Coaching for Leaders

• 719: How to Better Manage Your Emotions, with Ethan Kross

  Ethan Kross: Shift Ethan Kross is the author of the national bestseller Chatter and one of the world’s leading experts on emotion regulation. An award-winning professor in the University of Michigan’s top-ranked Psychology Department and its Ross School of Business, he is the Director of the Emotion and Self-Control Laboratory. He's the author of the new book, Shift: Managing Your Emotions--So They Don't Manage You*. Being a leader means that our emotions get triggered, often many times a day. While none of us can avoid those triggers, how we respond to them can make all the difference. In this conversation, Ethan and I explore his research on how to better manage our emotions. Key Points We often assume that approaching emotions is universally good and avoiding emotions is universally bad. Reality is much more nuanced. We can strategically use our senses to modulate our feelings. Music is a simple and powerful way to manage emotions proactively. Use playlists that align with the mood you wish to create. Using distancing language when talking to yourself (i.e. saying “you” instead of “I”) can help you regulate. Time shifting may help regulate your emotions. Ask yourself, how will I feel about this in a week? A month? A year? Different tools work for different people at different times. Experiment to help you determine what works best for you. Resources Mentioned Shift: Managing Your Emotions--So They Don't Manage You by Ethan Kross Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Find Helpful Advisors, with Ethan Kross (episode 516) How to Grow From Your Errors, with Amy Edmondson (episode 663) How to Handle High-Pressure Situations, with Dan Dworkis (episode 701) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

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• 718: How Leaders Can Use the Algorithms for Good, with Sandra Matz

  Sandra Matz: Mindmasters Sandra Matz is a Columbia Business School professor, computational social scientist, and pioneering expert in psychological targeting. Her research uncovers the hidden relationships between our digital lives and our psychology with the goal of helping businesses and individuals make better decisions. She is the author of Mindmasters: The Data-Driven Science of Predicting and Changing Human Behavior*. Algorithms are becoming more influential with each passing day. That’s why leaders must understand their power and then decide how their organizations engage. In this conversation, Sandra and I discuss where psychological targeting is at, where it’s going, and the opportunity you have to make the world a bit better. Key Points Everyone knows everything in a small town (for better or worse). In the same way, psychological targeting can be used for both evil and good. Psychological targeting already is successful at identifying wealth, personality, income level, and sexual orientation – and keeps improving. None of this is going away. Understanding how the game of targeting is played can help you make it work to your advantage. Leaders and organizations who use targeting responsibly can do tremendous good, including helping people save money and flag early interventions for health crises. Be transparent with what data you’re collecting and how you’re using it. Consider newer practices like federated learning that protect privacy and provide permission-based access. Design systems and practices that anticipate the reality of future leaders with different values. Resources Mentioned Mindmasters: The Data-Driven Science of Predicting and Changing Human Behavior by Sandra Matz Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes Serve Others Through Marketing, with Seth Godin (episode 381) The Way to Earn Attention, with Raja Rajamannar (episode 521) The Reason People Make Buying Decisions, with Marcus Collins (episode 664) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

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• 717: A Key Tactic for Way Better Conversations, with Alison Wood Brooks

  Alison Wood Brooks: Talk Alison Wood Brooks is the O’Brien Associate Professor of Business Administration and Hellman Faculty Fellow at the Harvard Business School, where she created and teaches a course called TALK. As a behavioral scientist, she is a leading expert on the science of conversation and her research was referenced in two of the top ten most-viewed TED talks and depicted in Pixar’s Inside Out 2. She is the author of Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves*. Conversations are the venues where leaders do so much of their work. We all know someone who always can keep a conversation interesting and relevant. In this episode, Alison and I discuss how a key tactic can help you towards more meaningful conversations. Key Points Healthy relationships are critical for success, and relationships are about talking. Good conversation is both instinct and deliberate effort. Preparing topics in advance improves conversation immensely. Topics for conversation can be sourced from almost anywhere and help even if we don’t use those topics. Good topic management is more important than the right topic. The best conversationalists know when to shift. Small talk in an essential exploration ground for getting to bigger, more meaningful conversation. Resources Mentioned Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves* by Alison Wood Brooks Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes The Way Into Difficult Conversations, with Kwame Christian (episode 497) How to Help Difficult Conversations Go Better, with Sheila Heen (episode 655) How to Connect with People Better, with Charles Duhigg (episode 670) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

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• 716: How to Share an Inspiring Vision, with Adam Galinsky

  Adam Galinsky: Inspire Adam Galinsky is the Vice Dean for Diversity, Equity and Inclusion and Paul Calello Professor of Leadership and Ethics at the Columbia Business School. He co-authored the book Friend & Foe and his TED talk, How to Speak Up for Yourself, is one of the most popular of all time with over 7 million views. He's the author of Inspire: The Universal Path for Leading Yourself and Others. Leaders can delegate many things, but vision is not one of them. Most every leader needs to be able to articulate the future. In this conversation, Adam and I explore the building blocks to get better at inspiring others. Key Points Every leader has the potential to be inspiring. We can choose to get better. Whatever a leader says, either positive or negative, will be amplified. When values are brought front and center, they inspire behavior that creates a better future. Inspiring leaders offer a big picture, optimistic view of the future. Make visions simple and vivid. Simplicity is the key to inception. Use strong imagery that brings details to life. Repetition is essential for a vision to take hold. The more often we hear something, the more likely it becomes our own truth. Resources Mentioned Inspire: The Universal Path for Leading Yourself and Others* by Adam Galinsky Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Sell Your Vision, with Michael Hyatt (episode 482) The Beliefs of Inspirational Leaders, with Stephen M. R. Covey (episode 707) How to Create Your Personal Vision (Audio course) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

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• 715: How to Stand Up for Yourself, with Sunita Sah

  Sunita Sah: Defy Sunita Sah is an award-winning professor at Cornell University and an expert in organizational psychology, leading groundbreaking research on influence, authority, compliance, and defiance. A trained physician, her research and analyses have been widely published in leading academic journals and media entities including The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Harvard Business Review, and Scientific American. She is the author of Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes*. We often think of defiance as a snap judgement. Yet, it’s so much more nuanced and purposeful than it often appears. In this conversation, Sunita and I explore the common patterns of defiance and how we can all do a better job of standing up for ourselves. Key Points We follow bad advice – even when we know it is obviously bad – to avoid appearing unhelpful. Defiance means acting in accordance with your true values when there is pressure to do otherwise. True defiance is not a snap judgement; it’s a process. Acts of defiance are preceded by many moments of conscious compliance, when defiance is deferred. Five stages of defiance often emerge: (1) Tension, (2) Acknowledgement (to ourselves), (3) Escalation (vocalize to others), (4) Threat of non-compliance, and (5) Act of defiance. Vocalizing our concern to someone else is a key pivot point on the journey to ultimately saying no. Respond explicitly to these questions: (1) Who am I? (2) What type of situation is this? and (3) What does a person like me do in a situation such as this? Resources Mentioned Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes* by Sunita Sah Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes Find Courage to Speak When It Matters Most, with Allan McDonald (episode 229) How to Build Psychological Safety, with Amy Edmondson (episode 404) How to Speak Up, with Connson Locke (episode 546) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

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