The Gifts of Trauma

• The Trauma of Infertility, with Leila Bahri-Lucas

  Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes.  Produced by J'aime Rothbard. In this gentle, heart-felt conversation, Leila guides us through the emotional landscape of infertility debunking common myths and misconceptions. She also shares her personal story, from 11 rounds of IVF to complete emotional collapse, which led her to agency, freedom, a new beginning and a baby.   Leila also addresses: - How Infertility, as a trauma in its own right can unearth feelings of shame and worthlessness - Why trauma-informed support can ease the emotional toll of infertility medical interventions cannot. - The roles that self-compassion, truth and compassion play in our healing process - Why acknowledging difficult truths and fostering self-compassion are vital for emotional well-being Leila emphasizes that while the infertility journey is one of profound uncertainty and unraveling, if we surrender to the collapse, rather than allowing ourselves to be hijacked by the struggle, we can access freedom, agency and discover new paths forward. She shares how by learning to sit with our painful personal truths, cultivating self-compassion and community support, we can transform our experiences.  About Leila Bahri-Lucas  Counselor and Therapeutic Coach  Integrating Relational Life Therapy, Positive Psychology, Compassionate Inquiry and a Master's in Psychology and Neuroscience of Mental Health from King's College London, Leila's approach is trauma informed, emotionally precise, and grounded in real relational change, the kind that shows up in the way we live, love, argue, repair, and try again. While infertility remains central to her work, her focus has grown into the wider landscape of family building and relational transitions. She supports individuals, couples, and groups navigating infertility or its aftermath, blended families, relationship breakdowns, identity shifts, grief, and the emotional patterns that shape connection. Leila believes we each hold a reproductive story, whether or not we become parents. Her passion is helping people stay connected to themselves and each other during life chapters that often create silence, shame, or distance. Her own path included 11 IVF cycles, conceiving her daughter through egg donation, and becoming a mother nine months after her father died. That personal history continues to shape how she understands lineage, rupture, protection, and the courage it takes to relate with honesty. Based in Dubai, Leila works internationally with people who want to understand what drives disconnection and how real connection becomes possible again. Promotional Message: If you're not a therapist or healer, but you've heard our guests describe the personal transformations they experienced during their Compassionate Inquiry® journeys, and wonder what that would be like for you... Circles is a 10-week small group experience offered to anyone who wants to experience the power of Gabor Maté's approach to trauma healing. Use this link to find out if this program is for you. Resources Websites: Leila's Website   Leila's CI Circle  (Starts 1/14/26) No matter what we're going through, infertility, relationship strain, blended-family transitions, loss, or simply feeling disconnected, these experiences shape how we relate to ourselves and others. They can create isolation, silence or distance, even in relationships that matter deeply. Leila's upcoming CI Circle on Relating is a supportive space for all who want to explore these relational layers in a supportive community with honesty and care.  Studies: Fewer than half of IVF cycles are successful. These scientists are trying to change that IVF research: What are the latest advances, and what obstacles stand in the way? Articles: What your doctor isn't telling you about IVF — but should Common Infertility Myths & Misperceptions.  Navigating the Emotional Landscape of Infertility What surrender really means in spirituality and how it can bring peace in modern life  Books: Conceivability When the Body Says No Intimate Conversations with the Divine  When Things Fall Apart  The Untethered Soul The Surrender Experiment Embracing Uncertainty  The Upside of Uncertainty  Podcasts: 15 Best Fertility Podcasts (2025) Quotes: "Infertility is uncertainty on a repeat. Infertility is uncertainty and so is life actually. It's the illusion of control that we have to let go of." - Leila Bahri-Lucas "The path is uncharted. It comes into existence moment by moment and at the same time drops away behind us. It's like riding on a train sitting backwards. We can't see where we're headed, only where we've been." - Pema Chödrön. (When Things Fall Apart) "Truth without compassion isn't healing and compassion without truth isn't enough. So work on that self compassion muscle in whichever way you can." - Leila Bahri-Lucas "Infertility is trauma in its own right, but it also unearths deeper wounds from early life. It leaves no stone unturned. For one in four to six couples, the inability to conceive cracks open layers of shame, isolation, rejection (for not being chosen) and grief that track back to childhood. Infertility has a particular set of stressors. It's a raw and complex journey for oneself and relationally." - Leila Bahri-Lucas   Social Media  @realwithleila  

