Adoption: The Making of Me. An Oral History of Adoptee Stories

• Mike: From Adoption to Discovery

  Mike Brettmann was born in Des Moines, Iowa, in 1958 and adopted a few days later. He grew up on a small farm in Iowa with a brother who was adopted from another family. They were always told they were adopted, but it was never discussed. Mike joined the army after high school and served nearly 28 years on active duty. His uncle asked him to find the Brettmann family history while stationed in Germany. After tracing the Brettmann family in 1987, he wanted to find his roots. In 1999, he found his adoption papers and began a search for his birth parents, and in 2010, he connected with his birth mother. She gave him information about his birth father, who was not listed in the adoption papers, and they met in 2012. The reunion with his birth parents did not go well, but he was happy to learn his story and find some other relatives that he created a relationship with.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, May 10th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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• Ellianna: The Power of Reverse Healing

  Ellianna was born prematurely in a county hospital in Portland, OR, in 1968. She had been relinquished at birth, so she stayed in the hospital alone for several weeks. Foster care stepped in for a week, and then she went to her adopted family, where there was another adopted child that was 2 years older. Ellianna moved around a lot as a child, and as an adopted child, this added to the feeling of not belonging anywhere. Adoption was not something talked about much in the home, but both children knew they were adopted.At the age of 24, she met both of her birth parents and much extended family on both sides. This began the long, arduous journey of healing her wounds and finding where she belongs.Ellianna moved in with her birth mother and grandmother one month after reunion and proceeded to start trying to find a way to fit into her newly forming identity. It has been a roller coaster ride of forging new families and dealing with the issues from the one she grew up in. No one could have prepared her for the long, winding road she has taken, but with it all, she has found peace and the belonging she desired.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, April 12th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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• Becky: Shifting Perspectives of Adoption

  Becky is a scientist, mother, wife, and baby scoop era adoptee who lives with her husband and biological daughter in Oregon. She was born in California, separated from her very young mother at birth, and adopted at 6 weeks by a married couple struggling to have their second biological child. Comfortably raised, she always knew she was adopted, special, and “chosen”. Her adoption was closed, and the birth certificate remains sealed.In 1993, with the help of her adopted sister and a document listing her birth name that her adopted father had been given by accident, Becky found and contacted her birth mother, who welcomed her warmly. They have been in reunion since that time. The person thought to be her biological father reportedly struggled after serving in Vietnam, was difficult to find, and passed away before any contact was made. At peace with the understanding that she would never meet him, Becky was astonished when, in late 2023, a DNA match emerged indicating that a different person was her biological father and that he was alive. Becky located and met her actual biological father in early 2024.Since the shocking revelation about her “new” father and the rewriting of the narrative around her birth, Becky has been exploring and questioning the dominant social paradigm around adoption. She now has a very different perspective about the nature of choice, reproductive equity, who is a worthy mother in our society, and basic rights around identity. Even though the fog had not yet lifted at the time of her daughter’s birth, Becky never considered adopting. Having a baby at the ripe old age of 42 is not always successful, but she knew “choosing” someone else’s child was not her solution.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, April 12th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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• Chris: Recorded Live Podcast Episode

  Chris Williams was born in Downtown Los Angeles at Queen of Angels Hospital and adopted when he was just a few months old. His journey has been anything but conventional, marked by resilience, reinvention, and a pursuit of purpose. In 2020, Chris moved to Santa Barbara to earn his bachelor’s degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, which he proudly achieved at age 35.While in Santa Barbara, Chris pursued a lifelong dream: stand-up comedy. What began as a passion project evolved into the start of a blossoming career, earning him recognition as an award-winning comic. Through his comedy, Chris masterfully blends humor and heart, often sharing personal stories, including his adoption experience, to connect with audiences on a deeper level. For Chris, comedy isn’t just about laughs—it’s about community, connection, and creating spaces where people can share their experiences and feel seen.Chris is excited to join the conversation about adoption, offering a unique perspective shaped by his life and his commitment to bringing people together. You can connect with him on Instagram at @crwspeaks.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, April 12th @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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• Christine: A Bittersweet Reunion

  Christine is an adoptee born in January of 1972, at the tail end of the baby scoop era. She was adopted in March of that year through Catholic Family Charities. Her mother had bought a book that explained how a family adopts a child in a very simplistic way. In fact, until the age of seven, she thought that all children were adopted. It wasn’t until a friend’s mother got pregnant that she realized there was another way to have a baby. Her mother explained to her that she was special—that she was chosen.Growing up, the subject of her adoption was not spoken of in her household. She had been told at a young age that she was her parents’ child and that they would not discuss the matter of her adoption. She rarely told anyone about it, not even her closest friends. Christine never searched for her birth family. She knew it would make her parents unhappy and was scared about what she might find out. As they got older, her children’s curiosity about their actual ethnicity led her to Ancestry DNA. Two years later, after receiving the results, Christine received an email through Ancestry. It stated, “I believe that you are my niece. That would be so wonderful.”The next few months were a process of meeting her birth mother, Pat, two half-brothers, and her maternal birth family. She found out that Pat was 16 when she got pregnant. She had been sent to a home for unwed mothers and gave birth to Christine two weeks after her 17th birthday. Pat was supposed to relinquish her parental rights after Christine’s birth but refused to do so. Christine was placed in foster care for two months until Pat realized it was a losing battle and signed the relinquishment papers. For years, Pat slept with Christine’s picture under her pillow.Christine and Pat had the opportunity to meet and get to know one another. They were developing a relationship when Pat succumbed to cancer, only 18 months after their reunion. Christine remains in contact with her brothers, aunts, uncles, and cousins.Today, Christine lives in Connecticut with her partner, Rob. Between them, they are fortunate to share four boys and a girl. She holds a Doctorate of Nursing Practice and works as a full-time Professor of Nursing.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, April 12th @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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