Homeschool Coffee Break

Tired of the lies playing on repeat in your mind? Feeling like a fraud, rejected, or not good enough—even when you're managing everything? In this vulnerable episode, we're exploring how to speak the truth over yourself and your children, exchanging lies for God's identity and calling for your life.Kerry shares her deeply personal story of walking through rejection and discovering that speaking the truth out loud daily—not just thinking it—is what transforms your mind and breaks the power of lies.What you’ll learn in this episode:✅Why we must speak the truth out loud (not just think positive thoughts) to renew our minds✅The white stone with a new name in Revelation 2:17 and what it means for your identity✅The two questions that replace "Why, God?" and actually move you forward✅Kerry's story: learning to speak the truth as a warrior on her knees after 31 years of marriage ended✅How to help your kids speak the truth over the lies they believe about themselvesReady to start your identity exchange? Download the FREE Biblical Truths Printable mentioned in this episode—sample truths Kerry speaks over herself daily plus a blank page for your own. Grab your copy of Jamie Winship's book Living Fearless! Podcast: Stop Negative Thinking for You & Your KidsShow Notes: Hey everyone, Kerry Beck here with Homeschool Coffee Break, where we help you stop the overwhelm so you can actually take a coffee break.We talked last week about lies in our head and lies that our kids believe. This week, we're going to get to the hopeful part. That may have been a little depressing. We're going to get to the hopeful part. We're going to come talk to God about what our identity is in Him, what His calling is for us, and how we can replace those lies.Jamie Winship calls it identity exchange. We are going to exchange those lies for truth.Learning from Living FearlessWhat I'm sharing are things that I have learned from a man named Jamie Winship. He's written a book called Living Fearless. You can get the link to it in the show notes, and I highly recommend it. A few years ago, I bought a copy for every one of my children, and for my parents and my sister as well, because it had such a huge impact on us.We're going to talk today about how God actually gives you a new name, a true identity, and how to listen for it, how to find out what it is. We're going to start with Revelation 2. This is where Jesus is writing to the different churches, and he's written to a church called Pergamum. He says, you have remained true to my name, to God's name. You did not renounce your faith in me. And that was a good thing.But at the end of his letter, he has this to say in Revelation 2:17: Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what He is saying to the churches. To everyone who is victorious, I will give some of the manna that has been hidden away up in heaven. I will give to each of you a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a new name that no one understands, except the one who receives it.You may be going, what is this white stone he's talking about? And how do we get a new name? Because that new name has something to do with your identity. Well, in ancient Greece, the jury members would give a white stone if they were going to acquit the man. They would give a black stone if the defendant was guilty. In ancient Rome, they had a custom of awarding white stones to the winner of athletic events, and their name was written on that stone.We want to talk about that new name, because we walk in newness of life. We walk in a new covenant. We're going to put away our sins. We're going to leave our past in the past, and we are going to walk in newness of life. That's what I want for you, Mom. That's what I want for your children as well.Can You Really Hear from God?If you've ever wondered, can I really hear God about my identity? How do I know? Sometimes we don't truly believe God and what He is saying. We say He can do the impossible, but we don't really think it for us.Let me share a couple stories that Jamie Winship shares. He met a man in Washington, D.C. who had been working with Congress, and this man comes up to him, like a bodybuilder, very well-built, very healthy. And he says, how can I know if I can really hear from God? And he said, well, you can come with me to a mission, because Jamie Winship had worked with the CIA over in the Middle East for decades, and he was now helping Congress with some things about working with conflict.He and this Jason Bourne dude and a Navy guy, they all got dropped off in Northern Africa, pitch dark. They get there, they're staying in tents, their host would fix their meals, and they would fix 4 plates. And the Jason Bourne guy would go, why is there someone else? Why do they keep fixing 4? There's only three of us.Eventually, after a few days, he says, well, go ask them. Since this guy could speak that language, he says, why do you have four plates? Well, it's for your security detail. He's like, what are you talking about? Well, long story short, they're like, the guy that's guarding y'all outside. And he's like, what does he look like? He's the big, bulky guy that's protecting you. And what is he? He has a sword.Come to find out, they could see this angel of God that was protecting Jamie and this Jason Bourne guy and the other guy from enemy attack, and he had a sword. Muslims believe in visions like that. They believe these things. They believe you can hear from the gods. And they could see this angel, even though Jamie and Jason Bourne person couldn't.But when he heard that, Jason Bourne is like, okay, how do I hear God? I want to know. How do I hear God? And basically, Jamie says, what about your situation? He's like, why can't we have kids? And he says, you're asking the wrong question. And for some of you, you're asking the wrong question when it comes to the problems in your life, your identity. You're saying, why, why, why? That is the wrong question.Here are the two questions that Jamie suggests. We need to say, God, what do you want me to know, God? What do you want me to do? And that was a question that I actually wrestled with. This morning, again, on my walk, I was gonna go right into prayer. I'm like, no, I need to listen to God.A lot of believers, we all believe, yes, God's powerful, we've seen Him do miracles, all this stuff, but we don't really believe that we can hear from God. And if we don't believe that, we believe in a weak God. I do believe that I can hear from God. We believe in a God that can do it for everyone else, but not for us. Or that He will do miracles, but I don't know about for us.Well, that is not total faith. Total faith is believing that God can do miracles. And we need to let God tell us what He is doing, instead of our past dictating what we do. Instead of our failures dictating what we do. Instead of our fears. Do you have fears about homeschooling? Or raising kids? You see, this is what leads to bad identity, to the lies that we talked about.But when you live from what God says you are, you are going to become more creative, more resilient, you're going to have more peace, even in the hard circumstances. I am a product of that as well. You see, you may be great at multitasking, teaching, managing your home, but you still feel like a fraud.Identity Exchange is going to God and letting him rename you. Like that white stone with a new name.The Story of HamzaThere was a young man in the Middle East that Jamie ran across. I actually shared this story at Homeschool Superheroes about 3 or 4 years ago, and in the chat, people are like, is this for real? Is this a real story? Is she really telling the truth? And yes, it is real, and you can read about it or listen to it when Jamie tells that story. But there was a man named Hamza.He had found a Bible at a hotel, and somehow he connected with Jamie, and he's like, who is this man? And they go, well, do you want to hear from him? Or do you want us to tell you about him? I want to hear from him, talking about Jesus, because he had read parts of the New Testament.They got together, and they didn't tell him what they knew about Jesus. They were like, we're gonna let God speak. And what they did was they prayed and said, okay, God, Hamza really wants to hear from you. Would you please speak your truth to Him and let him hear that?Would that be a scary prayer? In the United States, we don't pray that. You know why? We're afraid God's not going to show up. We're afraid God's not going to show up for me, for our friends, for our own children. We're afraid he's not going to speak.Well, they weren't afraid, and God has shown up over and over. I've heard many stories that He has shared of Him speaking, and Hamza heard, and he began to grow in his new identity in Jesus Christ. He has walked through so many hardships. His family tried to kill him several times, like, throw him off a cliff, shoot him with a gun, and somehow he's made it through all of this because he walks in his identity of Christ, and what God spoke to him.His hardships and fear began to change as he learned to listen to God's voice and receive that new identity of who He is in Christ Jesus. This has opened doors to things he would never imagine, and it can be the same with you in your homeschool. If God can reach a young man, a Muslim man, being killed by his family because he has faith in Jesus, and even more dangerous situations, he can speak to you, tired homeschool mom, in your minivan, or at the kitchen table.My Story of Identity ExchangeI know from experience that God has spoken to me. I don't know how many of you know my story, but about nine and a half years ago, my husband left. We'd been married for 31 years. I'd be a very rich person if I had money from all my friends that looked at me and went, you and Steve? No, that's not true. Because they'd seen a marriage that seemed to be working.But I felt, when I found out he was leaving, totally rejected. I'd never felt depression before. I felt hopeless. And I could have walked in those lies. I probably did for a while. My friend says, Kerry, you were walking in PTSD for a few years. That's probably true.But I began praying for him all the time. I pray for him every single day. Sometimes it's a quick prayer, sometimes it's prayers of tears, but it is a prayer for his soul. His soul needs to go back to accepting the redemption that He has through Jesus Christ. I also pray for reconciliation for our marriage and our family. And there are people that are like, just get over it and move on, and go find someone else. No.I made a covenant with God, a three-way covenant. Not a contract, where if he does something wrong, it's broken, go off and do whatever. A covenant. God's never broken His covenant with Israel. He's remained faithful, even through discipline. And I decided that is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna remain faithful to our covenant. God and I are still waiting for Steve's return.The question isn't why, God? Why is this happening? It's, God, what do you want me to know? What do you want me to do about this? And then let God work in and through me through the Holy Spirit. You see, I need to focus on me growing with God, and I'll let God deal with Steve. I believe He is faithful to the promises He's made, Steve and me. God says, I will never leave you or abandon you. I will work on you until the day of Christ Jesus.Over time, I've learned who I am. What is my identity? And it's not the same