Parenting Teenagers Untangled

Ask Rachel anything
I've really needed a reminder of how emotional regulation works, and how to see the best in everyone, over the past three weeks. I think Dr Jody gave us the best talk on this and I loved her so much that it was a joy to have the chance to discuss her ideas with Katharine Radice.
I don't know about you but it's one of my favourite topics because it comes up all of the time when we're parenting teenagers and I need regular reminders to be kind to myself just as much as I need to be kind to my kids.
Here's a summary of what we discuss in this Wonder Room episode:
Rachel and Katharine revisit Dr. Jody’s advice, including “walk them home,” “get eyes,” and “tell me more.”
We discuss the idea that even attuned parents get it right only some of the time, the number that comes up is 30%! That means we only need to get it right 30% of the time to be one of the best parents. Obviously, that makes repair one of the most important parenting skills.
A simple pause to make hot chocolate can prevent conflict from escalating.
Modeling repair
Parents can acknowledge when they have lost their temper and apologize, because it shows children how relationships recover.
Naming personal patterns and signs of stress can help families support one another without making children responsible for adult emotions.
Repair between adults should be visible to children when possible, so they do not assume conflict is unresolved or their fault.
Teen independence and listening
Parents need to adjust their support as children mature, balancing practical help with respect for their choices and agency.
Listening and asking for more information can make space for children to express difficult feelings without requiring parents to have immediate answers.
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You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: 
My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me
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Ask Rachel anything
This episode will change how you see “bad behaviour” and might just change how you see yourself, too.
In this powerful conversation, with Dr Jody Carrington, we unpack what every parent and teacher needs to know about emotional regulation – and why you’re probably doing better than you think.
It fits perfectly with the lessons I've been learning as the mother of a badly injured daughter who needs me to stay strong while she gets back on her feet. You can read all about it by clicking here
In this episode, we cover:
What emotional regulation really isThe “flipped lid” model and the role of the prefrontal cortex
Why kids don’t “lose their goodness” – they just lose access to it

Why your regulation matters more than any parenting hack“If the big people aren’t okay, the little people don’t stand a chance”
How our phones, watches and constant comparison are quietly dysregulating us

Behavior, consequences and connectionWhy a strict rewards-and-punishments model backfires
The shift from “What’s wrong with this child?” to “What happened to this child?”

Repair: the real superpower in families and classroomsWhy the best predictor of lasting relationships is the capacity to repair
How to apologise to your child (and your partner) in ways that actually heal

Practical tools you can use todayThe phrases “Tell me more” and “What’s the hardest part?”
The “collect before you direct” principle
Everyday connection habits: eyes, car rides, bedtime, food, and shared interests

Hope for worried, exhausted parentsWhy kids should be “worst” with you (and why that’s a good sign)
The 30% rule that lets you drop the perfectionism and keep going.

Dr Jody Carrington:
https://www.drjodycarrington.com
Support the show
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: 
My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me
Instagram
Facebook

Ask Rachel anything
Who doesn't want a simple answer to their problems? In all honesty I often hope to find one, but it's not really feasible when parenting teenagers. I love talking with experts who give us terrific advice - such as Dr Naomi Fisher and Dr Dominique Thompson - but when it comes to the messy job of parenting it can feel way more complicated in day to day life than we would hope. 
In this conversation Katherine Radice and Rachel Richards discuss the messy realities; from school being unbearable for our teen to when a group chat turns into a pile-on. 
We share practical ways to listen without panicking, work with schools, and help young people slow down, make mistakes, and grow.
School refusal and taking a pause — Understand why listening to your teenager matters, how to weigh school milestones against their wellbeing, and how to explore alternatives without closing the door on returning.
Making parent–school meetings more productive — Learn how sharing key information ahead of time and approaching staff collaboratively can help you understand what support the school can realistically offer.
Recognizing when a difficult patch needs action — Spot signs that a problem may be affecting your child more deeply, such as withdrawal or changes in their health, and see why keeping a factual log can help identify patterns.
Handling group chats, online conflict, and cancel culture — Get ideas for helping teens pause before replying, avoid escalating online drama, and disagree with someone’s views without attacking their identity.
Building resilience through mistakes, shame, and changing views — Explore ways to model openness about difficult feelings, help teens see how they’ve grown, and encourage curiosity and understanding across differences.
Episode on bullying teens

Support the show
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: 
My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me
Instagram
Facebook

Ask Rachel anything
Just over a week ago, my daughter was badly burned when her hot water bottle split along the seam. She needed specialist care at the Queen Victoria Hospital burns unit which became famous for Archibald McIndoe’s work treating badly burned WWII airmen. 
Instead of going back to university, she spent her 20th birthday recovering at home, unable to walk.
In this community catch-up episode I’ll tell you what happened, what we learned about treating burns, and what I want you to do tonight:
If someone gets burned, cool the burn under cool running water for 20 minutes, cover it loosely with cling film, and get medical help.
Check your hot water bottle for the daisy wheel symbol. It shows the month and year it was made. If it’s more than two years old, throw it out.
Never fill it with boiling water. Let the kettle stand for a few minutes, fill it only two-thirds full, and squeeze out the air before you seal it.
Consider a wheat or rice bag instead.
I’m also campaigning for every hot water bottle sold in the UK to carry clear warnings and a “throw out by” date.
CHILDREN'S BURNS TRUST: https://cbtrust.org.uk/
QUEEN VICTORIA HOSPITAL: https://www.qvh.nhs.uk/
ADULT BURNS SUPPORT: https://adultburnsupportuk.org/
BRITISH BURN ASSOCIATION: https://www.britishburnassociation.org/
Support the show
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: 
My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me
Instagram
Facebook

Ask Rachel anything
What’s behind a teenager’s struggle to get to school—and how can parents help without turning every morning into a battle? In this episode, journalist and host Rachel Richards talks with clinical psychologist Dr. Naomi Fisher, author of The Teenagers’ Guide to Taking Control of Your Education, about school avoidance, burnout, demand avoidance, and the questions parents often have about autism and ADHD.
Drawing on her own experience of struggling at school and decades of work with young people and families, Naomi challenges us to look beyond labels and ask what a teen is experiencing, what support they need, and how parents can work alongside them. They also explore the importance of connection, curiosity, and making room for young people to take an active role in their learning.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
What may be behind school avoidance—and how to look for specific school-day stressors rather than assuming a child is simply refusing.
How to work with your teen, not against them, while still acknowledging that education needs to happen.
What burnout can look like and why stepping back may help some teenagers recover.
How to think about demand avoidance and autism or ADHD diagnoses without letting labels replace curiosity about what a young person needs.
Why following a teen’s interests and repairing your connection matter—especially when school has become a source of conflict.
For more detailed notes and help on this go to my Fearless Parenting Substack 
Support the show
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: 
My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me
Instagram
Facebook