The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Kevin Young. Produced by J'aime Rothbard.
Five years ago, during the COVID lockdown, Urszula received an email that informed her that she had cancer. No doctor called first to walk her through it, so she assumed it was a mistake, but her doctor's call the next morning confirmed the diagnosis. Up until that point, Urszula had been the person who managed everything and everyone, a role she first took on as a child. 
She carried that same instinct into music school, journalism, and her own business (a communications agency built entirely on her own terms where she answered to no one). It took a cancer diagnosis and one blunt sentence from a Chinese medicine practitioner, to show her what all of that managing had actually cost her.
In this conversation Urszula also shares:
- The unexpected gift buried inside a diagnosis nobody would have asked for
- Why it took her so long to understand a Chinese medicine practitioner's assessment
- What redefining 'being good' actually means became the hardest part of her recovery
- What she built in Warsaw to share what she learned, and why she refuses to push it on anyone
This isn't a conversation about cancer, it's about a woman who spent decades making sure everyone around her was fine, and learning—the hard way—how to notice when she wasn't fine herself. Today that same instinct to manage everything has shifted into an invitation: "Come find your body at 7am or 8pm, in Polish or English, and no one will try to convince you to stay."
About Urszula Radzińska: Founder, MyMeditation.Space | Meditation Teacher 
& Mindfulness Coach
After discovering meditation as a university student, Urszula's life path led her to build and run a successful communications agency. For 20 years, she was effective, responsible, always 'on.' Then in 2016, while still running her agency, she began sharing meditation with others. In the 2020 pandemic lockdown, she built MyMeditation.Space, a project that has since become her life's work. The real tipping point came in 2021, when a cancer diagnosis forced her to stop controlling everything and start listening to her body, not as a tool to optimize, but as a source of wisdom in its own right.
That shift changed her life. In the years that followed, Urszula became an internationally certified OSHO Active Meditations facilitator, she completed EMCC-accredited* training in mindfulness-based coaching and recently finished the year-long training in Compassionate Inquiry—the approach at the heart of this podcast—which she is now integrating into her coaching and teaching. Ula also lives with ADHD, which shapes how she supports clients in finding steadiness without forcing themselves into constant action.
Since 2022, she has focused on growing MyMeditation.Space, teaching active meditation classes, training future OSHO facilitators, and offering individual sessions and workshops in Warsaw and online. In these few years, she also founded The Mindful Living Foundation, a non-profit she now chairs, and launched and hosts OBECNA, a Polish language podcast that explores mindfulness, meditation, and coming back to oneself.
Contact with oneself, Urszula believes, isn't a luxury, it's the foundation everything else is built on. Curious listeners can start with a free 20-minute consultation via her website.
*EMCC: The European Mentoring and Coaching Council
Promotional Messages:
Compassionate Inquiry® Circles
If you're not a therapist or healer, but you've heard our guests describe the personal transformations they experienced during their Compassionate Inquiry® journeys, and wonder what that would be like for you... Circles is a 10-week small group experience offered to anyone who wants to experience the power of Gabor Maté's approach to trauma healing. Use this link to find out if this program is for you.
The Portal
If you've been listening to our podcast, you may have heard guests connect their birth experiences with enduring subconscious behavioural and emotional patterns. To help break this cycle, Compassionate Inquiry® offers The Portal, a 28-week trauma-informed training for perinatal health professionals; such as midwives, obstetricians, nurses and doulas, who want to empower their patients to trust their innate ability to birth, bond and nurture their child. Use this link to learn more
Resources
Websites:
Ureszula's Professional Website 
MyMeditation.Space Website
Mindful Living Foundation Website
Related Links:
OBECNA podcast 
Compassionate Inquiry® Professional Training 
OSHO Trainings
Social Media:
Instagram: @urszula.radzinska
Facebook: @urszula.radzinska
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/urszularadzinska
YouTube: @urszula.radzinska
Spotify: @urszula.radzinska

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes. Produced by J'aime Rothbard.