as for you, but I will share mine. I believe I'm a warrior, a warrior on her knees, a teacher. A teacher of women and kids, both online and in person. An encourager. I never wanted to be a counselor. That's the thing I ever wanted to do. But God has used me to counsel kids and women. And I've pressed into that. And I'm a networker. I'm an organizer networker, trying to pull people together, trying to get things, not programs, but relationships. That's where it's all about, a networker of relationships.You need to know your identity comes first, and then the outcome. I am a prayer warrior for Steve and for our family on my knees pretty every day. Again, sometimes there are quick prayers, but a lot of times, when I go for a walk, that's my prayer time. When I sit at the kitchen table, that's my prayer and Bible time. That is who God made me, a warrior of people's souls. A warrior that fights and contends for people's souls, starting with my own marriage and husband, and family, kids, and grandkids.We haven't seen reconciliation, but I know God is good, I know God loves Steve, and He is still working, and I totally believe that He is reconciling our marriage. In the middle of my pain, it wasn't why God. Well, yeah, I had asked that, honestly. Why is this happening to me? It's not supposed to be like this.But I have learned it's more important for me to keep my eyes upward and my faith in Jesus. Because this world is passing away, and there is nothing that I need to do. I need to change my identity and not believe the lies that I was a terrible wife or a terrible mom. I've been rejected multiple times since Steve left by him, neighbors, church, family members, and it hurts.But I keep going back to God, because He's the one that's going to move me forward. I can't change people. I can just deal with myself. And He will meet me in the messiness of my broken marriage, my sleeping marriage, my destroyed marriage. He will meet you in your homeschool. He will meet you in your family, in your home, in your marriage, and in your heart.Simple Steps to Get UnstuckThere are two key questions you need to be asking yourself. Not why, although you can ask why. I'm not expecting to, well, I do, I'll be honest, the reason why is so I would trust Him, and I would grow closer to Him. I would never wish my life on anyone. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. Because I am closer to God than I have ever been.So, God, what do you want me to do about this situation, your situation? God, what do you want me to know, and then what do you want me to do?Your child melts down over math. The old question is, why is this always happening? What is wrong with us? The new question is, God, what do you want me to know about my child? What do you want me to do? Comfort? Pause, change the approach, stop doing math. I did that for a whole year, actually, when I had a child that wasn't doing well with math, and had a bad attitude about it.Maybe skip it first. You're a gentle shepherd, not a drill sergeant. Then speak that truth out loud. Start acting as a gentle shepherd and not that frazzled failure. Just like I did.What I want you to do is I want you to look at the lies, pick one, and write a truth, hopefully a Bible verse that will go along with that truth. And then once you've wrestled through this, work with each of your children. What is the lie they are believing? I can't do it. I'm not smart enough. I need this, or I need that. I don't want this, I don't want that. Blaming people, whatever the lie is.Do it with your kids as well, and write a truth down, and say it out loud. Here are the simple steps so that you can get unstuck with the lies that you're believing. Number one, name one lie. That was last week's episode. Ask the two questions. What, God, do you want me to know about this? What do you want me to do about this?Then, I want you to find a truth and write it down, and put it somewhere that you're going to see it every single day. Kitchen sink, I have some in the bathroom window, I actually have some in the kitchen sink, I have some in my car. So I have different truths that I will see at different times of my day. And then I want you to say it aloud every single day.Do this with your kids, maybe at the breakfast table. They read out loud that Bible verse or that truth about themselves, maybe at their desk, if they have a desk, and they are going to read that out loud as well, before they get started on their homeschool.Speak the Truth Over Your LifeIf you want more ideas, you can get Jamie's book, Living Fearless, that'll be in the show notes. If you want these free things here that I have, I'm going to read these in a second, then you can get those, the link is in the show notes as well. It's just a printable, and there is a page for you to write your own truth. You don't need mine, but mine can be just sort of a sample.And I'll close with this. Like Jesus, I am chosen by God to be holy. I am chosen by God for great honor. I trust in Jesus, therefore I am not put to shame. God loves me and always takes care of me.I am precious to God, because He bought me with Jesus' blood. I am a daughter of the king, a princess. I live in the light shining for Jesus all day long. I control my thoughts, my words, my food, my drink.I receive God's mercy and grace, so I give grace, mercy, and forgiveness to others. I lead my case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. I speak with words. I speak with pure and reverent behavior, and with a gentle and quiet spirit. I wait quietly on God.Some things I have to really work on, and when I'm really struggling with a lie at that time, I may just pull that one out and say it every day, sometimes multiple times. I am patient. I am kind. I always forgive. I forget offenses against me. And some of you are like, I can't forget that. Well, you know what? If I have the Holy Spirit inside of me, I have the power that God has inside of me, and I can overcome, and God can take those thoughts away. He takes other thoughts away that I forget. Surely He can take those offenses, and I forget them.The Holy Spirit renews my mind and attitudes every day. God never leaves me, never abandons me, never fails me. I listen well. I trust in God to fight my battles. He wins my battles.Thanks for spending time with me. If any of this hits home, please share this with just one friend, maybe another homeschool mom, that this might encourage. That would mean the world to me. I'm Kerry Beck with Homeschool Coffee Break. We'll talk to you next time.

Feeling like you're falling behind or failing your kids? The biggest problem in your homeschool isn't the curriculum or the schedule—it's the lies you quietly believe about yourself. In this episode, we're exploring identity exchange: getting rid of the lies in your head and walking in the calling God's given you.Kerry shares lessons from Jamie Winship's "Living Fearless" and the story of David—who learned his identity as warrior, musician, poet, and king while watching sheep in obscurity, just like God is forming your identity in the ordinary moments of homeschooling.What you’ll learn in this episode:✅Why identity exchange matters: the lies ("I'm not organized enough," "my kids need a real teacher") shape everything you do✅What David's story teaches us about learning our calling in ordinary, obscure seasons✅How the enemy attacks Christian homeschool families with little deceptions, not big temptations✅Why "always" and "never" statements are lies (only God always does something right!)✅Your homework: Ask God "What lie am I believing?" and write it down (we'll work on truth next week)Ready to start your identity exchange? Download the FREE Biblical Truths Printable mentioned in this episode—sample truths Kerry speaks over herself daily plus a blank page for your own. Grab your copy of Jamie Winship's book Living Fearless! Podcast: Stop Negative Thinking for You & Your KidsWell, hello everyone, this is Kerry Beck with Homeschool Coffee Break, where we help you stop the overwhelm so you can actually take a coffee break from your homeschool, your home, your family. Every once in a while, we need a break, and we need to refresh ourselves.This episode is being published at the very beginning of 2026, and so this morning, I actually was listening to some podcasts. I had heard some of these stories before, I'd read the book, and I was like, this is what I need to share with my moms, because I believe this is a great way to kick off the new year.Because I don't know about you, but I have a feeling that y'all are feeling a little overwhelmed and stressed out. You feel like you're falling behind, or you're failing your kids. And what we need to realize is the biggest problem in your homeschool, your family, is not the curriculum, is not the schedule, but it is the lies that you quietly believe in your head. You believe them about yourself, as a mom, as a homeschool mom.Learning About Identity ExchangeWhat I want to do today is it's going to be at least a two-part series. We're going to talk a little bit about how we can get rid of those lies, and we can walk in the calling that God's given us. And this really will affect your homeschool. It truly will.I want you to know that what I am sharing today comes from things that I have learned from a man named Jamie Winship. He wrote a book, Living Fearless, and it is Living Fearless, Exchanging the Lies of the World for the Liberating Truth of God. You can get a link to it in the show notes below. When I went on my prayer walk this morning, I really thought through some of these ideas all over again. What is my identity? Let's exchange the lies in my head for my true identity, my true calling from God.If the things I share today are helpful, I would love for you to share this with one person.The Lies We BelieveLet's talk about this for a second. When you're in the midst of homeschooling, you're rushing around, you're doing your math, and you're switching the laundry from the washer to the dryer, you're snapping at your kids, and then at night you're lying on your bed going, I'm ruining them. I'm not cut out for this.But let's be honest, that is not the truth. And you're not the only one that's ever thought that. Because a lot of Christian moms keep that reel in their head, the little script in their head. I'm not organized enough to homeschool. My kids would be better off with a real teacher. I'm just so inconsistent, I can't even hear God clearly.Well, those are lies in your head, and they shape the way you walk through your day. How you plan your day, or you avoid planning at all. Some of you Type A people got that checklist, those lies are affecting that checklist. Or, I don't know what it is, type B, C, or Z, one of them, you just don't even plan at all, because you're just avoiding it.Those lies affect the way that you react to your kids when they are struggling. When you invite God into your lessons, or you just push through. Which one are you?I believe the lessons that I've learned from Jamie Winship about my identity, and about the false identities, the lies, like, I'm a failure, I feel shame, I am inadequate. They keep us stuck. And we can't really hear from God when He is speaking a new name to us.You know, Revelation 2:17 talks about, if we walk victoriously, God is going to give us a white stone and a new name. I'm going to talk about that in the next episode. But we need to be able to hear that new name.David's Identity in the FieldsWe're going to go