The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Kevin Young & Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J'aime Rothbard 
In a 1990 speech draft, Nelson Mandela named FW de Klerk, the leader of apartheid-ruled South Africa, as an 'honourable man.' It was a potentially unpopular statement, but one that Mandela left up to de Klerk to disprove. In this fifth and final episode of No Villains, Only Wounds, our guests look at resilience and peace as real, repeatable human capacities. The personal stories our guests share support that thesis, and broaden it to imagining collective futures where we sit with our enemies, and resolve our differences in new ways.
Tim and George also explain:
- The adaptive function of nightmares and intrusive thoughts after a frightening event
- How identity can be maintained, as long as its associated emotions are released
- "Coping ugly": Finding a way through something that works for us, but may fail to meet cultural norms
- What enables credible leaders to invite their communities to think and act differently
This conversation concludes by touching on "The flexibility mindset," (I've gotten through many things before and I will get through this) and the agency-enabling process of understanding how our brains operate, and George's latest book, The End of Trauma.
About George Bonanno
A Professor of Clinical Psychology at Columbia University's Teachers College, George is internationally recognized for his pioneering research on human resilience in the face of loss and potential trauma. Listed among the top 1% most cited scientists in the world, he has been honored as fellow by the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS), and received lifetime achievement awards from the Association for Psychological Science (APS), the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies (ISTSS), and the International Positive Psychology Association (IPPA). In addition to the books, The End of Trauma and The Other Side of Sadness, George has published hundreds of peer-reviewed scientific articles. He is also an avid painter (when he has time) and loves music.
About Tim Phillips
A leader in the field of conflict resolution and transitional justice, Tim is the founder of Beyond Conflict, a global non-profit that has created powerful and innovative frameworks to open pathways for progress in peace negotiations, transitions to democracy, and national reconciliation in the aftermath of conflict and dictatorship in several countries around the world. Under his leadership, Beyond Conflict has catalyzed the field of behavioral science and social conflict and partners with scientists and practitioners to advance new evidence-based strategies to reduce conflict, increase tolerance, and facilitate positive social change in the United States and abroad. Tim has advised the United Nations, the U.S. Department of State, and the Council of Europe, and helped launch the Club of Madrid, a forum of 150 former democratic leaders who work to strengthen global democracy and institutions.  Educated at Suffolk University and the London School of Economics, Tim was awarded an honorary doctorate in 2018.
Promotional Messages:
Practitioners' Directory
If you're interested in experiencing Gabor Maté's trauma healing approach, consider working with a certified Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner. Access healing support for mental, emotional and physical symptoms, unresolved trauma, relationship issues,  addictions, and more. Follow this link to access our global directory of multilingual certified professionals. In addition to their years of CI training and regular Certification reviews, our Practitioners bring the depth of their own personal lived experiences and skills in additional, complementary therapeutic approaches.
Blog Library
Did you know that Compassionate Inquiry offers a free public blog library with over a thousand short posts written by our practitioners and facilitators?  Each is only a 5 or 6 minute read, and topics range from connecting with authenticity to overcoming food addictions to understanding epigenetics, rethinking drug use, Compassionate Inquiry & Psychedelics, and much, much more. You can also read excerpts from podcast guests' interviews. Tap this link to access our informative and inspiring blog library.
Resources:
Websites:
George's Professional Website         
Tim's Beyond Conflict Website
Books & Articles:
Tim's Publications & Research
The End of Trauma
The Other Side of Sadness
Beyond Conflict
How Emotions Are Made
The Principles of Psychology
A Grief Observed
Beauty: The Invisible Embrace 
The Presence Process
Social Media: 
X:  @giorgiobee
X: @beyondconflict_
Instagram @giorgiobee
Instagram: @beyondconflict_
Facebook: George A Bonanno
Linkedin: George Bonanno
LinkedIn: Beyond Conflict
YouTube: Beyond Conflict

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J'aime Rothbard.
In this fourth episode of No Villains, Only Wounds, we explore what recovery looks like in a body that has been through war, injury or identity collapse. Krystalore shares how illness and her service led her to somatic psychology and Compassionate Inquiry, and Alexandra traces her path from her own suffering and her father's unspoken experience to the Returning Home retreats she developed for veterans alongside Dr Peter Levine.