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• Menopause: From Estrogen Washing to Social Silence, with Dr Aisling Quiery & Rati Roberta Riccardi

  Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J'aime Rothbard. In this conversation, our guests forge a link between childhood trauma and the severity of menopausal symptoms. Aisling, a GP who is herself experiencing perimenopause, notes that the menopausal women who consult her often carry immense stress from being "sandwiched" between their peak career responsibilities and caring for children, grandchildren and aging parents.  Together Aisling and Rati contrast: - "Estrogen Washing" a term Aisling coined to suggest that HRT often serves as a "wash" which may offer temporary relief but is covering deeper societal issues like capitalist demands, patriarchy, and the emotional burdens placed on women. - Societal Silence: Despite a full 25% of the UK population being perimenopausal or menopausal, there's a significant lack of open discussion on this topic amongst women, and little to no discussion about it between menopausal women and the men in their lives. - Negative Cultural Views of Menopause; In the west it's often seen as an end of productivity and fertility. It's associated with shame and unattractiveness. In Native American traditions, where older women are revered as "elders" and "wisdom keepers," menopause symptoms are often less severe. The conversation concludes with supportive future visions for women in menopause. Rati suggests women need space, quiet, rest, and reduced workloads, along with curious, loving, and respectful listening from others.  Aisling envisions women's menopausal struggles as harbingers of greater cultural challenges to come. She suggests men will take on more emotional load, and society will come to value aging women as wise, empathetic leaders.  Rati Roberta Riccardi, Somatic Therapist After a 12-year career as a professional freelance translator in Italy, Rati started exploring. For the last two decades, she has been supporting people in expanding their consciousness and empowering them to find their inner healer/teacher through a variety of modalities. A Compassionate Inquiry® Practitioner, Facilitator and Mentor, and a psychedelic assisted therapy preparation and integration practitioner, Rati has explored different healing traditions, including various shamanic approaches. She is trained in Mediterranean massage, Reconnective Healing and The Reconnection, Hatha Yoga, Nada Yoga, Meditation, Breathing Techniques and Intuitive Energy Work. She has studied the consciousness expanding and healing properties of sound extensively with Alexandre Tannous and facilitates group and one-on-one sound meditations.  Rati has travelled extensively, learning, studying, and guiding groups with prolonged stays in Brazil, Peru and Mexico to explore indigenous culture and traditions. About Dr Aisling Quiery Aisling is a Family Doctor (GP), a Compassionate Inquiry® Practitioner and a Health/Life Coach who combines her medical knowledge, her Compassionate Inquiry® training and Coaching to help people to heal through connection to their authentic selves, to the present moment, and to each other. With her support, her patients move beyond symptom management, to healing. After training as a doctor in Scotland she worked as a GP in an economically deprived area of North Edinburgh where she also ran a community Hepatitis C clinic, a service for people who inject drugs and worked in a primary care service for people experiencing homelessness. It was through her addictions work that she first discovered the work of Gabor Maté. Aisling attended a plant medicine retreat with Gabor and the Shipibo healers in Peru in 2019 and went on to train in Compassionate Inquiry®, a modality that changed how she sees herself, her patients and the medical model. She lives on an organic farm in County Down in the North of Ireland and works at GP practices in her local area as well as working privately with individuals and groups using Compassionate Inquiry®. Promotional Message: Did you know that Compassionate Inquiry® offers a free public blog library with over a thousand short posts written by our practitioners and facilitators?  Each is only a 5 or 6 minute read, and topics range from connecting with authenticity to overcoming food addictions to understanding epigenetics, rethinking drug use, CI & Psychedelics, and much, much more. You can also read excerpts from podcast guests' interviews. Tap this link to access our helpful, enlightening and inspiring blog library.  Resources: Websites: Rati's Professional Website  Rati's Compassionate Inquiry Profile Aisling's Professional Website Aisling's Compassionate Inquiry Profile Compassionate Inquiry® Related Links ACEs Study Take the ACEs Quiz Margaret Mead Books: The Myth of Normal The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Trauma and Adversity Quotes: "Mary Jane Minkin,  a researcher at Yale University, found that societies where elders and wise women are revered and celebrated show far less severe menopause symptoms than societies where they are not". - Dr Aisling Queiry "13 million women in the UK are perimenopausal/ menopausal, that's 25% of the population…" - Dr Aisling Queiry "I've just read that the Arabic word for menopause translates as, 'age of despair.'" - Dr Aisling Quiery "...elephants, whales and human beings are the only three mammals that have a menopausal period for the female of that species. The only reason … is that childbirth is both dangerous, makes a female vulnerable and takes up a lot of her time. So when the reproduction is taken away from a female at a certain age, it frees her up to be a wisdom keeper and a knowledge passer." - Kevin Young "There is no greater power in the world than the zest of a postmenopausal woman." - Margaret Mead "...we're pushing ourselves so hard and not valuing the aging process and not valuing the wisdom that comes with being an elder, all of that. So let's be curious about that." - Dr Aisling Quiery Social Media FB: Rati: ​​https://www.facebook.com/rriccardi        Aisling: https://www.facebook.com/DrAislingQuiery IG: Aisling: https://www.instagram.com/draislingquiery/