to the Bible, and we're going to talk about a young man named David. I'm sure you've all heard it or sung the song, Only a Boy Named David. The reason he could kill Goliath is he had been preparing. He was walking in his identity.You know, when they came to find the future king, his dad had even forgotten about him, that he even had that son who was out watching the sheep. How would you feel if your parents forgot you? And I don't think most of you... some of you probably had some rough childhoods, but David overcame.You see, David was called. He was called to be a warrior, a musician, a poet and a king. Where did he learn those things? He learned them when he was watching the sheep from ages 10 to 13, during those middle school years. He wasn't in a palace classroom. He was learning his identity on the field, just like your kids should be learning. Yes, even in middle school, your kids can be learning what their identity is.So today, I'm going to talk to you, Mom, and then we're going to close out by talking about what you can do with your kids as well. You see, David was a warrior. There were lions and bears that were wanting to eat these sheep, and David had to protect the flock with a slingshot, and he already had practice before he ever got on the battlefield.He was a poet. He was a musician, he was writing songs to God, practicing worshiping God all alone on those hills of the sheep and the shepherd, watching them. He was a future king. He was learning leadership lessons in total obscurity, because he was faithful in the small things. God could put him in charge of bigger things as he grew into an adult.Your Ordinary Season Prepares YouIt's the same with you. God can use your ordinary season to prepare you for your calling. He did that with David. His ordinary life as a shepherd prepared him to be a king.It's forming your kids' identity in your living room, at your kitchen table, in their bedroom. It's the small homeschool moments. Those are training grounds for your kids' future calling, and they are current trainings for your calling right now, as a Christian mom, as a homeschool mom as well.You see, I know we have some homeschool moms, and it may be you. We could just call you Sarah. And you're constantly thinking, I'm not patient like all the other moms. I yell too much at my kids. My kids are only going to remember my anger. I had a fear my kids were going to remember the back of my head facing the computer, because I would work in the afternoons.And that was not true, because I know they have some good memories of things that we did growing up. And you may be feeling, oh, my kids are just gonna think all I'm doing is yelling at them. And then all of a sudden, someday during your history lesson or your math lesson, your son says, hey, mom, I really like how you always make learning fun, even when you're stressed out.And all of a sudden, you're in shock, because that internal lie up here in your head is a lie. And you are being too harsh on yourself. You are thinking you are a failure, when that's not true. You know, I think about it, because we did do fun things, and yet I felt like there were times I was snapping at my kids. And hopefully, they are going to remember the good things, the things that you are truly, who you truly are, because you're walking in your calling.Two Voices in Your HeadYou have two voices in your head, just like Sarah, the homeschool mom. It's the lie that we are permanently angry, we are failing our kids, and the other side is the truth. Where her son actually spoke truth to her, because she was a mom who cared enough to just keep showing up, even on the hard days.And I believe that's who you are. You are a mom who keeps showing up, even on the hard days. Just like David's real identity was known by God in the fields. Sarah's real identity as a loving, persevering homeschool mom was visible to God, even while she believed the lies.So we have got to get rid of these lies, and we're going to talk about that right now. Because, let's see, things that you're like, I always do this, or never... always and never statements. I learned that from my husband, Steve. He was like, do not say, I always do this, or I never do that. Because that's just not true. Only person that always does something is God. Only person that never does something wrong is God.You may have shamed things from childhood, or accusing thoughts that you're accusing... you're hopeless. Let's take those away, and let's go to God's voice, because that is the enemy talking. And we are fighting a battle, and if you are homeschooling, and you are a Christian family, that target is on your front. You are in full frontal assault. The enemy is attacking you, and he is telling you lies every single day.They don't come like, oh, don't believe in God. They come in little bitty deceptions like, I'm not doing enough. I'm failing my kids. I need to be more like someone else. Well, God didn't make you to be someone else. He made you to be you.God's voice is specific, it is loving, and it can be convicting, but also hopeful. So I want to encourage you to ask the Holy Spirit today, what is one lie that I am believing, and that I could take out of here and get rid of some of that overwhelm and some of the stress?Help Your Kids with Identity Exchange TooIt's the same with teenagers. Maybe you have a teenager who struggles with reading and says, I am just stupid. I'll never get this. Well, that's a lie. And that's what the enemy wants her to believe. And you as a mom, you may feel that sting, because you may have struggled with that same vibe when you were a teenager. Maybe you're still struggling with it, you know?And we need to remind our kids, hey. David walked in truth. He could fight Goliath, because he practiced when he was a middle schooler or a teenager. And you, as mom, can prompt her and say, reading is your lion and your bear that you are about to kill, and we are going to overcome it, because God gives us the truth, and He gives us everything we need.And He will give you the ability to be able to read and move forward in the things that He's called you to do. I read this one story where they said, okay, write, I am stupid on a paper, and then scratch it out, and let's write the truth. I am God's daughter, learning to be brave like David. And then tape that truth on the wall and say it every single day.Speaking Truth Out LoudYou know, there was a time when I was driving home from the Gentrys, who live about 3 hours away, and we'd had a party, and things were going on in my head, and I eventually just left. I was coming home anyway, but that enemy was lying in my head. I had all this rejection, not from Gentry, but from things that had gone on, and I'll share that story more next week. But I had these lies in my head that I needed to get rid of. And I had to replace them with truth.And so, what did I do? When I got home, either that night or that next morning, I wrote these truths down. I have since actually written a printable, and I'm going to read them to you, because this is the goal. You are going to... your homework is to name a lie and write it down so we know what it is, and then we're going to write a truth about that, and then we're going to say that truth over and over.And I said these out loud for months, I wouldn't say years. I still will pull them out and read them, and I want to read them to you, and every single one comes from a deception from the enemy.Like Jesus, I am chosen by God to be holy. And let me just say, saying it out loud is good. It gets into our brain waves, and it changes the way we think. Did you know your brain grows and grows new synapses every single night? And so we need to retrain the way our brain thinks.And so these are some things that I wrote down and said out loud so I could get rid of those lies and speak the truth to myself. Like Jesus, I am chosen by God to be holy. I am chosen by God for great honor. I trust in Jesus. Therefore, I am not put to shame. God loves me, and always takes care of me.I am precious to God because He bought me with His Son's blood. I am a daughter of the king, a princess. I live in the light, shining for Jesus all day long. I control my thoughts, my words, my food, my drink.I receive God's mercy and grace, so I give grace, mercy, and forgiveness to others. I leave my case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. I speak with words. I speak with pure and reverent behavior in a quiet and gentle spirit. And I wait quietly on God. Now, that's a hard one. Especially when you've been waiting for something for years, and not like, oh, I'm waiting for a house or a car, waiting for people's souls to turn back to God.I am patient. I am kind. I always forgive. I forget offenses against me. The Holy Spirit renews my mind and attitudes every day. God never leaves me, never abandons me, never fails me. I listen well. I trust in God to fight my battles. He wins my battles.We're going to talk a little bit more about getting to those truths next week, but if you would like a copy of these along with a blank page where you fill in your own truths, and we'll have these next week, you can look in the show notes, and there will be a link to those, completely free for you.Your Homework This WeekSo, I want you to take a deep breath. If you can, close your eyes. If you're driving, do not close your eyes. And I want you to ask, Jesus, what lie am I believing about myself as a mom? Don't filter, just notice whatever comes.God already knows it, so don't try hiding your bad thoughts about yourself. He knows what you believe. He knows what I believe. So just put it out there and be honest with yourself. That is called confession, where you truly not... I'm sorry for this, God. Confession is truly admitting the lie that you are believing.And I would say write it down this week, and you might write a few things down. God already knows you're not surprising Him. Confess it means you are agreeing with Him that it's not from Him, that it's a lie. And then next week, we're gonna just start with one of those lies.So, spend this week asking God, what lies do I believe? And then I want you to do this with your kids after you have already experienced this, and listened to God. And do it with your kids, and if you're not sure, pray with them, especially any kid that's 10 and up, even 8 and up, probably.They are probably thinking there are some lies, and you may even know what they are. You might be able to point them in direction, or you might let them pray and let God truly speak to them. So they can begin hearing the voice of God. We're going to talk a lot about the voice of God next week.That's all it is. We're not gonna worry about the truth, we're just gonna worry about the lies that we believe. We're gonna be truthful to ourselves. Brutally truthful, and then we're going to move forward.If you want more help, I would encourage you to get Jamie Winship's book, Living Fearless. There's a link in the show notes to that as well. He will take you even deeper than what I am sharing in these two episodes. You can also get my free biblical truths, daily truths, and I would encourage you, we'll start talking about that, speaking them out loud every single day.Thanks for spending time with me. If any of this hits home, please share this with just one friend, maybe another homeschool mom, that this might encourage. That would mean the world to me. I'm Kerry Beck with Homeschool Coffee Break. We'll talk to you next time.