As Krystalore and Alexandra speak about the body's wisdom, rebuilding after trauma, illness and military service, they also explain:
- What happens internally when your worth is attached to an identity you no longer hold
- Why curiosity, time and presence can be the greatest gifts we can offer a veteran
- How 'soldiering on' differs from coming home to the body
- Why physical comfort is a priority in Alexandra's veterans retreats
This conversation concludes with an affirmation that healing is always possible, how surviving differs from what it takes to come home; and how returning home to ourselves is a process and a journey that we each need to experience and travel in our own ways.
About Dr Alexandra Whitney
Having worked for decades at the intersection of trauma healing,contemplative practice, and the creative arts, Alexandra brings together her clinical experience with a lifelong immersion in meditation and Buddhist psychology. The founder of Eightfold Path and Sacred Restoration, she is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapist with a PhD in East-West Psychology.
In 2018, Alexandra collaborated with Dr. Peter Levine and Somatic Experiencing International to develop the Returning Home Project, a specialized retreat protocol for veterans living with combat and military-related PTSD. As Principal Investigator and Program Director, she led a quantitative research study of the 2019 retreat in Northport, Maine. The data points to positive clinical outcomes. Building on that success, she and Dr. Levine presented Waking the Tiger in 2021, an intensive trauma healing retreat for the general public.
Today, Alexandra offers Sacred Restoration, her "third-generation" Somatic Experiencing intensive. The program weaves the core principles of Somatic Experiencing together with acupuncture, craniosacral therapy, yoga, Social Presencing Theater, and psychodrama, within a social therapy model that fosters co-regulation, coherence, and belonging.
In her private practice in Newcastle, Maine, Alexandra offers one-on-one sessions, workshops, support groups, and immersive retreats. She invites people to slow down, listen to the wisdom of the body, and come home to themselves, restoring the connection between heart, mind, and body.
About Krystalore Crews, Veteran, 
Somatic & Emotional-Intelligence Coach
A 22-year U.S. Air Force Veteran, former professional athlete and NFL cheerleader, Krystalore is also a cancer survivor, a 28-time marathon finisher and a 50-mile ultramarathon runner. After navigating RA autoimmune disease and spending time in a wheelchair, she rebuilt her strength, identity, and confidence through movement, trauma-informed healing, and compassionate self-inquiry.
Krystalore integrates Compassionate Inquiry's body-centered approach into her coaching and leadership work. She is currently pursuing a PhD in Somatic Psychology to deepen her understanding of the relationship between the body, trauma, identity, resilience, and recovery.
As the founder of Crews Beyond Limits Consulting and Her Next Mission Foundation, Krystalore helps leaders, women veterans, first responders, and people navigating major life transitions regulate, rebuild, and rise. Her work brings together somatic awareness, leadership development, holistic wellness, and her signature 34-Minute Mindset.
Promotional Messages:
Compassionate Inquiry® Professional Training
If you've been listening to our podcast and are curious about the Compassionate Inquiry approach developed by Doctor Gabor Maté and Sat Dharam Kaur, consider joining the Professional Training Program. It's open to all healing professionals, including naturopaths, physicians, body workers, coaches, and therapists. In addition to learning how to use compassion to support your clients in their most vulnerable moments with greater empathy and authenticity, you'll also deepen your own internal process. If you're interested, tap this link to learn more.  
Spotlight Episodes
Your journey with Compassionate Inquiry® matters. Your work in the world matters. If you have a story to share about bringing Compassionate Inquiry into the world, we'd like to amplify your voice. Spotlight episodes are full length Gifts of Trauma podcast interviews offered exclusively to CI community members. You'll not only share your story with 55,000 healing professionals across all platforms, you'll receive a pre-interview strategy session plus three promotional video clips. We're offering only 10 Spotlight episodes per year and production realities require a financial contribution. Follow the links to access full details and express your interest. Spotlight Episodes   |   Sponsorships
Resources:
Websites:
Alexandra's Returning Home Retreats
Alexandra's Psychology Today Profile
Krystalore's Website
Krystalore's Her Next Mission Foundation
Krystalore's Speaker Profile
Related Links:
Alexandra's Sacred Restoration (Article)
Krystalore's 34-Minute Method
The Road To Resilience (Book)
Social Media:
Alexandra's Instagram
Krystalore's Instagram
Alexandra's Linkedin
Krystlore's LinkedIn
Krystalore's Facebook
Krystalore's YouTube

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J'aime Rothbard.