FDNY Lieutenant Joseph Leavey's voice on the radio tapes from that morning was calm, steady and in command as he led his men into the South Tower of the World Trade Center.  His daughter, Caitlin was just ten, and it took her some time to understand why he never came home, and what had happened to the outgoing larger-than-life father she adored. Twenty-five years later, on the anniversary of 9/11, Cait joins us to talk about her clinical work as a therapist to first responders, military veterans and their families.
She also shares:
- The gift that emerged from the ashes of that disaster
- How it felt when the initial wave of community support faded, and her lifelong mission to keep it alive
- What Camp America did for kids who lost family on 9/11
- Where the Spirit of 9/12 shares its messages of hope
This isn't a conversation about what was lost on September 11th, but about what one person refused to let fade. Every year, Cait returns to her father's firehouse on 9/11 to be embraced by her father's memory and the second family she's known all her life. Then, every 9/12, she runs a local event that inspires the next generation to keep the compassionate spirit of that dark time alive.
About Caitlin Leavey, LMHC
A licensed mental health counselor, trauma-informed therapist, and advocate whose personal and professional work is rooted in grief, healing, and service, Caitlin is the daughter of FDNY Lieutenant Joseph Leavey, whom she lost on September 11, 2001. In the years since, she has carried her dad's legacy forward by helping individuals and communities transform grief into meaningful connection and action.
Cait specializes in supporting people affected by trauma, loss, anxiety, and depression, with a particular commitment to first responders, military, Gold Star families, and others whose experiences of grief and service are often carried quietly.
She is the co-founder of The Holding Frames, a nonprofit that uses art, storytelling, and compassionate connection to help people feel seen and supported during times of hardship. Cait also co-founded the 9/11 Memorial & Museum Visionary Network and founded The Spirit of 9/12, an annual youth-led day of service that honors the September 11 National Day of Service (9/11 Day). She is also a 9/11 Day Ambassador.
Through her work as a clinician, storyteller, and community leader, Cait invites others to recognize that healing does not mean leaving loss behind—it means finding ways to carry love, purpose, and connection forward.
Promotional Messages:
Compassionate Inquiry 3rd CI Conference—Vancouver 2026
If you've completed, or are currently enrolled in Compassionate Inquiry training, you're invited to attend the third international CI Conference in Vancouver, Canada from October 30 to November 1. Dr Gabor Maté is returning as our keynote speaker and master class presenter. Enjoy engaging workshops and inspiring demonstrations with Sat Dharam Kaur, CI Facilitators and Practitioners. Whether you join us in person for three days of shared inquiry with CI cohort partners, and colleagues from around the world, or attend virtually to focus on the teachings, tap this link to learn more and secure your place. And yes—there will be dancing. 
Compassionate Inquiry Suicide Attention
The Compassionate Inquiry Suicide Attention Training is for therapists, health professionals and others working in therapeutic, healing, educational, medical, or coaching roles. If you're seeking sensitive training to help you recognize and support people in your communities who may be experiencing suicidal distress, tap this link to access a web page where you can learn more about this training, and decide if it's a good fit for you. 
Websites:
Cait's Psychology Today Profile
The Holding Frames 
The Spirit of 9/12
Points of Light
Related Links:
9/11 Memorial & Museum Article
The Spirit of 9/12 Event Info
America's Camp 
Tunnel to Towers
Gold Star Families
Smart Home Recipients
A Paradise Built in Hell (Book)
Feathers of the Phoenix (Art Project)
Social Media
Cait's Instagram
The Holding Frames Instagram 
Cait's Facebook
The Holding Frames Facebook
Cait's LinkedIn

Hosted by Kevin Young and J'aime Rothbard. Produced by J'aime Rothbard 
Most people experience one or two truly traumatic events in their lifetimes. Most first responders live through a hundred. In this final episode of our First Responders Series, Brandon returns to integrate everything this series has explored and uncovered. In this reflective conversation he challenges and embraces the word we use most often to describe people like him, and almost never ask them about.
Brandon also shares:
- Why calling first responders "heroes" might be doing them more harm than good
- How the "hero" label reflects both first responders' 'superpowers' and desire to be 'regular people'
- What a sports psychologist taught a team of competitive firefighters about winning
- Why the first call Brandon made after his own crisis was to a therapist, and why for most first responders, that's usually the last call they make
This isn't just a wrap-up episode. It's the conversation this whole series has been building toward; what it actually means to be human first, and a hero second, if at all.