Teaching manners isn’t about rules and rigidity—it’s about showing love, kindness, and respect to the people around us. In this conversation with Monica Irvine from The Etiquette Factory, we unpack simple and practical strategies for teaching manners in a way that sticks. You’ll discover why manners are more than table rules and how they shape your children’s character for life.If you’ve ever wondered how to teach manners without constant correction, this episode is full of practical stories, heart-tugging lessons, and family habits that make character training simple. Monica shares easy-to-implement tips to help kids feel valued, develop respect for others, and build lifelong relationship skills.What you’ll learn in this episode:✅Why teaching manners is really about loving others✅The key mistake parents make with etiquette✅How to create “soft heart” moments for better learning✅Practical lessons your family can start using week✅How manners build humility, confidence, and strong relationshipsMonica Irvine is the President of The Etiquette Factory and co-Founder of Fundamentals4Kids. As a renowned national speaker and published author of over 20 books, Mrs Irvine delights in her passion for helping children and adults reach their full potential. Mrs Irvine is a retired homeschool mom who now enjoys the fruits of her labors watching her children raise her most loved grandchildren.Follow Monica Irvine and The Etiquette Factory on FacebookRecommended Resources:Character Training Tool KitCharacter Development Without the DramaCharacter Building in 3 StepsShow Notes: What It Really Means to Have MannersKerry: Well, let's talk about etiquette and manners. Could you tell our listeners just a little bit, maybe why is this so important? Especially in today's culture? And how does this go beyond just saying, please and thank you. I mean, please, and thank you are important, but that's just a little small part of it. So tell us why and what, how it goes beyond that.Monica: I know sometimes over the years I've told my husband I should have named the company something besides the etiquette factory, because I'll be at a convention and I can always see people's reaction. They look up and they read the sign, and I can read their brain often where they're going. Oh, that's great and all. But we've got more important things to worry about than what fork to eat your salad with and to me I know why it's so much more than that.Let me first give you the definition that we use for etiquette at the etiquette factory, and that is etiquette which manners and etiquette, chivalry all mean the same thing. Etiquette is helping those around us to feel valued, and comfortable.George Washington's Rules Changed EverythingMonica: Years ago I was homeschooling our kids, and we were studying the life of President George Washington. And what a fascinating life that man had! And as we were doing that I stumbled upon George Washington's rules of civility and decent behavior. Many of you have read a couple of those, if not just Google that. And you will see this list of 110 chivalry skills that, according to President Washington's journal, he put to memory at the age of 13 he actually copied these 110 chivalry rules out of a French book.As I started reading these rules, I just, I can just tell you the spirit penetrated my heart, and being the mom of 3 boys. I was like, Wow, you know, my boys, could benefit from knowing some of these? Of course, manners was always important to me. and so I said, You know, let's start trying to memorize one of these a week and kind of having a manners thing each week.We started memorizing these chivalry skills, and something happened. I started noticing a change in behavior. and it fascinated me because I was like, what's what's changed. I mean, I've always told my boys to have good manners. I've always taught them.The Problem with Teaching "In the Moment"Monica: I think a light bulb moment happened when it dawned on me that usually 98% of the time when I was trying to teach my children manners was in the moment of correcting, like my one of my kids would say or do something that wasn't the most polite, and I would be oh, honey, no, baby, you can't say that, that's not polite. And then I would go on to tell them why.When all of a sudden I shifted to start having a daily manners lesson during the school day, when my heart was softer. My children's hearts were softer because they weren't being fussed at. and we just had a discussion about well, how do we use our napkin correctly? Or how do you make an apology sound sincere. All of a sudden my boys would be like, Mom, let's do another one. What's the next one? Let's go ahead and talk about the next one. and it literally is what changed everything.Why Manners Really MatterMonica: Most people think of manners when they think of table manners right and usually family sit around the table, and for parents that manners are important to them. Their table sounds like this. Could you, too, with your mouth closed, honey, sit still in your chair, stop stop making that noise. Get your elbow off the table, and it's just this constant correcting.But when I teach kids the definition of manners and I use an example like this, I'm like, okay. So if I came over and had dinner with you all your family tonight. and I sat down and I started eating like a pig. I mean, y'all, I'm chewing with my mouth open. I am making some weird noise with my tongue, or I eat so fast that I'm finished getting up and leaving the table. When you're on your 3rd bite any of those behaviors, I would be sending your family a message, and that message would be, look, I'm here for one person, one person only, and that's myself.You see, the lack of manners is called selfishness. Manners is just trying to get me and you and all of us to look outward to pay attention to how our behavior or lack thereof, is causing other people around us to feel.Teaching Children to Feel Others' EmotionsKerry: I love the idea of being valued and being comfortable around someone. So I know this includes things like kindness and respect. Can you give us some ideas on how moms could either do that? Or my other thought was, how do they go from just learning the rules to actually internalizing some of that.Monica: For me, and the way we go about teaching children is we try to actually tug on their heartstring a little bit what I mean by that is, usually it's when it's when our emotions are hit that we change our behavior.So, for instance, let's say that our child has a habit of leaving their dirty clothes and wet towel on the bathroom floor, and most of us would handle it this way. Get your towel off the floor. Come, get your clothes. and usually it's in frustration right?Well, all of a sudden, when you sit down with your kids and say, let's let's talk about, for instance, the way we leave the bathroom for the next person that uses it. If if I go into the restroom and I make a mess. However that happens, whether it's my dirty clothes, my wet towel, I leave the sink full of spit and toothpaste, or I don't have the commode, you know, nice and tidy. Do you want? Do you want to come in after me?The Power of Standing to Show HonorMonica: So let me give you. I'll give you all a lesson. One of our lessons. So one of our lessons is the stand up lesson. So if if we were at an event and someone brought in the American flag, what would we all do? You know we stand up, and why do we stand up? Well, we we stand up because of the honor and respect that we have for what that flag represents.The same thing happens in our home. So the etiquette skill is that today, still, in the 21st century, it is polite for children to stand for adults and for gentlemen to stand for ladies. I use the word honor a lot because I want to raise and wanted to raise honorable children. What does it mean to be honorable? Well to be honorable. You have to do some honorable things and honorable things. Always 100% of the time require some level of sacrifice. That's what makes them honorable when you give of yourself in order to bless help someone else.So how would this look in our home? Our families still eat at the table at least 3 or 4 times a week. But so Mom or Dad might say, Hey, family, it's time for dinner. and so our family would come to the table, and all of us would stand behind our chair until the person we're honoring sits down. Typically, I would suggest that that person first be mom. So Mom is the first person that sits down or the cook.We're Creating Entitled ChildrenMonica: The last time you and your family had a big gathering, maybe 4th of July, who were actually the first people that had their plates prepared. 98% of you are, gonna say, the kids. because see? At some point our society decided that was easier. Oh, yeah. So we got to get the kids, get their plates, get their drink, make sure they have everything they need. And we think if we get the kids situated, then us adults can go over here and eat peacefully, because we're not being bothered by the needs of our children.And then we're the same adults that want to walk around this earth complaining about the entitled generation. And I'm like parents. So you're gonna let your children have their plates fixed before their grandmother. Are you crazy? We've got to stop it because I believe that this behavior is hurting our children.Simple Ways to Practice Valuing OthersMonica: When I'm teaching children and families how to help their children to greet people and introduce themselves. It's not just that we're supposed to introduce ourselves. It's just that greeting people is another way to help people to feel valued.For instance, the last time you and the children went through the Walmart checkout line. What were what were our children doing? Were they obsessing over the candy, mom, can I have this? Can I have this. Were we on our phone scrolling through social media while we're waiting, we're all getting tricked by the enemy into this self absorption.Whereas if I teach my kids how to value others right before we go through the groceries checkout line, I'm going to say, Hey, kids, what are we about to do check out, mom, what does that mean? We're going to help the cashier feel valued. That's right. And so then my children all know to say, Hello, how are you doing today? Oh, good afternoon! What's your name?Kerry: That's so good, you know, in the middle of what you were saying. But while back the word humility just kept coming up to my mind, and the idea of Philippians. 2. Where Jesus is the perfect example of humility and giving of himself. So I really appreciate you bringing this down to the gospel, and it really is sacrifice, and that there's benefits for all of us when we sacrifice.Resources and EncouragementMonica: So the etiquettefactory.com. We've got some wonderful programs. This is our preschool through 3rd grade course, called fundamentals for kids. With little kids, we find that they need to play a game. They need to sing about it, hear a story. Make a craft. And that's what fundamentals for kids is. It's twice a week you pull something out of the box and we help you have a conversation with your kids.And then the life skills for you is for 4th, 5th grade all the way through, seniors. In fact, it can count as a half a credit for our high school. We actually show videos of teenagers doing the skills the wrong way and the right way.Monica: Oh, just you know, if I could go back in time and tell my new homeschool mom self, give myself any advice. It would be relax. Relax. You know, if if we all sent our kids to public school. There would be some gaps in their education when they graduated. and if we sent them to private school there would be some gaps in their education. and as we homeschool when they graduate. there's going to be some gaps. But it doesn't matter about the gaps. What matters is that every day we try to help our children learn to love, to learn. and that's all that matters.In all the years that we homeschooled, y'all, we never finished curriculum. The only curriculum we ever finished. Every year was our math. But what happened is, we learned to love, to learn, and have very successful children who have done some really difficult things in their careers. It works itself out. But teaching character, teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. There is no substitute for that, and have some fun because you're making memories.Ready to start teaching manners in your home? Visit The Etiquette Factory to learn more about Monica's practical curriculum that makes teaching character and manners enjoyable for the whole family.