When a heavy bombardment in Syria displaced more than 50,000 people in a single night, Rola called her warehouse manager to ask how many tents they could mobilize. The answer was 50.
In this third episode of No Villains, Only Wounds, our guest Dr Rola Hallam takes us inside what it means to keep showing up for others in the midst of chaos, and what happened to her after a decade of doing so. She describes a day when everything became meaningless, and the invitation delivered through burnout, a dark night of the soul and PTSD: Was she willing to be transformed by it?
Rola also shares:
- What kept her Syrian colleagues going through the war, and…
- How they described surrendering to the divine, bound by kinship and a calling
- Recognizing the voice that told her to get back to work as the voice of shame
- The alarm bells she missed: Insomnia, chronic pain and a sense that nothing was ever enough
Listen in and you'll leave this conversation with an invitation to notice what you are carrying that is not yours to carry, and to orient to the light alongside the many others willing to sit in the fault lines.


About Dr Rola Halaam
An award-winning Syrian-British doctor, international speaker, TED Fellow, trauma-informed coach and Sufi guide, Rola's work explores how we create genuinely different futures without reproducing the very patterns we are trying to change.
Across more than two decades in medicine, humanitarian leadership and systems-building, Rola has worked where the stakes are real: operating theatres, war zones, collapsing health systems and frontline communities. As founder of CanDo, she helped build seven hospitals in Syria, supported care reaching more than four million people, raised millions for social change initiatives and has spoken on global stages alongside presidents, activists and changemakers. Her talks have been viewed more than 11 million times.
Her own experience of burnout and PTSD revealed how extraordinarily clever we have become at creating change in the world without attending to the transformation within ourselves that genuine paradigm change requires. We call over-functioning resilience, confuse carrying with caring, and use our own life force to fund the work. We pursue new solutions from many of the same patterns of trauma, extraction, separation and human exceptionalism that shaped the problems themselves, only to reproduce them in new forms.
For Rola, paradigm change asks more of us than better strategies. It asks for an evolution from clever to wise: transforming the consciousness, relationships and ways of being from which we create, so that we can embody the change we seek to bring into the world.
Bringing together systems thinking, trauma healing, somatic practice, Sufi wisdom and expanded states of consciousness, Rola's work invites a shift towards sacred stewardship: rooted in relationship and belonging, guided by truth and aliveness, and in service of life and all beings.
Promotional Messages:
Short Course
If you're drawn to Dr Gabor Maté's teachings and books, you might like to know about the Compassionate Inquiry® Short Course.
This program provides an introduction to the powerful therapeutic trauma healing approach created by Dr Gabor Maté and developed by Sat Dharam Kaur. The Short Course delivers 30 hours of video and narrated powerpoints, plus PDFs that together, will not only help you understand the origins of trauma and how it can be healed, but also how trauma is linked to mental and physical illnesses. Tap this link to learn more about this program that's priced and presented to make it accessible to all. 
Compassionate Inquiry® Circles
If you're not a therapist or healer, but you've heard our guests describe the personal transformations they experienced during their Compassionate Inquiry® journeys, and wonder what that would be like for you... Circles is a 10-week small group experience offered to anyone who wants to experience the power of Gabor Maté's approach to trauma healing. Use this link to find out if this program is for you.
Resources:
Websites & Related Links:
Rola's Website
The Village
Special Listener Offer
Join The VIllage for 25% off
Claim your place 
Karpman Drama Triangle
Rola's TedX Talk
Social Media:
FB: @DrRolacCoaching
IG: @drrolahallam
LinkedIn: Dr Rola Hallam

Hosted by J'aime Rothbard & Kevin Young. Produced by J'aime Rothbard
After hearing a man on a crowded commuter train ask for money for somewhere to spend the night, citing his deployments in Afghanistan, Matthew watched as all along the carriage people turned their backs on him. While part of him also wished the man away, another part reached for a twenty-pound note. What stayed with Matthew was how quickly and unconsciously the man was isolated, completely alone in the middle of a crowd.