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• Menopause: From Multitasking Queen to Second Girlhood, with Dr Priya Duggal and Rosio Fuentes

  Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes.  Produced by J'aime Rothbard Join us for this wide ranging conversation between a Menopausal Naturopathic doctor and a Therapist who lives with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome while mothering a neurodivergent family and experiencing Menopause. Together, Rosie and Priya address the many physiological, emotional and practical implications of Menopause "tipping points" for women's health. They highlight that: -  Living an inauthentic life (always "doing" for others) can create physical symptoms, likewise addiction patterns may emerge or intensify if unmet needs are not addressed through self-care - While working, parenting, caring for aging parents, etc., can make women resist slowing down and prioritizing self-care, this resistance can also come from their "multitasking queen" identities - The decline in estrogen's cardiovascular protection increases women's risk of heart issues - In traditional Chinese medicine, Hot Flashes are both "rising yang fire," (the body's wisdom for detoxing through sweat) and represent untapped potential. So balancing yin is key. Priya concluded by stressing that the human mind, body, and thoughts are interconnected (like musicians in an orchestra). Each woman's menopause journey is unique, so compassionate, individualized care is essential, as is exercise, good nutrition and sleep, sun exposure, and fresh air. "Menopause is a second girlhood—a time to rediscover your own authentic self. So be kind to yourself, don't compare yourself to others, and listen to your body rather than resisting change." About Rosio Fuentes, Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner & Excited Curiosity Coach I'm Rosie. Curiosity moves me. It always has. I am both sentimental and direct, soft and clear. I care deeply, and that's where everything begins for me.  I'm a Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner, Private Mentor, and Excited Curiosity Coach. I'm also first generation, the daughter of migrant parents, and that shaped the way I see everything!  Two worlds, two languages, two ways of belonging. When I sit with clients, I'm not there to fix them. I'm there to normalize the things we're often told to hide like addictions, suicidal thoughts, sex, shame, guilt, grief, all of it. I'm there to make what's real safe for them to name and to reflect back the essence of self, that part of them that is untouched and whole. I live in a neurodivergent household with my husband and our three girls, whom we are guardians for. Life here is hard, extremely hard and lively, honest, constant healing, wonder, and continuous awe. I also live with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and constant physical pain, along with thyroid and gastric issues, allergies, sensitivities, and autoimmune patterns that sometimes show up as Lyme or lupus. The pain is never not with me, yet gratitude, awe, and love are always there too. I love mother earth, the universe and all living beings. Knowing we are connected keeps me whole and allows me to be with what's present in myself and