About Brandon Evans Executive Director,
Fire to Light Foundation, Founder & CEO,
Fire to Light 
Brandon Evans is a retired firefighter and the Founder of Fire to Light, an organisation dedicated to advancing preventative Mental Fitness training inside the fire service. Drawing on lived experience and independent global research involving over 104 fire chiefs and leaders across 13 countries and 5 continents, Brandon developed the Fire to Light Mental Fitness Training System, a practical operationalised approach to training Mental Fitness the same way fire departments train every other critical skill.
Through the Fire to Light Foundation, a registered Canadian charity of which Brandon serves as Executive Director, the goal is to make Mental Fitness training accessible to every fire department, removing barriers so that Mental Fitness is systemised and embedded into fire service operations worldwide. not treated as a clinical afterthought, but trained, reinforced, and owned at every level of the organisation.
Brandon's mission is to help reduce rates of suicide and psychological injury in the fire service through an upstream approach of Mental Fitness Training, Fitness before Therapy.
Promotional Messages:
The Compassionate Inquiry® Experience
If you've been listening to our podcast and are curious about the transformative power of Compassionate Inquiry®, join us on Feb 22 for a 6-hour online experiential introduction to the Compassionate Inquiry approach and community. This link takes you to a web page where you can get information and, if you choose, register for the CI Experience event.
Compassionate Inquiry® Circles
If you're not a therapist or healer, but you've heard our guests describe the personal transformations they experienced during their Compassionate Inquiry® journeys, and wonder what that would be like for you... Circles is a 10-week small group experience offered to anyone who wants to experience the power of Gabor Maté's approach to trauma healing. Use this link to find out if this program is for you.
Resources:
Websites:
Fire to Light Foundation 
Fire to Light Website
Support Fire to Light — Zeffy
Fire to Light Research Study
Related Links:
Crackyl Magazine
International Association of Fire Chiefs
FireFit Championships
Book:
Divine Beauty
Articles:
Firefighters and Mental Health: The Fear of Raising Your Hand
But There Is Nothing Wrong With Me
Trauma: Who, What, Where, When and Why
Podcasts: 
Upgrade Your Self Love (2025)
Heroes are Also Human (2025)
Transforming Challenges into Opportunities (2025)
Videos:
The Case Against Cosby (2023)
Firefighting and Mental Fitness (2025)
Real Leadership Comes from Courage (2024)
Social Media:
Facebook: Fire to Light
Instagram: @firetolight_firefighters
LinkedIn: Fire to Light Foundation

Hosted by J'aime Rothbard & Rosemary Davies Janes. Produced by J'aime Rothbard 
Rachael Staebell spent two decades being the first person on the scene on the worst day of people's lives, but no one ever trained her for the part of the job that came after the sirens stopped. In this episode, Rachael, retired fire service paramedic and president of Women in Fire, joins returning guest Brandon Evans to talk about what it actually means to carry the not-knowing, the grief, and the weight of the ones who didn't make it.
In this episode, Rachael and Brandon explain:
- What it's like to be the one who tells a stranger their loved one is dead
- A reframe of the First Responders' suicide epidemic as a need to "make it all stop"
- What mountain biking, waterskiing and pulling weeds have to do with surviving the job
- What they want from the public, instead of being thanked for their service
This conversation doesn't flinch in taking on hard subjects. Our guests are two people who've done this work, honestly sharing what the job takes, what it can cost, and what can help. If you've ever wondered what it's like to be a first responder, this episode will change how you see the people who show up when they're needed, save the lives that they can, and leave with burdens that need to be carefully unpacked.
