Disordered: Anxiety Help

You want to do the acceptance thing. You've read the books, you've listened to the podcasts, you intellectually get it. And then you get triggered, and suddenly the version of you that's anxious, scared, or doubting gets the door slammed in its face. That version of you is broken. That version shouldn't be here. That version needs to go.

But that's the version of you that actually has to learn the lesson.

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Want to talk about what you heard today or interact with us and a community of people that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community space:
https://disordered.fm/community
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In this episode we dig into one of the most common ways people unknowingly block their own recovery - conditional self-acceptance. Accepting yourself when you're calm and feeling OK, but turning on yourself the moment anxiety shows up, is not acceptance. It's a condition. You cannot do genuine tolerance, surrender, or desensitization while simultaneously trying to kick the anxious part of you out of the room.
Come as you are - tired, scared, doubting, not optimal - because that's who has to do the work. We also take apart the "80 days to become the person you want to be" optimization culture that's quietly telling anxious people they're broken, and why understanding your anxiety intellectually is necessary but nowhere near sufficient on its own. Plus real listener wins from the community, including a mom with emetophobia who used her son getting sick in the car as an accidental (and very successful) exposure.

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available as a paperback or on Kindle

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠
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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.
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Got a question or did it anyway to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

This week we're talking about attention. Specifically, how where you place your focus directly impacts your anxiety and your recovery.

We discuss how an anxiety disorder naturally hijacks your attention, pulling it inward to scan for threats inside your own body and mind. While checking in on how you feel might seem like the safest thing to do, it actually feeds the sensitization process. We look at the role of the locus coeruleus and the cognitive attentional syndrome, explaining why trying to constantly monitor, soothe, or "fix" your internal state keeps you stuck in a loop.

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Want to talk about this episode with Drew, Josh, and others that share your experience? We're hanging out on the Disordered Community app:
https://disordered.fm/community
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Recovery isn't about clearing the room or making the anxiety disappear before you can live your life; it is about practicing attentional control even when you are triggered. We share real-life examples from our community, including a 16-hour road trip and navigating a stressful work meeting, to show what happens when you bring your anxiety along for the ride instead of waiting for it to vanish.

Tune in to learn why shifting your focus toward meaningful action is a skill you can build, and how changing your relationship with your attention changes your recovery.

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available as a paperback or on Kindle

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠
---
Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.
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Got a question or did it anyway to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

Improving vs. Optimizing in Anxiety Recovery

In this episode of Disordered, Drew and Josh tackle a topic suggested by the community: the hidden trap of the "optimization culture" and how it intersects with anxiety and OCD.

There is a distinct difference between wanting to improve your health and falling into compulsive, perfectionist territory where every metric must be flawlessly managed. For an anxious mind fixated on certainty, the modern wellness industry’s obsession with biohacking, strict routines, and endless supplements can quickly become a tool for emotional avoidance. If you are optimizing your life just to prevent feeling anxious, you are inadvertently teaching your brain that you cannot handle discomfort.

Drew and Josh break down why checking out of the optimization loop and building psychological flexibility is essential for long-term recovery. They also share a couple of incredible "Did It Anyway" audio wins from the listener community, highlighting real-world victories over agoraphobia and situational panic.
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Want to ask questions about this episode or interact with Josh, Drew, and others that share your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community space:
https://disordered.fm/community
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Improvement vs. Optimization: Improving is about a flexible desire for growth; optimization often stems from a rigid need to control variables and avoid difficult feelings.

The Routine Trap: When your wellness routine gets the credit for you feeling okay, you miss out on learning that you are capable of tolerating distress on your own.

The Illusion of Control: Optimization culture survives by capturing your attention through fear, selling the false promise that you can micromonitor your way out of the human condition.

Managing Actual Health Conditions: When dealing with legitimate medical issues, recovery means learning to distinguish between practical, non-anxious monitoring and urgent, compulsive checking.

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available as a paperback or on Kindle

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.
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Got a question or did it anyway to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

What do you do when your anxiety finally quietens down for a few days? For many of us, a calm day triggers a completely new set of anxious habits. We treat the absence of panic as a fragile victory, freezing in place so we do not ruin it, or constantly checking around the corner to see if the fear is returning.

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Want to ask questions about this episode? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space:
https://disordered.fm/community
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In this episode, we address why the work of anxiety recovery continues even when you are feeling calm. When we spend our quiet days monitoring our internal state or scanning for threats, we signal to the brain that anxiety is still an active danger. True desensitization and psychological flexibility require us to drop the checking behaviors, turn off the comparison engine, and actually live our lives on the days we feel good.
We also share some fantastic "Did It Anyway" stories from our community, including a listener who navigated relationship OCD (ROCD) all the way to her wedding day, and another who broke a cycle of winter avoidance to go out for tacos.
The Comparison Engine: Why constantly evaluating whether today is better or worse than yesterday keeps your brain on high alert.

Sneaky Avoidance Plugins: How we mistakenly build rigid structures and cut out foods, books, or activities to artificially protect our calm.

Testing Willingness vs. Procedures: Why recovery is about discovering your capacity to handle discomfort, not finding a perfect routine to prevent it.

Living the Life You Want: Why a non-anxious day is the perfect opportunity to expand your world, try that avoided food, or take an unexpected drive, rather than sitting by the door waiting for the feelings to return.

Anxiety recovery is not a linear process, and it is not about winning an episode or permanently erasing a human emotion. It is about building the resilience to handle whatever experience comes your way, whether it is calm, neutral, or challenging.
---
The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available as a paperback or on Kindle

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠
---
Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.
-----
Got a question or did it anyway to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.
https://disordered.fm

Can distraction be a compulsion in anxiety recovery? It is a question that comes up constantly in the anxiety community. Many people are told to simply "distract your mind" when they feel anxious, but if you are doing it specifically to escape a feeling, it can quickly turn into a safety behavior or a compulsion.
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Want to talk about this episode with Drew, Josh, and others that are sharing your struggle and understand? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community space:
https://disordered.fm/community
---
In this episode of Disordered, the guys break down the crucial difference between using distraction as an urgent escape mechanism and choosing to intentionally shift your attention toward something meaningful. Drew and Josh look at how the intent and the presence of urgency dictate whether an action is helping your recovery or keeping you stuck in the anxiety loop.
Intent vs. Escape: Why how and why you distract yourself matters far more than the activity itself.

The Role of Urgency: How sprinting to an activity to stop an anxious feeling turns a healthy action into a compliance mechanism.

Attentional Control: The practice of moving your focus to value-driven actions even while anxiety chats away in the background.

Rewiring the Amygdala: Why teaching your brain that you are safe requires turning your attention away from the threat response.

Listener "Did It Anyways": Inspiring stories from the community, including overcoming a years-long fear of flying and navigating major life challenges while continuing to take brave steps forward.

Recovery is not about achieving perfect distraction to prevent difficult feelings. It is about building psychological flexibility and learning that you can coexist with discomfort while choosing where to put your focus.
---
The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available as a paperback or on Kindle
⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠
---
Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.
-----
Got a question or did it anyway to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.
https://disordered.fm