel comfortable in my body."
Now let me remind you, there aren't very many of us that felt super comfortable in our body in seventh grade. But we weren't having somebody sit there next to us and telling us that might be because you're not really a girl.
So I guess what we're seeing is a lot of confusion. Majority of what we're seeing is mass confusion that we need to prepare our children for and that we need to speak into truthfully. But we can't forget the compassion because there's a sliver of people struggling right now where this really is a deeply painful thing and not something that they chose.
Why This Topic Is Critical Right Now
Kerry: That is something. So I mean, to me it seems pretty obvious, but why do you think this topic is so important right now?
Dannah: Well, it's—let me say, take that from two angles. One reason it's important is because your children are being lied to, and we need to speak truth into their hearts and into their minds. We have to put so much truth into them that there's not room for the world's lies.
When they see or hear a counterfeit, they immediately know, "That's not what I learned from God's Word. That's not what I learned from my parents whom I trust to be true." And they come to you and they say, "Hey, I just heard this." And you help—might not know the answers, but you help them figure out.
But here's why I think it's really important, and this is why it's been important since the beginning of time. In Genesis 1:26 and 27-28, in that chapter we see God saying that He's made us in His image. And then He could have listed almost anything about us that would have made us like Him—our language proficiency, our ability to compose sonnets, our creativity, the fact that we would figure out how to defy gravity and fly to the moon. All these things about us are so God-like. Our even our emotions—animals are emotive, but not to the degree that we are.
And yet God says one thing: "In the image of God He created them, male and female He created them."
Our maleness and our femaleness is a distinct part of representing the image of God on this lost world. That's why it matters more than anything. And that's what our children need to know more than anything.
How Parents Can Communicate God's Truth
Kerry: That is so good. I mean, it really is. We need to—and I love what y'all do is always going back to the Bible, you know. And this is a Christian conference. There's plenty of things out there for parents, but we want to make sure we're always going back to the Bible.
So what are some things that parents could do? Like you want them to—one of the things that I know I've heard you say many times, we need to speak truth to our soul, but first we have to teach our kids what the truth is. How can parents communicate God's truth in regards to gender and sexuality and identity?
Dannah: Well, I obviously encourage them to get them in the Word and some of these key passages that talk about our bodies. And I basically have three key passages that I think our kids need to study about this. I write about them in It's Great to Be a Girl. My husband and one of his co-authors writes about them in It's Great to Be a Guy. That's for kids aged 8 to 12, somewhere in that range.
First one is in the book of 1 Corinthians. It says that our bodies exist to glorify God. That the purpose of our body is to glorify God. You know, we get really sidetracked and we think our bodies are for us to feel good, for us to feel pleasure, for us to look good and be this just vision of beauty or handsomeness, whatever it is.
Our bodies were created to glorify God. That's why they exist—to showcase Him, to give honor to Him. That's why we dress carefully and tastefully and modestly. That's why we use language that's becoming and careful. That's why we don't get into the dark.
I'm always concerned when we get into really dark-looking countenance and clothings and styles because Jesus is light and He is love and He is joy, and we want our countenance to reflect that. But my body doesn't exist for Dannah. My body exists for God.
Then the second thing is the one I just mentioned earlier: Genesis 1:26 and 27, that the purpose of my body—how I glorify God—is as a female or male image-bearer. Because glorifying Him—I like to say that the moon glorifies the sun, okay? The moon doesn't have any light of its own, but it reflects the light of the sun, and that's why we have a full moon. They're so beautiful.
Well, in the same way, we have to look like God. That's what glorifying Him means. And Genesis 1:26-27 says we do that best in the defined roles, the binary roles of maleness and femaleness. So they matter. They're important.
And then the other verse that I think is really important is in Romans 12:1 and 2. It says, "I beg you brothers, by the mercy of God, that you present your body as a living sacrifice."
So when my body, which was created to glorify God, doesn't feel like glorifying God as a female image-bearer of God, it becomes a sacrifice to God because I choose to live sacrificially according to the purpose of my body as a female image-bearer.
Now I don't know that those are the only passages that your children need to get into, but those are three of the big ones that they need to memorize, dissect, be familiar with, understand. And that's going to give them more than studying all the counterfeits. That's going to give them the fuel they need for the conversations that are going to come up in their lives at one point or another.
Age-Appropriate Conversations About Truth
Kerry: That's so good. Because we don't know what's going to happen in 20 years, you know, and what things they're going to need to know.