About Rachael Staebell, Lieutenant,
Colorado Springs Fire Department (Retired)
President, Women In Fire
As the first paid, full‑time female firefighter in Fountain, Colorado, Rachael spent over two decades  advancing through the ranks at Colorado Springs Fire Department before retiring as a Lieutenant, and dedicating her efforts to advancing the Women in Fire organization.​ 
What kept her engaged as a fire services paramedic was the team. Having grown up on a soccer field, the fire service felt like a new kind of team where her size, strength and drive finally made sense. That sense of belonging is what Rachael works to create for others, especially women who don't see  themselves reflected in the "classic" firefighter image.​
As President of Women in Fire, Rachael's focus is simple: Support and empower firefighters so they can succeed and stay. She leads hands-on training at conferences to help shape mission driven programs in training, advocacy, and networking. She also works with partners like FEMA/USFA, Science to the Station and national fire organizations to advocate for the tools, equipment, mentorship, and visibility all firefighters need to grow. ​
Rachael cares deeply about the practical side of inclusion: gear that fits, stations with facilities for everyone, policies that support caregivers, and cultures that treat people with dignity and respect. Those "details" change who can show up, who can stay, and who can lead. Today only a small percentage of firefighters are women. Changing that is about building stronger, safer, more resilient organizations.​
About Brandon Evans Executive Director,
Fire to Light Foundation, Founder & CEO,
Fire to Light 
Brandon Evans is a retired firefighter and the Founder of Fire to Light, an organisation dedicated to advancing preventative Mental Fitness training inside the fire service. Drawing on lived experience and independent global research involving over 104 fire chiefs and leaders across 13 countries and 5 continents, Brandon developed the Fire to Light Mental Fitness Training System, a practical operationalised approach to training Mental Fitness the same way fire departments train every other critical skill.
Through the Fire to Light Foundation, a registered Canadian charity of which Brandon serves as Executive Director, the goal is to make Mental Fitness training accessible to every fire department, removing barriers so that Mental Fitness is systemised and embedded into fire service operations worldwide. not treated as a clinical afterthought, but trained, reinforced, and owned at every level of the organisation.
Brandon's mission is to help reduce rates of suicide and psychological injury in the fire service through an upstream approach of Mental Fitness Training, Fitness before Therapy.About Brandon Evans
Promotional Messages
The Compassionate Inquiry® Experience
If you've been listening to our podcast and are curious about the transformative power of Compassionate Inquiry, join us on Sep 26 for a 6-hour online experiential introduction to the Compassionate Inquiry approach and community. This link takes you to a web page where you can get information and, if you choose, register for the CI Experience event.
Compassionate Inquiry® Suicide Attention Training
The Compassionate Inquiry Suicide Attention Training is for therapists, health professionals and others working in therapeutic, healing, educational, medical, or coaching roles. If you're seeking sensitive training to help you recognize and support people in your communities who may be experiencing suicidal distress, tap this link to access a web page where you can learn more about this training, and decide if it's a good fit for you. 
Resources
Websites:
Women in Fire
Support Women in Fire
Colorado Springs Fire Department 
Fire to Light
Support Fire to Light
Related Links:
Women in Fire Conference
Fire Camps
Reproductive Health
Big Interview
Podcasts:
Fire Engineering (Women in Fire Podcast)
The Chief Exchange
A Duty to Act
Social Media:
Facebook: Women in Fire
Fire to Light
YouTube:  Women in Fire
Instagram: Women in Fire
Fire to Light
LinkedIn:  Women in Fire
Fire to Light Foundation

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes.  Produced by J'aime Rothbard.
In this episode, a retired Oklahoma Highway Patrol Lieutenant (and co-founder of Warriors Rest) joins a retired firefighter (and founder of Fire to Light) to discuss the similarities and differences of the challenges each profession faces. They also explain how their organizations meet similar needs from different places; one intervening when there's a crisis, the other going to work upstream, before the crisis happens.
Brett and Brandon take turns sharing:
- The moment a counselor's simple question finally broke through Brett's resistance to getting help
- Why the phrase, "Take a minute to make a minute," stayed with Brandon
- What his partner's death, hours after his own son's birth, taught Brett about cumulative trauma
- The question Warriors Rest trains people to ask when someone may be suicidal
- The weight ever-increasing public scrutiny adds to policing that firefighters and EMS don't experience
- Why a net under the Golden Gate Bridge is proof that small interventions save lives
Brett remembers the pounding of his heart during his very first highway pursuit, and how over time, even the most adrenaline-charged calls stopped registering as stressful. This conversation is about what it takes for first responders to stay present to stay well. Because if you have to call for help on the worst day of your life, you want those first responders to be mentally, emotionally and physically fit.