In this second episode of No Villains, Only Wounds, Matthew Green returns to talk about how the psychological injuries of war come home, and about the collective and ancestral trauma work that is changing how he moves through the world.
In this conversation, Matthew shares:
- Why what is done in a country's name belongs to all of us, whether or not we agreed to it
- What he's learned through inviting white British people to look at the legacy of the empire, and the shadow trauma that harming others leaves within those who perpetrate the harm.
- How he traced his own anger, numbness and lost voice back to soldiers in his ancestral line
- Where a ceasefire ends and peace begins
This interview offers a gentler and braver way of looking at what lives within you and your lineage, and the lived experience that facing it in community liberates us to choose a different way.
About Matther Green, Journalist, Author and Collective Trauma Integration Facilitator
As a journalist covering conflicts across Africa, in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan for Reuters and the Financial Times, bouts of depression led Matthew to explore a wide range of healing practices, culminating in his 2015 book, Aftershock (stories of British military veterans and their families confronting the psychological scars of war.)  
In April, 2022, Matthew's frustration over Reuters' response to the climate crisis led him to quit and join DeSmog, which exposes corporations blocking climate action.
After studying the psychological and mystical principles of healing individual, ancestral and collective trauma via Thomas Hübl's Timeless Wisdom Training, Matthew became a Collective Trauma Integration Facilitator.
Alongside regular panel appearances on the BBC, Matthew has co-hosted the Collective Trauma Summit, the Climate Consciousness Summit and currently co-facilitates Being White British: Colonised and Colonisers for The Pocket Project with Manda Johnson.
He co-founded the Resonant Man with Jacob Kishere, and together they support men in exploring vision, creativity, relationship and brotherhood. Matthew lives in London with his wife Genevieve, a clinical psychologist, and their 9-year-old daughter. When he's not reading, writing or discussing trauma healing, he loves helping people resolve their dilemmas via the Tarot.
Promotional Messages:
Compassionate Inquiry® Conference—Vancouver 2026
If you've completed, or are currently enrolled in Compassionate Inquiry training, you're invited to attend the third international CI Conference in Vancouver, Canada from October 30 to November 1. Dr Gabor Maté is returning as our keynote speaker and master class presenter. Enjoy engaging workshops and inspiring demonstrations with Sat Dharam Kaur, CI Facilitators and Practitioners. Whether you join us in person for three days of shared inquiry with CI cohort partners, and colleagues from around the world, or attend virtually to focus on the teachings, tap this link to learn more and secure your place. And yes—there will be dancing. 
Compassionate Inquiry®  Spotlight Episodes
Your journey with Compassionate Inquiry® matters. Your work in the world matters. If you have a story to share about bringing Compassionate Inquiry into the world, we'd like to amplify your voice. Spotlight episodes are full length Gifts of Trauma podcast interviews offered exclusively to CI community members. You'll not only share your story with 55,000 healing professionals across all platforms, you'll receive a pre-interview strategy session plus three promotional video clips. We're offering only 10 Spotlight episodes per year and production realities require a financial contribution. Follow these links to access full details and express your interest. Spotlight Episodes   |   Sponsorships
Resources:
Website:
Matthew's Professional Site
Related Links:
Resonant Man
Aftershock
Matthew's Newsletter & Podcast
DeSmog
Courses:
Timeless Wisdom Training
Being White British: Colonised and Colonisers
Somatic Abolitionism
Books:
Aftershock: The Untold Story Of Surviving Peace 
My Grandmother's Hands
How the Irish Became White
Podcasts:
Simon Courtney, the Great Famine in Ireland
Matthew's 2024 Gifts of Trauma episode
Social Media:
LinkedIn

Hosted by Kevin Young & Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J'aime Rothbard.