When you think about even these three passages or talking about truth at different ages, because you've talked about 8 to 12 and then we've got teenagers, would you approach them differently or do you have any suggestions about that?
Dannah: Well, with teens, of course, I'm going to be a lot more forthright. Although more and more—we just had a mom communicate with us that her child is attending a private school, not a Christian school but a private school. And just this year, the daughter came home and said, "Hey, we have Teacher X teaching at our school." And I'm not going to say the name. And it's not Mr. X or Mrs. X, it's Teacher X.
And of course this mom said, "Well, do you know if Teacher X is male or female?" And she kind of said, "Well, this is what I think, but that's probably—they're trying not to look that way." So there's obviously some gender confusion there.
What was really interesting is that when they have a student teacher, this parent had previously gotten a letter that said, "This is the teacher, this is what you need to know about them, I want to introduce them to you, they'll be starting on this date, they'll be ending on this date." In this case, that didn't happen.
So that child is in about fifth grade. So we're not—and I've heard in my own school district of kindergarteners who are being told, "You get to pick your pronoun in my class. Maybe you weren't allowed that opportunity at home, but in my class you get to choose what you are, who you are."
And so more and more we are having to have more of a conversation that we want, especially if we've chosen for our children not to be homeschooled or not to be in a space where their teaching is governed by truth. And that's not you, but it may be your friends, and it may be someone you're conversing with or having coffee with, you know, needs to know—hey, some crazy stuff is happening in some of these schools.
And they don't believe it until it hits them. And then that's how this mom was. She's like, "I heard about it in California and I heard about it in this state and that state, but my state?" Yes, your state.
So I think it's really important that we let them drive the questions though. So at high school we maybe are being, you know, we're talking about transgenderism, we're talking about all the different language that is used—the LGBTQ+, non-binary, binary, pansexuality.
Mom, dad, you got to do some vocabulary work on this one. You've got to know the words, and that's going to help build your credibility. If you have a child who has been exposed, if you don't know a word, just say, "I'm not really sure what pansexuality is. Let's look it up and learn together, and then we're going to go to God's Word and figure out what He says about it."
But when you're under, I would say 12 years old, I would just stick to God's truth. And what you're going to find, and what we have found as we have taken moms and daughters through It's Great to Be a Girl online Bible study or It's Great to Be a Guy online Bible study, is that studying it in the Bible and having mom and dad sitting there talking with you about it brings up the questions.
They'll say, "I heard that so-and-so down the street has two dads," or "I heard that this friend at church has a brother who's becoming a sister." And you have the opportunity then to talk to them about that stuff.
But I really like to let them drive that rather than us introducing things. And there's such a fine line there. And what I want to say is we don't—we have to be very careful about being afraid of the topic of sex because God isn't. He's not afraid of the topic, and we don't need to be afraid of it.
But there are developmental phases where our children are more ready for some of these things than others. And if you can delay some of these conversations until they are developmentally ready, I think that's wise.
The Importance of Reclaiming Biblical Sexuality
Kerry: I think that's really good. And I appreciate you saying that we need to talk to them about sexuality more than just what sex is or how do we have kids, that type of thing. Because I know I heard on one of y'all's podcasts, you know, if we don't reclaim the sexuality and what's going on, the world is going to take over, which is what it's doing. And the church really does need to understand it. And if moms and dads don't, they need to do some research and stuff.
Dannah: Well, and Ephesians 5:31 and 32 says, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." And then it's almost like the Apostle Paul has ADHD or something. Because it's like he changes the subject. He says, "I'm really talking about Christ and the church."
And this verse probably more than any other in Scripture tells us that marriage is meant to be a picture of the love Christ has for His bride, the church. But you can see that taught from Genesis to Revelation. It's a very important picture in the body of Christ.
And if we do not wake up to really protect and defend that picture, we're going to wake up one day to see the gospel completely marginalized—not just marriage, but the gospel.
And I guess my question for all of us is: if sex and marriage really does represent the love of Christ, the gospel, how motivated is Satan to see that picture destroyed in our lives, in the lives of our children? We have to be vigilant. We have to be informed. And we have to be so full of grace for those moments when we mess up or our kids mess up.
Navigating With Grace and Compassion
Kerry: Yeah. And I think you just said that—I was coughing—grace and patience. Because you're talking about having compassion for these people that are really dealing with issues. And I think sometimes the church gets so, "Oh my goodness, look at them, they have children that are homosexuals or whatever."