What if your homeschool didn’t feel like a checklist, but a life-giving journey? In this Best of Homeschool Super Heroes Workshop episode, Julie Ross shares the tools of a Charlotte Mason education and how they can bring peace, beauty, and connection to your home.You’ll learn how to apply these tools—atmosphere, discipline, and life—in a way that nourishes both your children and yourself. This gentle philosophy isn’t about replicating school at home; it’s about building something far more meaningful.Here’s what you’ll take away:✅ What it really means to create a homeschool “atmosphere”✅ How habits form the foundation of discipline (without nagging)✅ Why ideas are the most powerful food for the mind✅ How to foster solitude, attention, and curiosity✅ The secret to cultivating beauty and truth in your homeThis week only, you can grab my Charlotte Mason Tool Kit for 50% off as a way to put these ideas into practice without overwhelm. Mentioned Resources: Charlotte Mason Tool Kit - SAVE 50% with code: CM50Show Notes: Welcome to the Three Tools of a Life-Giving EducationHey, hello everyone. Welcome to the three tools of a life-giving education. I'm so excited to talk to you today about these amazing tools that we have for free.Charlotte Mason said, "Education is an atmosphere and a discipline and a life more important than the curriculum you're using." That's just one of the tools. Any resource you use can be shaped and guided according to these three tools to give your children a life-giving education.Before we dive into today's talk, I just want to introduce myself. I'm Julie Ross. I'm the creator of the Charlotte Mason curriculum, A Gentle Feast. I'm a homeschool veteran of over 20 years. I have five kiddos—one has graduated recently from college and then the other will be a senior in college in neuroscience next year. And then I have three teenagers that I'm still homeschooling.So I've been homeschooling for a while. Before that, I was a public school educator and I helped start a private Christian school. So I've been in the educational space for about 30 years now. And I'm also a certified Christian life coach. So I'm going to bring in all my experience as a teacher, as a homeschool mom, as a coach, and bring that all in and hopefully give you a really practical look at how these three tools of a Charlotte Mason education can help transform your homeschool.Tool #1: Education Is an AtmosphereSo let's start off with the first one. Education is an atmosphere. What in the world does that even mean? That seems so bizarre. Atmosphere, what does it have to do? How is that a tool to help guide our education?I would say this is in fact one of the most, if not the most important tool. Charlotte Mason said, "Therefore, we are limited to three educational instruments: the atmosphere of environment, the discipline of habit, and the presentation of living ideas." Going back again to the motto, education is an atmosphere, discipline, and a life.So, what are we talking about when we're talking about the atmosphere of your home or the home environment? This is from a Parents' Review article. That's the magazine that Charlotte Mason edited. And this author wrote, "There are many important aspects of home life, from first training to highest education, but there is nothing in the way of direct teaching that will ever have so wide and lasting an effect as the atmosphere of home."And the gravest thought concerning this is that in this instant, there's nothing to learn and nothing to teach. The atmosphere emanates from ourselves as the parents. It literally is ourselves. Our children live in it and breathe it and what we are is thus incorporated into them. There is no pretense here or possibility of evasion. We may deceive ourselves in the long run. We never deceive our children. The spirit of home lives in what is more—home atmosphere is accentuated in them. Atmosphere is much more than teaching and infinitely more than talk.And when I first read this quote, I was unbelievably convicted. Because the atmosphere of my home at the time was not what I wanted. It was not what I wanted my homeschool to be like. I felt like I was a drill sergeant constantly giving out orders, constantly wondering like why is this not done? This was supposed to be done minutes ago. Everybody get in the car. We got to go to this and we were just hurry hurry hurry stress stress stress stress.And I was like, this isn't why I homeschooled. This isn't the atmosphere I want to create. Because Charlotte Mason is saying here, this atmosphere that you might not even realize is what is going on in your home is going to have such a lasting effect on your children.What Atmosphere Do You Want to Create?I wanted my children to feel like school and learning was just part of life and it was this beautiful atmosphere. I wanted us to have deep connections. I wanted my kids to be curious. I wanted them to have time to be creative. And I realized that by me being stressed out all the time, I was actually hurting my children and creating an atmosphere of our home that was not conducive to learning.And so if this quote really convicts you as well, I have some hope. So basically what she's saying is that education is an atmosphere. Our children are breathing it. We can't see it, right? And that these become the ideas which rule their lives. They're getting this from us.So, we are the thermostats of our homes. We're setting the temperature. We are either making it really hot, really stressful, really high pressure environment, or we can make the atmosphere of our home peaceful, joyous. Isn't that what we all want, right?So, what words would you use to describe the current atmosphere of your home? This might be something you've never even thought of before. Because before I read Charlotte Mason's teaching, I never—all I was thinking about was like our to-do list and am I choosing the right curriculum and what does our schedule look like and never considered how I was showing up and how that was affecting the temperature of our home. What word would you describe the atmosphere of your home?Common Homeschool Thoughts That Create StressAnd I want you to think about if you've ever had these thoughts in your homeschool: We are so far behind. My child is so difficult. It shouldn't be this hard. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm going to mess up my child. We are constantly butting heads about school. My child is not working up to their potential. I'm overwhelmed.Have you ever had any of these thoughts? I'm guessing most of us who are listening to this have. I know I have had all of those. That's why I wrote them down.If we want to change the atmosphere of our home, we have to be willing to get really honest with ourselves, be willing to pause and to ask ourselves, what am I thinking about my homeschool on a regular basis?How Your Thoughts Create Your AtmosphereWhen I read these words to you, how does that make you feel? For me, I feel like I have a weight like right here. Like I can't breathe. I feel all shame, guilt. You might feel afraid, discouraged, disappointed.And when we have these feelings, which are coming from what we're continually telling ourselves, our continual thoughts and stories, and we have these feelings, it affects the way that we show up. And we're not showing up as our most calm, peaceful, loving selves. And that's creating an atmosphere that we don't want.So in order to create the atmosphere that we do want, we have to look at taking our thoughts captive and by telling ourselves a different story.Charlotte Mason put it this way: "Let not the nervous, anxious, worried mother think this easy, happy relation with her children is for her. She may be the best mother in the world, but the thing that her children will get from her in these moods is a touch of her nervousness, most catching of complaints. She will find them fractious, rebellious, unmanageable, and will be slow to realize that it is her fault. Not the fault of her act, but of her state."So, not the fault of the actions, even though those do have such a great effect, but it's coming from your state, your thoughts. What are you feeling on a regular basis? And are your children catching that?I used to think my children complain all the time. And then I realized, oh, I'm the one complaining all the time. Why is it taking you so long to do that? That should have been finished already. I can't believe you don't understand that. Why do I always have to come back up after you and clean up? And then I wondered why they had bad attitudes. Right?I had to turn the mirror around and look at myself and say, "What am I producing in this atmosphere? How am I showing up?"Changing Your Thoughts to Change Your AtmosphereAnd like I said, we can focus on our actions and be like, I just need to respond in anger less. I just need to respond with a more gentle voice. Yes, that's all true. But we can't just will ourselves to change our action without changing our state, without changing the thoughts that we're thinking on a regular basis.So change your thoughts and change the atmosphere of your home. It sounds easier, really. It sounds a lot easier than it actually is. But when you get into the practice of it, most of us don't even know what we're thinking ever. We just live our lives on autopilot. So, we're just always in reaction mode.So, taking the time to pause and say, "What do I actually think on a regular basis? What am I telling myself about myself as a homeschool mom or about our homeschool, about my kids, and how is that affecting my mood and then my actions?"So, how do we change our thoughts? So, first of all, be mindful throughout the day. Start to take notice, which means you actually have to have margin in your day to pause. Think on purpose. Tell yourself what you're going to think instead. And I'll give you some hints for that in a second.Training Your Brain to Find the GoodAnd then start to find the good. Our brains are naturally wired to keep us safe. So they will find all the things that are wrong. If I said, "What's not working in your homeschool?" You probably could tell me 10 things. And if I said, "How have you been successful in your homeschool this year?" That might be a little harder for you to think of something because our brains naturally look for what's wrong to keep us safe.And so your brain is doing that all day long. It's looking for all this evidence and all these things that are wrong. We need to train it to start finding the good. That means starting to celebrate the small things. Oh my goodness, my son just shared his pencil with his sister. Oh my goodness, like that read aloud. That was so impactful. Oh my goodness, like we went on our nature walk and nobody got hurt.Start to have gratitude for those small things and it will change the way your brain is seeing things that are already there. You're already doing good things. Your brain's just naturally filtering them out trying to find the things that are wrong.Thoughts to Tell Yourself on PurposeSo let's go back to this telling your brain what to think on purpose. We're going to be intentional here. If we're intentional about the atmosphere that we want to create in our home, we