When Layla Al-Sheikh's six-month-old son, Qussay, became gravely ill after Israeli soldiers used tear gas in her village, the family set out for the hospital. For more than five hours, soldiers refused to let them through a military zone, and by the time they reached the hospital it was too late to save him. Years later, Layla stood outside a meeting room with a man who had once stopped a family with a sick child from reaching a hospital, and told him she could forgive him.
In this first episode of the No VIllians, Only Wounds Series, guests Layla and Robi, bereaved Palestinian and Israeli mothers, share how they processed their grief through dialogue with bereaved parents from 'the other side.'
They exchange personal stories including:
- What Robi instinctively chose to do with her grief after her son David was killed
- How Layla came to see bereaved Israeli parents as people who share her pain
- Why Robi believes forgiveness can never be forced
- How speaking about her loss changed what Layla was carrying in her body
You'll leave this episode with a hopeful picture of what becomes possible when bereaved parents sit down together and share their stories, even while the conflict around them continues.
About Robi Damelin, 
Israeli Peace Activist & Bereaved Mother
As spokesperson and director of International Relations for the Parents Circle - Families Forum, Robi joined the organization after her son was killed by a Palestinian sniper. All of her work on the ground in Palestine, Israel, and internationally, is geared towards non-violence and reconciliation as a means to end the occupation. Robi was named a 2015 Woman of Impact by Women in the World.
About Layla Al-Sheikh, 
Palestinian Bereaved Mother
Layla lives in Bethlehem in the West Bank. In 2002, her 6 month-old son, Qussay, became ill and Israeli soldiers prevented Layla from taking him to the hospital for more than five hours. Qussay soon died from the lack of timely treatment. 
Layla joined the Parents Circle in 2016. Following her son's death, she never thought of revenge, but rather has devoted her time and energy to ensuring a better, more peaceful future for her children.





About The Parents Circle – Families Forum (PCFF) is a joint Israeli-Palestinian organization of over 850 families, all of whom have lost an immediate family member to the ongoing conflict. The members have undertaken a joint effort amid ongoing and escalating violence to transform their loss and pain into a public and collective demand for peace and reconciliation. 
PCFF's Theory of Change is rooted in the understanding that personal transformation, processing loss, grief and anger, can disrupt cycles of violence, enabling both interpersonal connection and collective action. When those who have paid the highest personal price for the conflict publicly reject the logic of endless war, they challenge dominant narratives of inevitability, revenge and dehumanization.
For its extraordinary work, advancing peacebuilding through educational programs and reconciliation initiatives for Palestinian and Israeli youth and adults of all ages, PCFF was nominated for the 2026 Nobel Peace Prize. Humbled by this nomination, PCFF bereaved members know it carries not only recognition of past work but also a great responsibility towards future impact. 
Promotional Messages
3rd Compassionate Inquiry® Conference—Vancouver 2026
If you've completed, or are currently enrolled in Compassionate Inquiry training, you're invited to attend the third international CI Conference in Vancouver, Canada from October 30 to November 1. Dr Gabor Maté is returning as our keynote speaker and master class presenter. Enjoy engaging workshops and inspiring demonstrations with Sat Dharam Kaur, CI Facilitators and Practitioners. Whether you join us in person for three days of shared inquiry with CI cohort partners, and colleagues from around the world, or attend virtually to focus on the teachings, tap this link to learn more and secure your place. And yes—there will be dancing. 
Compassionate Inquiry® Circles
If you're not a therapist or healer, but you've heard our guests describe the personal transformations they experienced during their Compassionate Inquiry® journeys, and wonder what that would be like for you... Circles is a 10-week small group experience offered to anyone who wants to experience the power of Gabor Maté's approach to trauma healing. Use this link to find out if this program is for you.
Resources
Websites 
Robi's Wikipedia
PCFF Website
Related Links
We have to bring hope to the world (Video 2026)
Listening From the Heart (Video) 
Harvard Gazette  (Article)
Robi's TedX Talk (Video) 
Layla in Forbes  (Article)
Social Media
Instagram: @robidamelin
@parentscirclefriends 
Facebook: @robi.damelin1
American Friends of the Parents Circle - Families Forum
LinkedIn: American Friends of the Parents Circle - Families Forum
YouTube: American Friends of the Parents Circle