And yet we—I mean, no, we don't tolerate—I mean there's a blend between tolerating, but we also need to show grace at times because the compassion of God is what draws people back. The kindness and stuff. Would you have anything to say about sort of where you draw the line? And not that we want to judge people, but we do want to come alongside.
So we've got moms here that want to help with their kids, but then they may have people in their family or in their church or something. What are maybe some practical things that they could do to handle these situations?
Dannah: Well, some practical things are teaching our kids grace. Teaching them a gracious response.
Bob and I, my husband and I, discipled a young man for many years who is non-binary now. Young adult man. And we still will have lunch with him. He doesn't live locally, but when he's coming through, he still wants to visit with us and talk with us.
I got a birthday text from him that said, "You're like my second mom," because we have blessed him with our love and our presence, which is genuine. It's not fake. We adore him. He is easy to talk to, intelligent. We had so many high hopes for how he would—and still do—influence people for Christ.
But we do not—we accept, but we do not affirm. We accept, but we do not affirm.
So he knows—one of the last big conversations we had about his journey into homosexuality and a non-binary lifestyle was very pointed where my husband said, "I believe you've been set apart, and I believe that you have different desires, and that you have to obey the Lord with Romans 12:1 and 2. You need to sacrifice your desires for the purpose of your body glorifying Christ."
And it was a very pointed conversation. And we haven't talked about that since then, but he knows where we stand.
So we're honest, you know. One of the things that's really a challenge right now is the question of pronouns, right? Do we use the pronouns or do we not use the pronouns?
And with this individual, I avoid using pronouns because the pronouns he wants are "they" and "them." I will not do that because God's Word commands me not to lie, and it's not truthful. However, I'm not going to rub salt in a wound of all the struggles that he's walking through.
So I do my best to navigate through just not using either his new name that he wants or the pronouns. He knows that's what I'm doing.
I know another woman who—she did transition for nine years. She had her breasts cut off, she had hormones, she was bearded, she was talking like a guy, she lived as Jake for nine years. Her name was Laura.
Her mom stayed on her knees, stayed in a prodigal prayer group. And when it came to the name—she wanted to be called Jake—her mom said, "I can't call you that, but I know it's going to offend you. Can I call you honey? I'll do that."
And it was a compromise they made together. So you see, accepting but not affirming is a really important line we have to make.
Because this is the question that Rosaria Butterfield asked in a recent book that she's written. I believe the title is Five Lies of Our Post-Christian Culture. But she says, "Is your church, is your home, is your family a safe place for someone to repent of their sin of homosexuality or gender—" I'm not going to call it confusion, but rebellion. Okay?
Because gender confusion, I would say, is probably going back to some of those syndromes I'm talking about, right? You're going to feel some confusion when you're not quite sure how your body is showing up, right?
But gender rebellion, I would say, is what my friend Laura went through. She knew she was a girl, but she wanted to stick it to her mom and stick it to God. And she did for nine years. And then the Lord got a hold of her heart.
But partly, I think the Lord got a hold of her heart because her mom never accepted Jake, never accepted the lie, never used the pronouns. And yet she still loved and accepted the child.
Kerry: Fine line.
Dannah: So good.
The Reality of Dealing With These Issues
Kerry: Yeah, we've got to love. And I, for one, I mean, these aren't just teenagers. You know, I had friends whose kids have transitioned, and the parents, the mom and the dad don't even agree on the pronoun issue, you know. And that's a really hard thing.
What I really like about what you just said is she communicated with her daughter and they talked about it instead of just doing this and then, you know, that child getting angry and then blocking them out of your life kind of thing. And so communication just seems to be vital as well, even if they're going down that path.
Dannah: Yeah, so communication before and after is key. And it's not easy. It's hard. And there'll be tears on both sides and disagreements. But you want to walk through it in such a way that you maintain a place where they know what the truth is and they know where to come when they finally do understand what the truth is.
Kerry: Yeah, I always tell—because I host a prodigal prayer group too—and the two things I'm always like, we can always love and we can always pray. You know, we cannot change them, but we can pray and we can never give up. You know, God's not giving up on us, so we shouldn't be giving up on our kids or other family.
Dannah: Yeah. And you know, when it comes to praying, I find that people that I love that aren't walking with the Lord—they might be offended if I start asking them, "Who do you think Jesus is?" But they're never offended when I say, "How can I pray for you?"