About Brett Key, OHP Lieutenant (Retired) 
A retired Lieutenant with the Oklahoma Highway Patrol (OHP), Brett is the Executive Director and Co-Founder of Warriors Rest Foundation, an Oklahoma City-based nonprofit organization dedicated to the mental health and wellness of first responders—law enforcement, fire and EMS.
After 26 years with OHP, Brett brings a depth of experience that few can match. During his career he served as a K-9 handler and supervisor in the Criminal Interdiction Division, developed curriculum for OHP's Leadership Development and Law Enforcement Driver Training programs, and served as Commandant and Assistant Commandant for three OHP Academies. He also served on OHP's Tactical Team as an operator, sniper, Team Leader, and rising to the position of Assistant Commander before retiring in 2021.
For over a decade, Brett served as a peer counselor in OHP's Officer Assistance Program, work that planted the seed for everything Warriors Rest Foundation has become. He is trained in Critical Incident Stress Management through the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, has helped build and train peer support teams across Oklahoma, and has served as a peer counselor at Post Critical Incident Seminars and with C.O.P.S. at National Police Week in Washington D.C.
Brett is an experienced presenter and instructor in leadership, peer support, and first responder wellness—speaking to command staff, agencies and conferences across the US.
He founded Warriors Rest because he believes mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health should be the number one priority for every first responder, their family, and their department.
About Brandon Evans Executive Director,
Fire to Light Foundation, Founder & CEO,
Fire to Light 
Brandon Evans is a retired firefighter and the Founder of Fire to Light, an organisation dedicated to advancing preventative Mental Fitness training inside the fire service. Drawing on lived experience and independent global research involving over 104 fire chiefs and leaders across 13 countries and 5 continents, Brandon developed the Fire to Light Mental Fitness Training System, a practical operationalised approach to training Mental Fitness the same way fire departments train every other critical skill.
Through the Fire to Light Foundation, a registered Canadian charity of which Brandon serves as Executive Director, the goal is to make Mental Fitness training accessible to every fire department, removing barriers so that Mental Fitness is systemised and embedded into fire service operations worldwide. not treated as a clinical afterthought, but trained, reinforced, and owned at every level of the organisation.
Brandon's mission is to help reduce rates of suicide and psychological injury in the fire service through an upstream approach of Mental Fitness Training, Fitness before Therapy.
Promotional Messages
Compassionate Inquiry® Professional Training
If you've been listening to our podcast and are curious about the Compassionate Inquiry approach developed by Doctor Gabor Maté and Sat Dharam Kaur, consider joining the Professional Training Program. It's open to all healing professionals, including naturopaths, physicians, body workers, coaches, and therapists. In addition to learning how to use compassion to support your clients in their most vulnerable moments with greater empathy and authenticity, you'll also deepen your own internal process. If you're interested, look for the link in the show notes.  
Compassionate Inquiry® Conference—Vancouver 2026
If you've completed, or are currently enrolled in Compassionate Inquiry training, you're invited to attend the third international CI Conference in Vancouver, Canada from October 30 to November 1. Dr Gabor Maté is returning as our keynote speaker and master class presenter. Enjoy engaging workshops and inspiring demonstrations with Sat Dharam Kaur, CI Facilitators and Practitioners. Whether you join us in person for three days of shared inquiry with CI cohort partners, and colleagues from around the world, or attend virtually to focus on the teachings, tap the link in the show notes to learn more and secure your place. And yes—there will be dancing. 
Resources:
Websites:
Warrior's Rest
Support Warrior's Rest
Fire to Light
Support Fire to Light
Related Links:
"Clinicians for Warriors" Conference 2025
ASIST (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training
Peer Support Teams
Law Enforcement Suicides & Riska Study
Police Trauma Syndrome Research
2020 Dallas Police Study
Golden Gate Bridge Net
Social Media:
Facebook: Warrior's Rest
Fire to Light
Instagram: Warrior's Rest
@firetolight_firefighters
X Warrior's Rest
TikTok Warrior's Rest
LinkedIn: Warrior's Rest
Fire to Light Foundation