others. About Priya Duggal, ND Priya is both a firm believer in Mind-Body Medicine and a registered Naturopathic Doctor. She focuses on women's health, breast cancer, autoimmune conditions, addictions, and mental health. She is also a Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner, Facilitator, Educator, Mentor and Circle Leader. In her work with clients, in addition to incorporating the Compassionate Inquiry (CI) approach, she draws on the teachings of Stephen Porges, Gordon Neufeld, and Bessel van Der Kolk. Priya is passionate about helping others live authentic lives as she continues pursuing her own connection with her true self.  Born and raised in India, Priya first trained as a medical doctor, but her search for deeper answers led her to naturopathic medicine, mind-body medicine and CI. After earning her ND, she took the Healthy Breast Program with Sat Dharam Kaur, ND, and continued her quest for personal and professional growth by training in Kundalini Yoga, Beyond Addiction and CI. Priya is the Vice President of MammAlive foundation, a non-profit organization run by volunteers who are passionate about women's health and breast health education. She spends her time between both Canada and India, and enjoys travelling the world, exploring different cultures, painting, nature walks, spending quality time with her husband, two adult children and adorable pet-Kaju. True healing is in you, as Hippocartes said -" Natural forces from within us are the true healers of disease". What we feel and what we believe has a profound effect on our health.  Promotional Message: If you've been listening to our podcast and are curious about the transformative power of Compassionate Inquiry®, join us for a 6-hour online experiential introduction to the Compassionate Inquiry approach and community. This link takes you to a web page where you can get information and, if you choose, register for the next CI Experience event coming up on November 8. Resources: Websites: Roisio Fuentes Dr Priya Duggal Priya's Compassionate Inquiry Profile Related Links: Ehlers Danlos Syndrome & Menopause hEDS Symptoms and Menopause   Articles: ADHD and Sex Hormones in Females: A Systematic Review  EMAS Position Statement: Thyroid Disease and Menopause   Books: Hormone Repair Manual, Lara Briden The Complete Natural Medicine Guide to Women's Health, Sat Dharam Kaur, ND MenuPause, Dr Anna Cabeca Keto Green 16, Dr Anna Cabeca The Hormone Fix, Dr Anna Cabeca When the Body Says No The Myth of Normal The Body Keeps the Score Research & Studies: Menopause is associated with postprandial metabolism, metabolic health and lifestyle: The ZOE Predict study (Abstract) Perimenopause as a neurological transition state. Sex hormones, aging and cardiometabolic syndrome.  Silymarin is an ally against insulin resistance: A review.  Effect of magnesium supplementation on insulin resistance in humans: A systematic review.  Social Media:  Rosie: FB: https://www.facebook.com/ExcitedCuriosity/           IG: https://www.instagram.com/excited.curiosity/ Priya: FB: https://www.facebook.com/priya.duggal.355           IG: mammaliveindia

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• Menopause Pruning: Clearing Space for Authenticity, with Inés Zabalaga & Kate Hazlitt, ND

  Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J'aime Rothbard This conversation moves from the medicalization of menopause to reclaiming it as a natural process; an important, transformative life stage marked by growth, development, and renewal, not an illness or pathology. Kate and Inés advocate for shifting from symptom management to trusting the body's innate capacity and involving the entire community in understanding this transition. Inés and Kate highlight:: - Brain Pruning which "chops away" old ways of thinking and being, making way for authenticity, new identity, and a renegotiation of roles - How psychedelic therapies can support post-pruning regeneration by fostering neuroplasticity - The invitation to "redo" by challenging universal beliefs, interrupting obsolete patterns, releasing societal expectations, and embracing one's authentic, "limited," and "inconvenient" self. - The natural grief associated with the loss of the predictable menstrual cycle - How hormonal shifts influence mood and energy, which often require rest and repair. Kate and Inés both emphasize the importance of women educating themselves about their bodies' cycles, informing their communities, and approaching menopause with wisdom, self-attunement, honesty, kindness, and patience.  About Dr. Kate Hazlitt, ND   A naturopathic doctor, speaker, and Compassionate Inquiry® Practitioner specializing in women's health and midlife transitions, Kate helps women move through burnout, hormonal shifts, and stress with clarity, compassion, and nervous system awareness—guiding them back to safety in their bodies and authenticity in their lives. Her clinical practice integrates Eastern and Western philosophies of the nature and cause of disease and focuses on the interweavings of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health. Kate's primary therapeutic tools are Asian medicine and acupuncture, clinical nutrition with diet and supplementation, botanical, homeopathic and auricular medicine, counseling, detoxification and drainage. About Inés Zabalaga, MEd, MA in Systemic Therapy, Clinical Psychologist, Psychedelic Assisted Therapies Facilitator. With over 25 years of clinical experience in family, individual, couples and group therapy, Inés is a Compassionate Inquiry® Practitioner, a Family Constellations Facilitator, Director of Spontaneous Theatre, Bach and Uruguayan Flowers Practitioner, trained in psychodrama. She also leads Horse-Assisted Constellation workshops to create collective fields of human and equine energies that support her clients' wholeness.  After completing a psychedelic integration training with Iceers, Inés is training in the 3-year Grof Legacy Program for therapists oriented towards psychedelic work. Along with her partner, Inés co-leads psychedelic assisted sessions and co-facilitates retreats.  Promotional Message: If you've been listening to our podcast and are curious about the transformative power of Compassionate Inquiry®, join us for a 6-hour online experiential introduction to the Compassionate Inquiry approach and community. This link takes you to a web page where you can get information and, if you choose, register for the next CI Experience event coming up on on November 8. Resources: Websites: Kate's Professional Website  Inés' Compassionate inquiry Profile Related Links Claiming Your Power in Perimenopause Podcast Pruning, Myelination, and the Remodeling Adolescent Brain - Dr Dan Siegal Dr. Lisa Mosconi Family Constellations Good Guilt Dying To Live Workshop on Friday 31st October 2025  Books: Menopocalypse  Roar Like a Woman – Emma Thompson Wise Power:  Discover the Liberating Power of Menopause to Awaken Authority, Purpose and Belonging  The Relaxed Woman  Rest is Sacred  Quotes: "I went through my own process, I'm in my mid-40s, so I can often literally feel my brain pruning, as it's chopping away old, like, long outdated ways of thinking and being in my life." - Kate Hazlitt, ND "...can we just be this very limited, very ordinary, delicious creature that has stopped trying to be more than enough?" - Inés Zabalaga "...there is this cultural obsession with the evidence based menopause, and we're leaving out lived experience of women who are elders who have wisdom to share with us. If we leave them out of the conversation, we're missing a real opportunity of learning and growth and self understanding." - Kate Hazlitt, ND "We lose so much time because of the archetype of that ideal lady that is non existent. We are not ideal mothers. We are not ideal partners. We might even be...not so convenient. The archetypal information is playing a big role in preventing us from connecting with love in life."  - Inés Zabalaga   Social Media: IG:  @drkatehazlittnd. (IG)  IG: CasaMagica Ineszabalaga FB: CasaMagica Ineszabalaga

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• Unveiling Indian Cultural Trauma, with Mansi Poddar

  Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J'aime Rothbard. This conversation exposes the impact of cultural trauma on Indian mental and emotional well-being and  the conflicts these cultural pressures can cause. After outlining how therapeutic approaches can ease the pain, transform lives and begin to shift cultural norms, expectations and beliefs, Mansi asserts that having dreams, desires, and boundaries is an expression of one's wholeness, not a betrayal of others. Cultural dynamics explored include: - The expectation that women will sacrifice their personal happiness for family honor - Belief systems that defy logic and reason - Abusive parents, difficult in-laws, avoidant husbands and broken familial promises - The opposition of successful, educated professional vs. traditional wife and mother roles - Normalizing physical abuse, financial abuse, and marital rape Constantly overriding authenticity to pursue attachment gives rise to appeasement patterns, fawning responses and false beliefs such as, "sacrifice is love." These behaviours are linked to autoimmune diseases, as is detailed in Gabor Maté's book, When the Body Says No. Mansi supports his thesis with a poignant story of a friend battling terminal cancer, who sadly learned this lesson too late. About Mansi Poddar, Psychotherapist A trauma-trained psychotherapist and clinical supervisor, Mansi developed the SANI Model of Therapy—a trauma-informed, integrative framework which weaves together 4 key strands of therapeutic wisdom—Somatic Psychology, Affective and Attachment Psychology, Narrative Therapy, and Deep Inquiry. Having supported individuals through trauma, life transitions, and emotional healing for 14 years, Mansi's approach is designed to provide deep healing, emotional resilience, and personal transformation. She specializes in Compassionate Inquiry (developed by Dr. Gabor Maté), somatic therapy, narrative therapy, and inner child healing, integrative approaches that support deep transformation of both body and mind. With a MA in Counseling for Mental Health and Wellness from New York University, Mansi is a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional and a Certified Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner trained in suicide prevention. Manis is currently pursuing advanced training in Trauma Informed Stabilization Treatment (TIST), Somatic Experiencing and Somatic Psychotherapy. Promotional Message If you're interested in experiencing Gabor Maté's trauma healing approach, consider working with a certified Compassionate Inquiry (CI) Practitioner. Access healing support for mental, emotional and physical symptoms, unresolved trauma, relationship issues,  addictions, and more. Use this link to access our global directory of multilingual certified professionals. In addition to their years of CI training and regular Certification reviews, our Practitioners bring the depth of their own personal lived experiences and skills in additional, complementary therapeutic approaches.  Resources: Websites: Professional Website Related Links: Parental Abuse in Indian Culture Surviving to Thriving Adverse Childhood Experiences International Questionnaire (ACE-IQ) Books: When the Body Says No Podcasts: Women Making Impact - India We See Your Pain Quotes: "For decades, Indian culture has practised an authoritarian style of parenting where parents believe in having complete autonomy over their child's life, in most cases, even during the teenage and adult years. 'Tough love' is a favorite among Indian parents. 'Traditional Indian parenting' or 'conservative mom and dad' are terms loosely thrown around in India to uphold and normalise acts of suppression and child abuse, carried out for decades in familial structures." - The Naked Truth "When you question something, you are told, this is our culture, this is our tradition, and when this is done, it means that logic has ended and belief has come in." -  Kamla Bhasin. "We are being educated. We are being told you should get a career, you should get a profession, you should be financially independent. But nobody is teaching men and their families to…create a culture that sustains this for women. So there is a conflict…A lot of women get diagnosed as borderline or bipolar because… they're filled with rage, and after talking, get people to mediate or communicate their needs. Nobody is hearing them. So they get these diagnoses. And a large part of my work is helping them peel off the labels and look at what's beneath it." - Mansi Poddar "Beliefs that hold women back: 1. Sacrifice is love. 2. Family honor is more important than personal happiness. 3. Good women don't say no." - Mansi Poddar "Shame is a very strong thing in this culture. Constant comparisons, body shaming, humiliation. I meet adults who are 60 years old who are still being humiliated by their parents." - Mansi Poddar Social Media:  IG: https://www.instagram.com/mansitherapy?igsh=MWxvdTRmanprenlk&utm_source=qr FB: https://www.facebook.com/psychologistmansi

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