They might define it differently, but it keeps that door open of them knowing, "I care about your spirit. I care about your spiritual life. I care about you." They know that praying is important to me.
And when I just say, "How can I pray for you?" their hearts often just flood open with things that they want prayer for.
How Did We Get Here?
Kerry: That's a really good point too. Okay, let's—how have we talked about all this? How do we get where we are today? Because, you know, like we said, 30 years ago we would have never thought—yeah, you know, there was homosexuality back then, but that was pretty much it. How do we get here?
Dannah: Oh, I think that it's how we got here is, you know, we were an Augustinian worldview. The United States of America had this worldview that was predominantly established by Augustine, St. Augustine of Hippo. He believed that love was the highest good in humanity and that that love should be reflective of the truth of the Bible.
And that really was the worldview of our culture. And that meant that there was one man and one woman marriage.
And then when it really started to break down, honestly, was Freud, who felt that the highest good was sex. He thought that that was the highest need in a human body. And so the conversation started to change as Freud, who did bring us some decent diagnostic tools in terms of understanding and being more aware of our emotions and our mental health—but psychology doesn't do anything, really, if you look at the stats of recovery from psychological methods. Hardly anything outside of Jesus.
I mean, single-digit recovery. In my mind, if I'm having some mental health problems, I don't want to go to a place that can give me a single-digit percentage chance of getting better.
But then enter Alfred Kinsey. Alfred Kinsey came into the scene, and he was a very unwell man emotionally and mentally. And so he was really excited about the things that Freud taught and believed that he could prove that not only was his theory correct—that our highest need was sex—but that most of the sexual things that these prudish Americans thought were, quote-unquote, sinful were actually very normal behavior. Things like homosexuality and even pedophilia.
And he said, "I'm going to prove that those are okay." So he did the Human Sexuality Volume 1 and Volume 2 reports. And his research was really horrific. He hired pedophiles who had been jailed for pedophilia to conduct experiments on children.
And it was really child sexual abuse that was recorded in those volumes. But nobody talked about that. Nobody said who did the research and how did you get it done. At that time, it just became the playbook for the sexual revolution of the '60s.
But they said, "Look, look, we do want sex. We do need sex." And then the sexual revolution—during that time, a virgin in college named Hugh Hefner read those volumes that Kinsey wrote and said—and this is a quote—"I'm going to be Kinsey's pamphleteer."
And as you know, then he went on to create his pamphlet, which was Playboy, normalizing objectifying women. I'm not going to call it anything other than what it is.
And so it was this—it was a lie we all wanted to believe. Not me, not you, but the culture wanted to believe because it justified their sin and their desires instead of controlling them. They could justify those sins and desires.
And I think when we had about a 30-year climb to making gay marriage legal, but that was kind of a floodgate moment. You know, I feel like from the night that the White House was covered in rainbow colors until today, it's just been a floodgate of Sodom and Gomorrah-esque sin.
And whereas it was this slow, steady climb for decades, now it's just a playground.
Signs of Hope and Backlash
Dannah: Now, I am thankful that we're seeing some—I guess what I would call backlash against some of this. In Canada, this year—last year, rather—we saw the first case where a patient who underwent transgender gender reassignment surgery is suing the physician for what happened to her body.
Because she said, "I came to you with a mental health problem, and when I was very mentally unwell, you told me the solution was to cut up my body." And she's suing that doctor.
Tavistock, which is a gender assignment clinic in the UK, has been shut down because so many of the doctors and nurses are saying, "You only saw these patients two or three times before you let them self-diagnose that they were gender-confused and began treating them." And the doctors and nurses said, "That's not okay. We didn't adequately find out if they really did have gender dysphoria. We're just letting them self-assign."
And that's still happening in the United States. But because Canada and the UK are ahead of us, I'm encouraged that we're going to start to see backlash very soon.
So don't stop using the correct pronouns. Don't stop calling girls "she" and "her," and don't stop calling boys "him" and "his." Like, we are not crazy. We just feel crazy because the conversation happening in our culture is a little mad.
But we are going to start to see a backlash in the next five to 10 years.
Kerry: It sounds depressing, but it is encouraging.
Dannah: And our hope is in Jesus, who we know can—always, just like I didn't think the education system could ever get fixed, and then COVID hit. And I was like, "Oh my goodness, look, God can do something when it looks like everything's falling apart."