have to be intentional with what thoughts we're telling ourselves.So, telling yourself what to think on purpose. Here are some thoughts you might want to try on and see how they fit and start repeating these to yourself. You can journal about them. You could put them on a post-it note. You can embroider them on a pillow. Whatever works for you to start to train your brain to think differently.So: I am the perfect person to homeschool my children. I am on a journey and progressing at the perfect pace. I respond with patience, trusting that all things are working for good. I am grateful to be homeschooling my children. Good things happen every day in our home. I have control over my thoughts, feelings, and energy. I am present and focused during our homeschooling. Our days are full of beauty, laughter, and rich ideas. I will not fear because I work in cooperation with the divine teacher. Mistakes are an opportunity to learn and grow. I am becoming better each day.So, come up with your own if these don't really resonate with you. What are some truths? It might not always feel true. Do I always feel like I'm the perfect person to homeschool my children? Absolutely not. But is that true? Yes.Write those things down and start to tell yourself these stories instead. Start to change your thoughts and see if that affects the atmosphere of your home and what you are working. Work on yourself. Put on your own oxygen mask. Train your brain to start to think differently so that you can show up as your highest, most loving, most calm, most peaceful, most engaged, most curious, most playful self and see how that changes the atmosphere of your home.Tool #2: Education Is a DisciplineAll right, moving on. Charlotte Mason said, "Education is a discipline." By education as a discipline, we mean the discipline of habits definitely formed and thoughtfully, whether habits of mind or body.So the word discipline, you might think of something else, but what Charlotte Mason is referring to are the habits. We have to discipline ourselves to do things on a regular basis. The more we do something, the more neuropathways it makes in our brains and then it becomes a habit. It's not something we have to think about.The Habit of AttentionOne of the habits that's really important to foster is the habit of attention. Charlotte Mason talks about how important that is. We need to have the habit of attention so that we can be focused and really engaged on what we're learning.So this comes from her work, A Philosophy of Education: "Another misconception we have concerns attention. We think that to capture a child's attention with persuasion, dramatic presentations, pictures and visual models. But the fact is a teacher who succeeds depends on his charismatic personality is merely an actor who belongs on a stage."Okay, so this takes the pressure off you. You don't need a bunch of props, games, videos to make every lesson fun in order to gain your child's attention.We now know that attention is not one faculty of the brain and it's not a definable power of the mind. It's the ability to turn on that power and concentrate. We have that attention there. Can you turn it on when you need to? By capturing a child's attention with gimmicks, we waste our time.The ability to focus the attention is already there in the child as much as he needs. It's like a forceful river just waiting to obey the child's own authority to turn it on. Yes, it's capable of stubbornly resisting attempts to be coerced that are imposed from without.What we need to do is recognize that attention is one of the appetites and then we'll feed it with the best we have in living books and knowledge. But paying attention is something the child has to do on their own. We can't do it for them.Feeding Attention with Living BooksIt's not for us to be the fountain of all knowledge. We don't know enough. We don't speak well enough. We're too vague and random to cope with the capability of creatures who are thirsty for knowledge. Instead of pretending to be the source of their education, we must realize that books, the very best books, are the source. And we must put that resource into their hands and read them for ourselves, too.So, our children have this amazing ability to pay attention. And I'm sure you've seen this in your own kids. When they're so focused that nothing you say to them like they can't even hear you. When does that happen? When they're really engrossed in something that they care about, right?Whether that's they're playing a video game or a TV—and sadly that's really damaged our attention spans. But if your child is like making something with Legos and they're so into it, like they're so focused on it, they don't realize what else is going on in the world.And we want to capture that attention when it comes to our school lessons. But most of what we give kids is so dry and so boring that we're actually training them in the habit of not paying attention. And we want to give them the very best book, Charlotte Mason says, because that captures attention.And I'm sure you've read a really great book, right? And you're like so engrossed in the book and your kids are, "Hey, mom, are we ever like going to get to eat today?" And you're like, "What? It's 5 o'clock already?" Right? You like couldn't put the book down.That was like a living amazing story that captured your imagination, that captured your attention. And we want that for our kids. We don't need to come up with all these games and gimmicks to get their attention. If we give them really good books, they'll be like, "Oh, no, wait. Keep reading." That's what we want. That's how we foster this habit of attention.The Power of Short LessonsAll right. And then we want to build some other habits into our school day. So, a habit of attention is so key because that's going to get them to focus. Charlotte Mason also encouraged short lessons. By having short lessons, it's easier to pay attention.Do you know the average adult attention span now is less than 30 seconds? But we're expecting our children to pay attention for 45 minutes of a grammar lesson. That's so unrealistic.Charlotte Mason had short lessons. They didn't have 45-minute lessons till they were in high school. And that's very few subjects actually. And when they're young, a lesson might only take 5 to 10 minutes. By being able to focus, be interested in it, caring about it, you're able to go through school in a shorter amount of time than having these subjects drag on and on and on and on and on.Okay, so I wanted to mention short lessons as well. Okay, so let's move into some other foundational habits that you might want to consider building into your homeschool.The Habit of Outdoor TimeSo the first one is the habit of outdoor time. Charlotte Mason talks a lot about this, but we need to make it a habit. It's not just something like, oh, I hope when we have extra time, we can go do something outside. It needs to be something that is so vital.Here's what she said. This is from volume one: "It is infinitely well worth the mother's while to take some pains every day to secure in the first place that her children spend hours daily amongst rural and natural objects and in the second place to infuse into them or to rather cherish in them the love of investigation. A love of nature implanted so early that it will seem to them thereafter to have been born in them will enrich their lives with pure interests, absorbing pursuits, health, and good humor."So she says the mom has to take pains to secure outdoor time. So it might not always be easy. It might not always be pleasant. That's the thing about a habit, right? When you first starting to build a habit, like going to the gym, it's hard. The more you do it, the easier it becomes, right? You don't have to think about waking up and brushing your teeth. You just do it. It's habitual.So we want to create this pattern of loving nature, of investigating and being curious and having wonder about God's creation and being outside. And so we build that habit again over time. So at first it might be a little painful, but eventually it will build this love of nature within your children.So looking at how can you make this a habit in your day, in your week so that it's something that starts to happen naturally and it's not so hard to get outside.The Habit of RoutinesAnother habit is having routines. So in the book For the Children's Sake, which if you have not read this and you're interested at all in Charlotte Mason, this is my go-to book. You must try this one. She says routines form habits. So if you want to have good habits, you need to add routines into your homeschool day.She says, "Take the area of human relationships. Routines do not make the relationship, but they are the frame upon which we hang our experiences. Some families do not have a routine of eating meals together anymore. Anytime goes for snacking. People rush about at a thousand activities, any one of which could be good. But what is the sum total? Without the priority of a framework, nothing much happens. Few conversations, little time of togetherness."A family decides to read a book together whenever there's time. But invariably there's no time. It is essential to have these basic routines. Children love routines. It frees their attention again—this habit of attention—for the activity at hand.Later on, other routines help the child along. When planning routines, priority must be given to the most important things. The person matters. Whether it be child, husband, wife or friend, we all need time to talk, read, relax and work together. Our relationship with God matters. Where is the time to be found for that? I am a part of his creation. Where will I have time to get out and enjoy nature? Again, that other habit of being outside.There is too much work to be done and I am finite. I need to accept that reality and plan the time and priorities carefully.So, when you are planning out your school year, think about what are the priorities for you. Do you want to build in these habits of being outside, of reading together, of spending time in God's word? Make it a routine. The more you do something, the stronger that habit will become and the easier it will be to make that happen.So, as you're planning out your school day, what are the routines that can make these habits form more easily into your day? And you're not always having to make a million decisions all day about do we do this next, do we do that, do we decide to go here, do we do this? By having these routines, it eliminates a lot of that decision fatigue, which will be so helpful.The Habit of SolitudeAnd the next one is the habit of solitude, which might be something you have not thought of. And I think it's really interesting. I'm going to have to put my glasses on here because I have this quote on my phone and it's really hard to read. Bear with me one second here.All right. "For the right use of programs"—at Charlotte Mason's programs—"two things are necessary: solitude and independence." Okay. For the right use of the programs, two things are necessary: solitude and independence. Children must have these.Nursery children come off fairly well in these respects. They get time where