How can full-time housewives avoid self-wear and tear?
How do housewives achieve self-demotion? People need their own careers. They need to obtain a sense of identity and a sense of accomplishment from their jobs or the things they are creating. However, being a housewife means cutting off the broader sources of a sense of accomplishment. After becoming a housewife, if even for just a second, you regard gaining your family's satisfaction as the goal of life or obtain recognition from it, you will automatically be demoted to a maid. Your family members will subconsciously find fault with your "work". They will shift from being originally grateful for your efforts to judging them. They may start to compare your work with the standards they've seen from other channels. For example, at first, they thought the meals you cooked were delicious, but later on, they gradually began to think that the meals you cooked were not nutritious or healthy enough, even though they didn't have to do the cooking themselves. Or they might think that the cleaning you did wasn't clean enough. The difficulty here is that once you become a housewife, it's almost impossible for you to receive positive feedback from anywhere outside the family. Inevitably, you will put yourself in the position of a maid. And your family members will gradually regard you as a maid based on the signals conveyed by your daily behaviors, taking a clean and tidy home environment and delicious meals as the assessment indicators for you. All these changes in mentality occur subconsciously, and it's difficult for both sides to notice them.
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Intimate Manipulation: Bad Either Way
In the context of an intimate relationship, when we discern that the behavior of our partner exhibits manipulative tendencies, we are often inclined to question the nature of such manipulation - whether it is a conscious and calculated act or an inadvertent occurrence. There is a common propensity to rationalize or defend the other person by presuming the latter. However, a more incisive analysis reveals that, irrespective of the intention behind the manipulation, the consequences and implications are equally deleterious.In the case of deliberate manipulation, it signals certain underlying character deficiencies. Primarily, it denotes a lack of self-assurance and a frail internal sense of self-worth. Such an individual operates under the fallacy that the retention of those in their proximity can only be achieved through manipulative stratagems, thereby neglecting the fundamental tenet of reciprocity in human interactions - that giving is essential for receiving. It is not inconceivable that their purported affection for the other person is, in fact, a guise for their enjoyment of the power dynamic that manipulation affords them. Individuals of this ilk are statistically more likely to engage in infidelity in the subsequent course of the relationship.Conversely, if the manipulation is unintentional, it is symptomatic of a profound deficit in empathetic capacity. These individuals are incapable of discerning the ramifications of their actions on others. Their utterances are often spontaneous and unfiltered, bereft of any consideration for the potential harm they may inflict on those in their social sphere. Regrettably, the paucity of empathy in such cases is a trait that is notoriously resistant to modification in later stages of life.
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Hidden "Traps" in Intimate Relationships
In an intimate relationship, there are some deliberate manipulation tactics. For example: Verbally claiming to attach importance to you but refusing to communicate with you in depth. This is to cause cognitive dissonance in you. Unconsciously, you will increase your emotional investment in this relationship. Eventually, these emotions will transform into affection, leading you to fall in love with someone who originally did not meet your requirements. Maintaining overly close contact with other people of the opposite sex and insisting that they are just ordinary friends, and deliberately praising other women in front of you. This is to make you unconsciously enter into competition with others and feel that you can never securely possess this person no matter what. Since you completely lack a sense of security, you are forced to verify your partner's love from some very trivial matters. For example, you start to demand an instant reply to messages and other things that you didn't originally care about. Therefore, if we find ourselves in a relationship asking our partner to do these trivial things, please pause for a moment and think about why. Why do we need him to reply to messages instantly? Are we trying to confirm our own value? If you don't realize this, these small demands of ours will eventually become the handle by which the other person blames you, accusing you of being a control freak who demands him to do many small things that he cannot do. Because these manipulation means are very concealed and only target you, when you quarrel with the other person over these small things, the other person immediately accuses you of being selfish and petty. You have been in a state of extreme lack of security and self-doubt for a long time, resulting in an extremely unstable mental state.
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