He can do the same thing with the gender and sexuality issues. And—excuse me—and even our hope isn't even in this world. I just have to say that. Like, more and more, as it gets crazier and crazier, it makes me hungrier for heaven and the new heaven and earth that we will know after Jesus' return.
And for anybody, you know, who maybe you're listening to this and you're the one that cut up your body, you allowed that to happen—you know, when Jesus returns, the new heaven and the new earth, He's going to perfect you and receive you as He created you and fix everything that this world can't fix. And there is such hope in that.
Kerry: That is so good. Thank you so much. And yes, He can. And He redeems ashes to beauty all the time. So amen.
So I know y'all have some resources that I think would be helpful. Could you share a little bit about that?
Resources to Help Families
Dannah: Sure. Well, I mentioned It's Great to Be a Girl and It's Great to Be a Guy. Those are two books that we take parents and kids through an online study on, but you could do it at home. You can do it as part of a homeschool curriculum.
Another book that I have is Lies Girls Believe and A Mom's Guide to Lies Girls Believe. Those go together because I think this extends beyond gender. It's a battle for truth.
And the interesting thing about truth is that we know Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life." He was truth. So this whole conversation is an assault on Him.
And so that book, and Lies Young Women Believe, introduced teen girls and tween girls to really studying: What is truth? What does it mean? And how do I figure out when I'm believing a lie? And what God's Word says about it, and what is true?
So I would say those are really important books. We're working on Lies Young Men Believe, but we also—my friend Aaron Davis just wrote Lies Boys Believe. So good tools.
We've had lots of friends tell us they've used them as homeschool curriculum. And I would love to see you explore them. They are great. They really are.
Kerry: I have—well, I've done Lies Women Believe. And then I will say, too, for those of you—this probably doesn't pertain to a lot of you—but they have them in Spanish. I used to work in El Salvador and go down there once a month and work with a school down there. And we started with Lies Women Believe, but they had a teen girl Bible study, so then they did the Lies Young Women Believe.
I don't know if they've done the girl, but when I was looking at your site, I was like, "Oh, they have Spanish books too." So if y'all are in another country, just know that there are resources for you there as well.
Dannah: So wonderful.
Closing Encouragement
Kerry: Well, as we close, is there anything you would like to say just in closing?
Dannah: Just I think it's so important right now that we are just so deeply in love with Jesus. It's one thing to know all these things in our head, right? But until it gets here...
The reason we have prodigals prodigalizing and the reason we have deconstructors deconstructing is because there was a lot here, but we didn't quite maybe get it here. And so what I'm learning is that I can't push it here in the kids I'm teaching, but I can do what I need to do to sit at the feet of Jesus and minister to Him in worship, in prayer, and opening the Word.
I don't want to just know the facts of what I read in my Bible this morning. I want to know that I had an encounter with Jesus.
So my prayer for you is not just that you would know the facts about all these hard conversations that we're having to have right now, but that more than anything else, you would be so in love with Jesus that your heart beats to reflect His image.
And so I pray that for you, and I pray that for your children too.
Kerry: Oh, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Thanks for just taking a little time out of your day to be with us. I really appreciate it.
Dannah: Oh, it was so good to be here, Kerry. Thank you. God bless you. I pray that you're so blessed by this conference.
Kerry: Very good. Well, I am Kerry Beck with Life Skills Leadership Summit. We'll talk to you next time.

Tired of the lies playing on repeat in your mind? Feeling like a fraud, rejected, or not good enough—even when you're managing everything? In this vulnerable episode, we're exploring how to speak the truth over yourself and your children, exchanging lies for God's identity and calling for your life.
Kerry shares her deeply personal story of walking through rejection and discovering that speaking the truth out loud daily—not just thinking it—is what transforms your mind and breaks the power of lies.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
✅Why we must speak the truth out loud (not just think positive thoughts) to renew our minds
✅The white stone with a new name in Revelation 2:17 and what it means for your identity
✅The two questions that replace "Why, God?" and actually move you forward
✅Kerry's story: learning to speak the truth as a warrior on her knees after 31 years of marriage ended
✅How to help your kids speak the truth over the lies they believe about themselves
Ready to start your identity exchange?
Download the FREE Biblical Truths Printable mentioned in this episode—sample truths Kerry speaks over herself daily plus a blank page for your own.
Grab your copy of Jamie Winship's book Living Fearless!
Podcast: Stop Negative Thinking for You & Your Kids
Show Notes:
Hey everyone, Kerry Beck here with Homeschool Coffee Break, where we help you stop the overwhelm so you can actually take a coffee break.