they can wander and dream alone in the garden. But this happy state ends where schoolroom life begins. Lessons, walk, and lessons again. Always in company, always having something that must be done now.Miss Mason devises the timetables—that's those short lessons I was talking about—which cover such reasonable hours as to leave time over for the solitude. But parents are often very culpable in thinking that tango—isn't that so funny—or some other new thing must be learned as well. The much needed time for solitude is used for plans which necessitate hurried journeys always in the company of a responsible person who feels it's her duty to talk in an instructive way.And the thinking time, the growing time, the time in which the mind is to find food is diminished and the child becomes restless, tiresome, irritable, disobedient. Everything that a child who is reputed to be difficult can be. The parents marvel and say, "But we are giving him the best education that can be procured. We are neglecting no opportunities."Kind, generous parents, you are giving your child every opportunity but one, and that is self-development. By your generous care, you are safeguarding him from ever using his own mind, ever relying upon himself in any way.The child who at first found interference irksome later depends on it so much that he is unable to work without the constant prodding of a mentor. I believe that this is the prime reason of the oft repeated lament of teachers and professors: Little ones are so eager. Older children are less keen. Adults are dull.Wow. If you want to feed your child's mind, you have to build in times of solitude into your day. Time when your children are alone with their imaginations, when you're not hurried from one thing to the next.And there's so many amazing opportunities now for homeschoolers that weren't around when I started. But it can be so easy to pack our day where we're constantly on these hurried journeys. And our children don't have time to think, to be alone with our own thoughts, and to allow these ideas start to form and take root in their mind and to develop their imagination.So, make sure you're leaving time for the habit of solitude in your day.Questions to Consider About HabitsSo, here are some questions to consider when it comes to building good habits into your homeschool: How am I fostering good habits in my own life? So, we have to start with ourselves. If we're not building good habits in our own life, we are not going to be good models for our children on how to stay consistent with something, how to will ourselves to do something that we actually don't really want to do. We need to model that first for our kids.Does my homeschool routine make good habits easy? Again, routines are going to be the tracks that these habits are going to go on and that's going to make everything so much easier in your day.And what's one habit that would bring more ease to our homeschool day? What's one thing you could start maybe even this summer that could be a habit that gets built that's going to make things easier come fall?Tool #3: Education Is a LifeAnd then the last one is education is a life. In saying that education is the life, the need of intellectual and moral as well as a physical sustenance is applied. The mind feeds on ideas. Therefore, children should have a generous curriculum.Education is a life. It is living. We want to give our kids a life-giving education. We're not just feeding their mind, but we're feeding their whole personhood, their physical body, their moral body, them as spiritual beings, right?What Does the Mind Need to Grow?But what does the mind actually need to grow? Are we feeding it the proper food? Charlotte Mason would say a mind can only be fed upon ideas. We can stuff a bunch of information in there, she says, but it's like sawdust in the cogs of a machine.We're just filling our children with a bunch of information. They might look really stuffed and like they know a whole lot, but there's no depth to what they're actually learning. Only ideas can take root and be the proper food that your child's mind needs.So what is what do we mean by that? What's an idea? So she says an idea is more than an image or a picture. It is so to speak a spiritual germ, a little seed endowed with vital force and with power that is to grow and produce after its kind.It's the very nature of an idea to grow. As the vegetable germ secretes that it lives by so fairly implant an idea in the child's mind and it will secrete its own food and it will grow and it will bear fruit and it will inform a succession of like ideas.Charlotte Mason calls this the science of relations. These little ideas that come into our children's mind through the books that we're reading, through the art that we're looking at, through the music, through the being out and investigating out in nature. These little seeds when they have time for solitude to grow, they will grow on their own and they will connect to other ideas.We don't have to put all the connections and make a cute little unit study where everything all goes together for our kids. Their brains are naturally going to make these connections as these ideas are growing. Those synapses are going to start connecting. And it's such a beautiful thing to watch because this is their own brain doing the hard work of digesting all this mind food that we're going to give them.Where Do Ideas Come From?So the proper nourishment of ideas, what does this mean? What does this actually look like? What are we putting in here on a regular basis?So first of all, ideas come from stories or books that are written in a narrative fashion. So even high school chemistry, believe it or not, even high school physics can be written in a narrative fashion where there's an idea, there's something that captures your imagination. It's not just a bunch of facts.She says, "I think we owe it to our children to let them dig their knowledge of whatever subjects for themselves out of the book. What a child digs is his own possession."So, as a teacher, we're not having to learn all the information. We're not the fountain head of all knowledge. We're not having to digest all the material and put it together and then teach it to our kids. We are putting them in touch with real books where the authors are passionate about the subject and those books are the ones that are teaching our children. They're the ones that are feeding their minds with all these amazing ideas.We also—and this is like a common misconception with Charlotte Mason is oh you just read books all day. No, children are also doing things with their hands and ideas can come from these things as well. They have these natural objects. They're outside. They're out in nature. They're investigating. They're exploring. They're learning these gross motor skills. They're working with handicrafts, with wood and leather and clay.They have natural objects. They're seeing the birds and the plants and the trees and these things that are outside. They're observing. They're understanding cause and effect and making conclusions about the way the world works. They're looking at art and using science things. All of these grow ideas in a child's mind. So it's not just books but books and things.Cultivate Your Own MindAnd then you need to cultivate your own mind. If you want to be pouring ideas into your children, you need ideas coming into your own mind. She says we need not say one word about the necessity for living thought in the teacher. It is only so far as he is intellectually alive that he can be effective in the wonderful process which we glibly call education.I love this. Only so far as he is intellectually alive. So you need to make habits of feeding your own mind with these ideas through books or things or trying new things, learning new skills or habits so that you are growing your own mind and then you can pour that forth into your children. That's what makes you a living, growing human and that will inspire them as well to follow this kind of lifelong educational path.The Danger of Education Without IdeasCharlotte Mason said it is possible to pass even the university's local examinations with credit without ever having experienced that vital stir which marks the inception of an idea. And if we have succeeded in escaping this disturbing influence while we have finished our education, when we leave school, we shut up our books and our minds and remain pygmies in the dark forest of our own dim world of thought and feeling.You can check off all the boxes and pass the tests and never have an idea that changes and shapes you as a person. And that is such a scary thought and such a grave defect of our modern industrialized educational system.Charlotte Mason is advocating for something extremely different. By having the atmosphere be one that fosters connection and creativity and curiosity, by having routines and habits that make learning possible, by having living ideas coming through books and things, your children will constantly have these seeds of ideas planted into their minds that will grow and shape them as full people who, as Charlotte Mason uses this word I love so much, become magnanimous citizens.She says, "How large is the room upon which their feet are set?" And you get to have the amazing opportunity to use those three tools of a Charlotte Mason education to provide your child with an amazingly large room full of beautiful, rich, good, and true ideas.Get Started with These ToolsIf you want to get started using these tools and you're like, I have no idea how to even start. And you want to bring some truth, goodness, and beauty into your homeschool day, I have a free morning time packet. All you have to do is scan that QR code. It's called Times of Togetherness. And there's some other fun activities in there as well to help your family develop the habit and the culture of coming together and looking at scripture, listening to hymns, looking at beautiful art and poetry to grow that goodness in your hearts and minds and to fill yourself with these living ideas.So if you want to grab that, you can grab that there. I would also love to connect with you. My curriculum, A Gentle Feast, can be found at gentlefeast.com. I also have a podcast where I encourage modern homeschool moms to create a life and homeschool they love. It's called The Feast Life. You can find it in all the podcast platforms.And then we also have a free Facebook group if you'd like to join. Just learn some more about this philosophy, connect with other like-minded moms. It's a really great, wonderful group of moms in that Facebook community called The Feast Life Community. Just search for them on Facebook and you will find us.So, thank you so much for listening. I hope this is helpful. I hope you'll be able to look at your homeschool for next school year and say, "What kind of atmosphere am I creating? How can I use this tool of habits to make our days smoother and easier? And then what living ideas are coming forth from what I'm choosing to use in our homeschool? And am I feeding my children with the kind of rich ideas that their minds actually need to grow upon?" So, thank you so much for listening. I really appreciate it.