We talked last week about lies in our head and lies that our kids believe. This week, we're going to get to the hopeful part. That may have been a little depressing. We're going to get to the hopeful part. We're going to come talk to God about what our identity is in Him, what His calling is for us, and how we can replace those lies.
Jamie Winship calls it identity exchange. We are going to exchange those lies for truth.
Learning from Living Fearless
What I'm sharing are things that I have learned from a man named Jamie Winship. He's written a book called Living Fearless. You can get the link to it in the show notes, and I highly recommend it. A few years ago, I bought a copy for every one of my children, and for my parents and my sister as well, because it had such a huge impact on us.
We're going to talk today about how God actually gives you a new name, a true identity, and how to listen for it, how to find out what it is. We're going to start with Revelation 2. This is where Jesus is writing to the different churches, and he's written to a church called Pergamum. He says, you have remained true to my name, to God's name. You did not renounce your faith in me. And that was a good thing.
But at the end of his letter, he has this to say in Revelation 2:17: Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what He is saying to the churches. To everyone who is victorious, I will give some of the manna that has been hidden away up in heaven. I will give to each of you a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a new name that no one understands, except the one who receives it.
You may be going, what is this white stone he's talking about? And how do we get a new name? Because that new name has something to do with your identity. Well, in ancient Greece, the jury members would give a white stone if they were going to acquit the man. They would give a black stone if the defendant was guilty. In ancient Rome, they had a custom of awarding white stones to the winner of athletic events, and their name was written on that stone.
We want to talk about that new name, because we walk in newness of life. We walk in a new covenant. We're going to put away our sins. We're going to leave our past in the past, and we are going to walk in newness of life. That's what I want for you, Mom. That's what I want for your children as well.
Can You Really Hear from God?
If you've ever wondered, can I really hear God about my identity? How do I know? Sometimes we don't truly believe God and what He is saying. We say He can do the impossible, but we don't really think it for us.
Let me share a couple stories that Jamie Winship shares. He met a man in Washington, D.C. who had been working with Congress, and this man comes up to him, like a bodybuilder, very well-built, very healthy. And he says, how can I know if I can really hear from God? And he said, well, you can come with me to a mission, because Jamie Winship had worked with the CIA over in the Middle East for decades, and he was now helping Congress with some things about working with conflict.
He and this Jason Bourne dude and a Navy guy, they all got dropped off in Northern Africa, pitch dark. They get there, they're staying in tents, their host would fix their meals, and they would fix 4 plates. And the Jason Bourne guy would go, why is there someone else? Why do they keep fixing 4? There's only three of us.
Eventually, after a few days, he says, well, go ask them. Since this guy could speak that language, he says, why do you have four plates? Well, it's for your security detail. He's like, what are you talking about? Well, long story short, they're like, the guy that's guarding y'all outside. And he's like, what does he look like? He's the big, bulky guy that's protecting you. And what is he? He has a sword.
Come to find out, they could see this angel of God that was protecting Jamie and this Jason Bourne guy and the other guy from enemy attack, and he had a sword. Muslims believe in visions like that. They believe these things. They believe you can hear from the gods. And they could see this angel, even though Jamie and Jason Bourne person couldn't.
But when he heard that, Jason Bourne is like, okay, how do I hear God? I want to know. How do I hear God? And basically, Jamie says, what about your situation? He's like, why can't we have kids? And he says, you're asking the wrong question. And for some of you, you're asking the wrong question when it comes to the problems in your life, your identity. You're saying, why, why, why? That is the wrong question.
Here are the two questions that Jamie suggests. We need to say, God, what do you want me to know, God? What do you want me to do? And that was a question that I actually wrestled with. This morning, again, on my walk, I was gonna go right into prayer. I'm like, no, I need to listen to God.
A lot of believers, we all believe, yes, God's powerful, we've seen Him do miracles, all this stuff, but we don't really believe that we can hear from God. And if we don't believe that, we believe in a weak God. I do believe that I can hear from God. We believe in a God that can do it for everyone else, but not for us. Or that He will do miracles, but I don't know about for us.
Well, that is not total faith. Total faith is believing that God can do miracles. And we need to let God tell us what He is doing, instead of our past dictating what we do. Instead of our failures dictating what we do. Instead of our fears. Do you have fears about homeschooling? Or raising kids? You see, this is what leads to bad identity, to the lies that we talked about.
But when you live from what God says you are, you are going to become more creative, more resilient, you're going to have more peace, even in the hard circumstances. I am a product of that as well. You see, you may be great at multitasking, teaching, managing your home, but you still feel like a fraud.
Identity Exchange is going to God and letting him rename you. Like that white stone with a new name.
The Story of Hamza
There was a young man in the Middle East that Jamie ran across. I actually shared this story at Homeschool Superheroes about 3 or 4 years ago, and in the chat, people are like, is this for real? Is this a real story? Is she really telling the truth? And yes, it is real, and you can read about it or listen to it when Jamie tells that story. But there was a man named Hamza.
He had found a Bible at a hotel, and somehow he connected with Jamie, and he's like, who is this man? And they go, well, do you want to hear from him? Or do you want us to tell you about him? I want to hear from him, talking about Jesus, because he had read parts of the New Testament.
They got together, and they didn't tell him what they knew about Jesus. They were like, we're gonna let God speak. And what they did was they prayed and said, okay, God, Hamza really wants to hear from you. Would you please speak your truth to Him and let him hear that?
Would that be a scary prayer? In the United States, we don't pray that. You know why? We're afraid God's not going to show up. We're afraid God's not going to show up for me, for our friends, for our own children. We're afraid he's not going to speak.
Well, they weren't afraid, and God has shown up over and over. I've heard many stories that He has shared of Him speaking, and Hamza heard, and he began to grow in his new identity in Jesus Christ. He has walked through so many hardships. His family tried to kill him several times, like, throw him off a cliff, shoot him with a gun, and somehow he's made it through all of this because he walks in his identity of Christ, and what God spoke to him.
His hardships and fear began to change as he learned to listen to God's voice and receive that new identity of who He is in Christ Jesus. This has opened doors to things he would never imagine, and it can be the same with you in your homeschool. If God can reach a young man, a Muslim man, being killed by his family because he has faith in Jesus, and even more dangerous situations, he can speak to you, tired homeschool mom, in your minivan, or at the kitchen table.
My Story of Identity Exchange
I know from experience that God has spoken to me. I don't know how many of you know my story, but about nine and a half years ago, my husband left. We'd been married for 31 years. I'd be a very rich person if I had money from all my friends that looked at me and went, you and Steve? No, that's not true. Because they'd seen a marriage that seemed to be working.
But I felt, when I found out he was leaving, totally rejected. I'd never felt depression before. I felt hopeless. And I could have walked in those lies. I probably did for a while. My friend says, Kerry, you were walking in PTSD for a few years. That's probably true.
But I began praying for him all the time. I pray for him every single day. Sometimes it's a quick prayer, sometimes it's prayers of tears, but it is a prayer for his soul. His soul needs to go back to accepting the redemption that He has through Jesus Christ. I also pray for reconciliation for our marriage and our family. And there are people that are like, just get over it and move on, and go find someone else. No.
I made a covenant with God, a three-way covenant. Not a contract, where if he does something wrong, it's broken, go off and do whatever. A covenant. God's never broken His covenant with Israel. He's remained faithful, even through discipline. And I decided that is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna remain faithful to our covenant. God and I are still waiting for Steve's return.
The question isn't why, God? Why is this happening? It's, God, what do you want me to know? What do you want me to do about this? And then let God work in and through me through the Holy Spirit. You see, I need to focus on me growing with God, and I'll let God deal with Steve. I believe He is faithful to the promises He's made, Steve and me. God says, I will never leave you or abandon you. I will work on you until the day of Christ Jesus.
Over time, I've learned who I am. What is my identity? And it's not the same as for you, but I will share mine. I believe I'm a warrior, a warrior on her knees, a teacher. A teacher of women and kids, both online and in person. An encourager. I never wanted to be a counselor. That's the thing I ever wanted to do. But God has used me to counsel kids and women. And I've pressed into that. And I'm a networker. I'm an organizer networker, trying to pull people together, trying to get things, not programs, but relationships. That's where it's all about, a networker of relationships.
You need to know your identity comes first, and then the outcome. I am a prayer warrior for Steve and for our family on my knees pretty every day. Again, sometimes there are quick prayers, but a lot of times, when I go for a walk, that's my prayer time. When I sit at the kitchen table, that's my prayer and Bible time. That is who God made me, a warrior of people's souls. A warrior that fights and contends for people's souls, starting with my own marriage and husband, and family, kids, and grandkids.