Celebrate Epiphany with your family through hands-on activities that bring the story of the Wise Men to life. In this episode, we’ll explore creative crafts, thought-provoking questions, and global traditions to help your children understand the meaning of this special day.Learn how to incorporate the gifts of the Wise Men and act out the Nativity story together. Make Epiphany unforgettable with these fun and meaningful activities:✅ Questions to ponder during the 12 days of Christmas until Epiphany✅ 8 activities for families to celebrate Epiphany✅ Feast of Epiphany ideas✅ Create crafts like crown and star ornaments, stained glass windows, and glittery gifts✅ Explore the symbolism of frankincense, myrrh, and gold with sensory activities✅ Act out the Nativity story and discuss its significance with thought-provoking questions✅ Discover global Epiphany traditions and bring them into your own celebrationUse coupon code to save 40% on Christmas Celebrations & Star of Bethlehem. Expires Friday, Dec 19.Mentioned Links:Christmas Celebrations Ebook - SAVE 40% with code: DEC19Star of Bethlehem Family Bible Study Ebook - SAVE 40% with code: DEC19Posts to Help with Epiphany:Epiphany Traditions from our FamilyItalian Feast of EpiphanyShow Notes:What Is Epiphany and Why It MattersHey everyone, Kerry back here with Homeschool Coffee Break where we help you stop that overwhelm so you can actually have a coffee break. I actually have coffee with me today!Today what we are going to be talking about is how you can celebrate Epiphany and some of y'all are going, I don't even know what you're talking about. What in the world is Epiphany? We're gonna talk about Epiphany, but what I want to do is give you some hands-on activities. I think I have eight or nine activities that you can use.Because really, when this is published, we are smack dab in the middle of Christmas and New Year's. But there is something much more important than New Year's and that is the Feast of Epiphany on January 6th. That is almost a week away from when this is going to be published.Let's talk about what Epiphany is, how it can affect your family, how you can raise your kids to understand it. Because let me tell you, I had no idea till my kids were almost in high school what Epiphany was, what that feast was, what that holiday was.Understanding the 12 Days of ChristmasEpiphany is 12 days after Christmas. Ah, 12 Days of Christmas! It is not 12 days before Christmas—they are after Christmas. The Catholic church has a great handle on this and I am a Protestant and raise my kids in a Protestant church. And we don't, and I would like to help make a change with that because we need to give our kids the best Christian heritage.They need to know their church history. They need to know their Christian heritage. And if we are only letting certain denominations do that, then we are doing a disservice to our children.One of the things I have been thinking about just this past week, because I went to visit my middle daughter and her two grandkids, was what could I send to both the grandkid families to celebrate Epiphany. In the past, I've actually made 12 paper bags, like little brown paper bags, nothing big, to celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas.Because if you don't know this, the 12 Days of Christmas have symbolism. You see, when it was written, people could not talk in public about Christ. So they wrote this song and they could sing the song because of the symbolism. Partridge in a pear tree—that's Jesus in the manger. The three French hens—that is God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. All 12 of them have significance. If you don't know what that is, then go and look. We've got a whole ebook about that and it'll be in the show notes.Celebrating the Wise Men's JourneyBut that is something I think is really important. What we want to focus on today is that 12th day, the day of Epiphany, the day we celebrate that the Wise Men followed the star and found Jesus. That was not in the manger. It was probably maybe a year or two later. And so we are going to celebrate that on January 6th.What are some things that you could do to celebrate that?Activity #1: Read and Study Matthew 2First of all, you could read Matthew 2:1-12. There are nine clues about what is that star. If you need help, you can get our Star of Bethlehem study guide—it is in the show notes as well.You could have your children copy all 12 verses. If they're young, one verse a day for 12 days. You could have them retell the story in their own words, narrate it back, or rewrite it in their own words. All of that based in Matthew 2:1-12.Activity #2: Crown and Star CraftsAnother thing is you could do some crafts. You can make a crown craft. Let me tell you, my grandkids love all of that! You could cut out a crown and let them decorate it with jewels and stickers and whatever, put it on their head. And they can be, if you have three of them, they can be the three wise men. Even one of them—we don't know that there were just three, there were just three gifts, so we assume there were three wise men.Another thing you could do is make a star ornament. And I will put a link in the show notes to some different star ornament things. It could be a black construction paper star and then put tissue paper inside of it with, what do you call that stuff, just a clear paper, and it will turn into a star stained glass. You can make a star out of foam and decorate it with glitter and jewels, whatever you want to do. There are lots of ways that you can make a star craft.Activity #3: Explore the Wise Men's GiftsNow let's move on. We've got: read the Bible first of all, number two: crafts. How about the Wise Men gifts? One of those gifts is frankincense. This is a bottle of frankincense oil. You could have your kids open it up, let them smell this. This is a healing oil, believe it. You may not believe in all the essential oils—this is a healing oil.Myrrh—I didn't grab my myrrh, I have a myrrh oil—but let them smell that. Talk about the difference in the smells. What is it used for? Do some research on how do you use frankincense, how do you use myrrh.Then the last gift is gold. Maybe do some research on the value of gold. How much does gold cost per ounce? What is the value of maybe a gold nugget? And start to bring it to real life today.Activity #4: Act Out the StorySo we've got: read the Bible, crafts, we've got the three wise men gifts. You could have them act out the story. Maybe the adults read Matthew 2 and the kids act it out. Or maybe they get their own figurines. All my kids have all the Fisher Price people and we've got stuffed ones out there, we got plastic ones, we got all sorts of figurines for our nativity sets. Let them use that and let them retell the story, act it out.Activity #5: Thought-Provoking QuestionsAnother thing might be just some thought-provoking questions. Here are three thought-provoking questions you could use:What do you think it was like to travel so far to see Jesus? You couldn't get in a plane, you couldn't get in a car or a train. You had to go by camel. What was that like? And let them talk about that.Why do you think the wise men brought gifts?How can we worship Jesus today?Those are just three quick questions. I'm sure there are plenty more, but those are some ones that you could use as you talk about this day of Epiphany.Activity #6: Explore Traditions Around the WorldMaybe look at what the traditions are around the world. In France, they have a king's cake and there's a ring inside that cake. Have a king's cake bake-off! Maybe let your kids all make cupcake king's cupcakes and have a bake-off and have a little judge who chooses first, second, third place.In Spain, they have parades. Do some research and see what are the other traditions for Epiphany around the world.Activity #7: Make Crown Cookies or SnacksAnother one of my favorite things, because it is food as we're talking about food, is to make some sugar cookies and cut them in the shape of a crown. I just bought this on Amazon years ago when I was having to do a lot of vacation Bible schools in the summertime and so I bought this.Another thing you could do besides, you could do it in sugar cookies and then use sprinkles to decorate it. I actually this past fall, we cut cheese in the shape of a crown and used grapes to decorate it. We cut the grapes up, or blueberries, I don't know what it was, some kind of fruit. That was the healthy version of a crown snack.Activity #8: Chalk the Door House BlessingAnother thing I just learned today is to have a house blessing. It is called Chalk the Door. Let's say there is a door here. You would write: 20+C+M+B+25. The 20 and the 25 are for 2025, that's the year we're in right now.What is CMB? Christus mansionem benedicat. That means "May Christ bless this dwelling." You could actually take chalk and put that above your front door. That is something they've been doing for years. And that would be something—maybe even look at what these words mean in Latin: Christus, mansionem, benedicat. And look those up and find out how it all relates to "May Christ bless this dwelling."Activity #9: The Feast of Epiphany with OrangesAnd then the last one, one of my favorites—I don't really have anything here to help you—but the Feast of Epiphany: use those little oranges, what are those little, uh, clementines, whatever, the little ones. My kids get them in their stocking all the time. Oranges represent light. Who is the light of the world? Jesus!And I have a whole blog post—I'm not going to go into it, you can go look at it—how you can create a Feast of Epiphany with a main dish, with an appetizer, with a fun dessert, yummy yummy, and then with the oranges as well. Because the oranges, open them up, they represent light.Start Simple and Build Your TraditionsSo those are just a few ways that you can celebrate Epiphany this year. None of them are extravagant. They are very simple, hands-on activities. You have almost a week—pick and choose one or two that you might want to do this year. And then next year you can do something different.Now for some of you, you're like, "I need a little more help." We have some resources! One is our Christmas Celebrations ebook. It tells what all 12 days are symbolized for and gives you some ideas about the Feast of Epiphany. We have our Star of Bethlehem Bible study for families, and so you can go through that. That Bible study is really more for Epiphany than it is for Christmas because it was the star the Wise Men followed to find Jesus.Also have a couple blog posts on Three Epiphany Traditions That We Did and our Italian Feast of Epiphany. So you can just look in the show notes to get all of those.If you have other ideas, leave a comment wherever you are! And if they don't let you leave comments, please leave a five-star review for us—that would mean the world to me. Hey, I'm Kerry Beck with Homeschool Coffee Break. We'll talk to you next time!