We haven't seen reconciliation, but I know God is good, I know God loves Steve, and He is still working, and I totally believe that He is reconciling our marriage. In the middle of my pain, it wasn't why God. Well, yeah, I had asked that, honestly. Why is this happening to me? It's not supposed to be like this.
But I have learned it's more important for me to keep my eyes upward and my faith in Jesus. Because this world is passing away, and there is nothing that I need to do. I need to change my identity and not believe the lies that I was a terrible wife or a terrible mom. I've been rejected multiple times since Steve left by him, neighbors, church, family members, and it hurts.
But I keep going back to God, because He's the one that's going to move me forward. I can't change people. I can just deal with myself. And He will meet me in the messiness of my broken marriage, my sleeping marriage, my destroyed marriage. He will meet you in your homeschool. He will meet you in your family, in your home, in your marriage, and in your heart.
Simple Steps to Get Unstuck
There are two key questions you need to be asking yourself. Not why, although you can ask why. I'm not expecting to, well, I do, I'll be honest, the reason why is so I would trust Him, and I would grow closer to Him. I would never wish my life on anyone. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. Because I am closer to God than I have ever been.
So, God, what do you want me to do about this situation, your situation? God, what do you want me to know, and then what do you want me to do?
Your child melts down over math. The old question is, why is this always happening? What is wrong with us? The new question is, God, what do you want me to know about my child? What do you want me to do? Comfort? Pause, change the approach, stop doing math. I did that for a whole year, actually, when I had a child that wasn't doing well with math, and had a bad attitude about it.
Maybe skip it first. You're a gentle shepherd, not a drill sergeant. Then speak that truth out loud. Start acting as a gentle shepherd and not that frazzled failure. Just like I did.
What I want you to do is I want you to look at the lies, pick one, and write a truth, hopefully a Bible verse that will go along with that truth. And then once you've wrestled through this, work with each of your children. What is the lie they are believing? I can't do it. I'm not smart enough. I need this, or I need that. I don't want this, I don't want that. Blaming people, whatever the lie is.
Do it with your kids as well, and write a truth down, and say it out loud. Here are the simple steps so that you can get unstuck with the lies that you're believing. Number one, name one lie. That was last week's episode. Ask the two questions. What, God, do you want me to know about this? What do you want me to do about this?
Then, I want you to find a truth and write it down, and put it somewhere that you're going to see it every single day. Kitchen sink, I have some in the bathroom window, I actually have some in the kitchen sink, I have some in my car. So I have different truths that I will see at different times of my day. And then I want you to say it aloud every single day.
Do this with your kids, maybe at the breakfast table. They read out loud that Bible verse or that truth about themselves, maybe at their desk, if they have a desk, and they are going to read that out loud as well, before they get started on their homeschool.
Speak the Truth Over Your Life
If you want more ideas, you can get Jamie's book, Living Fearless, that'll be in the show notes. If you want these free things here that I have, I'm going to read these in a second, then you can get those, the link is in the show notes as well. It's just a printable, and there is a page for you to write your own truth. You don't need mine, but mine can be just sort of a sample.
And I'll close with this. Like Jesus, I am chosen by God to be holy. I am chosen by God for great honor. I trust in Jesus, therefore I am not put to shame. God loves me and always takes care of me.
I am precious to God, because He bought me with Jesus' blood. I am a daughter of the king, a princess. I live in the light shining for Jesus all day long. I control my thoughts, my words, my food, my drink.
I receive God's mercy and grace, so I give grace, mercy, and forgiveness to others. I lead my case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. I speak with words. I speak with pure and reverent behavior, and with a gentle and quiet spirit. I wait quietly on God.
Some things I have to really work on, and when I'm really struggling with a lie at that time, I may just pull that one out and say it every day, sometimes multiple times. I am patient. I am kind. I always forgive. I forget offenses against me. And some of you are like, I can't forget that. Well, you know what? If I have the Holy Spirit inside of me, I have the power that God has inside of me, and I can overcome, and God can take those thoughts away. He takes other thoughts away that I forget. Surely He can take those offenses, and I forget them.
The Holy Spirit renews my mind and attitudes every day. God never leaves me, never abandons me, never fails me. I listen well. I trust in God to fight my battles. He wins my battles.
Thanks for spending time with me. If any of this hits home, please share this with just one friend, maybe another homeschool mom, that this might encourage. That would mean the world to me. I'm Kerry Beck with Homeschool Coffee Break. We'll talk to you next time.